In order to avoid ending all on-air discussions with something along the lines of “Oh God, I just wish you could see it!” we wanted to put together an article where you guys could A) easily watch related highlights along with us, B) come back to later and enjoy, and of course, C) purchase products brought up on Laser Time to support the show. So please enjoy a more thorough, visual look at the topics brought up in our inaugural Star Wars episode!
Obviously, the Star Wars Blu-ray release spurred the entire conversation in the first place. It’s hard to resist purchasing Star Wars, just know that Lucas doesn’t care which version you prefer, so you’ll have to make do with his tinkering.
That said, the films have never looked and sounded better. We originally intended on watching all three Original Trilogy movies, and commenting on the changes. However, said changes don’t really go beyond what you’ve already seen in the Special Editions, and the ones that do, you probably already know of and have formed an opinion on.
These films are certainly better left forgotten, but their only real crime is being unbearable boring (Undoubtedly the result of being shot on a shoestring television budget.) Here’s the opening. Hope you weren’t expecting a yellow text scrawl and a blaring John Williams score.
Another lesson George Lucas didn’t bother to learn until the release of Episode II, is that child actors pretty much tend to ruin perfectly good sci-fi. It’s not so much about their acting ability… I believe it’s got more to do with dressing preteens in stupid hats and spouting Space Nouns that makes the experience grating and obnoxious. Here’s the stirring “Death of an Ewok” scene:
Both films are available for purchase, so if you must, do it through us.
The Droids cartoon has a somewhat positive reputation, although I’d argue that’s just the result of being shortlived, and therefore an odd curiosity. There’s nothing particularly great about the show, other than hearing Anthony Daniels as C-3PO again and that badass theme song that was evidently too hot (or intellectually protected) to find its way onto the DVDs.
Okay, this goddamned Ewoks cartoon is far less forgivable! Like we stated on the show, the Ewoks don’t really put a damper on Return of the Jedi…
At least to the extent most people claim to remember. It’s the legacy they left afterward, chiefly this force-feed animated atrocity.
Obviously, someone recognized kids liked Star Wars, and a Saturday Morning cartoon show couldn’t really sustain laser gunfights and lightsaber decapitations each week. Hence the Hanna-Barbera-ization of these cuddly, pointy-sticked simpletons into catchphrase-spewing blemishes on the Star Wars Universe. Only the brave shall buy…
I mean, the game is pretty terrible, however, I felt compelled to watch the video below in its entirety. Should shitty polygonal fighters ever become as kitsch as sprites and Super Mario Bros., this almost looks like some cute “What if…” fan project you’d find on Reddit.
(Look for Han Solo’s Dragon Punch at around the 8:30 mark and Darth Vader’s explosive ending at 6:50)
The Star Wars Holiday Special
Lastly, the Star Wars Holiday Special and the less said about it the better. Look, we’re all appreciators of “bad things” but this steaming pile of 70’s variety is universally loathed for a reason. Everything you’ve read about cannot prepare you – it’s even worse than that… It’s horribly produced, agonizingly paced, and just an all-around awful fit for both the property and audience. Imagine if The West Wing was adapted into comic books, or Mein Kampf was turned into an animated series. Now imagine the final product was a billion times worse than the trainwreck of an idea. Then add the cast of Empire Strikes Back, and I think we have a metaphor!
Look, I’m all out of text, so I’m going to go ahead and post the rest of the videos against my better judgment. However, I strongly recommend you reach for that back button like your life depended on it!