Star Wars Spinoffs – Laser Time Ep. 1 companion article

In order to avoid ending all on-air discussions with something along the lines of “Oh God, I just wish you could see it!” we wanted to put together an article where you guys could A) easily watch related highlights along with us, B) come back to later and enjoy, and of course, C) purchase products brought up on Laser Time to support the show. So please enjoy a more thorough, visual look at the topics brought up in our inaugural Star Wars episode!

Obviously, the Star Wars Blu-ray release spurred the entire conversation in the first place. It’s hard to resist purchasing Star Wars, just know that Lucas doesn’t care which version you prefer, so you’ll have to make do with his tinkering.

 

Star Wars: The Complete Saga Blu-ray

 

 

That said, the films have never looked and sounded better. We originally intended on watching all three Original Trilogy movies, and commenting on the changes. However, said changes don’t really go beyond what you’ve already seen in the Special Editions, and the ones that do, you probably already know of and have formed an opinion on.

The Ewok Movies

 

 

Star Wars: Ewok Adventures – Caravan of Courage and  The Battle for Endor Double Feature DVD

 

These films are certainly better left forgotten, but their only real crime is being unbearable boring (Undoubtedly the result of being shot on a shoestring television budget.) Here’s the opening. Hope you weren’t expecting a yellow text scrawl and a blaring John Williams score.

Another lesson George Lucas didn’t bother to learn until the release of Episode II, is that child actors pretty much tend to ruin perfectly good sci-fi. It’s not so much about their acting ability… I believe it’s got more to do with dressing preteens in stupid hats and spouting Space Nouns that makes the experience grating and obnoxious. Here’s the stirring “Death of an Ewok” scene:

Both films are available for purchase, so if you must, do it through us.

 Droids

 

Star Wars: Droids

 

The Droids cartoon has a somewhat positive reputation, although I’d argue that’s just the result of being shortlived, and therefore an odd curiosity. There’s nothing particularly great about the show, other than hearing Anthony Daniels as C-3PO again and that badass theme song that was evidently too hot (or intellectually protected) to find its way onto the DVDs.

Star Wars: Ewoks (cartoon)

Okay, this goddamned Ewoks cartoon is far less forgivable! Like we stated on the show, the Ewoks don’t really put a damper on Return of the Jedi

At least to the extent most people claim to remember. It’s the legacy they left afterward, chiefly this force-feed animated atrocity.

Obviously, someone recognized kids liked Star Wars, and a Saturday Morning cartoon show couldn’t really sustain laser gunfights and lightsaber decapitations each week. Hence the Hanna-Barbera-ization of these cuddly, pointy-sticked simpletons into catchphrase-spewing blemishes on the Star Wars Universe. Only the brave shall buy

 

Star Wars: Ewoks Cartoon

 

 

 

 

Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi

 

 

Star Wars: Masters of Teras Kasi (PSX)

 

I mean, the game is pretty terrible, however, I felt compelled to watch the video below in its entirety. Should shitty polygonal fighters ever become as kitsch as sprites and Super Mario Bros., this almost looks like some cute “What if…” fan project you’d find on Reddit.

(Look for Han Solo’s Dragon Punch at around the 8:30 mark and Darth Vader’s explosive ending at 6:50)

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Lastly, the Star Wars Holiday Special and the less said about it the better. Look, we’re all appreciators of “bad things” but this steaming pile of 70’s variety is universally loathed for a reason. Everything you’ve read about cannot prepare you – it’s even worse than that… It’s horribly produced, agonizingly paced, and just an all-around awful fit for both the property and audience. Imagine if The West Wing was adapted into comic books, or Mein Kampf was turned into an animated series. Now imagine the final product was a billion times worse than the trainwreck of an idea. Then add the cast of Empire Strikes Back, and I think we have a metaphor!

Look, I’m all out of text, so I’m going to go ahead and post the rest of the videos against my better judgment. However, I strongly recommend you reach for that back button like your life depended on it!

11 thoughts on “Star Wars Spinoffs – Laser Time Ep. 1 companion article

  1. That Star Wars fighting game looks terrible, but if I was a kid I would have crapped my pants. I know I have played worse games based on their characters alone, like “dragon ball gt final bout.”

    1. I actually played piece of crap as a kid with my dad. Not knowing much about fighting games and how long they normally last, we beat it in an evening and were super disappointed. We then spent a good hour and a half trying to get Han Solo’s special attack to work before we gave up. GOOD TIMES!

  2. This is a really good idea to have companion articles with the podcasts! This site keeps getting better…I just need some Lasertime swag now 😀

  3. This episode was great! I laughed a lot while listening! : ) And thanks for posting all these links to what was discussed! I’m watching some of them right now. : )

    Keep up the great work guys. : D

  4. I would actually love a West Wing comic book now that you mention it. This was great by the way, thanks for going that extra mile on something that was already highly enjoyable.

  5. This new feature is awesome — do it for all your shows. The show is hilarious and this is a brilliant way to provide your listeners with more entertainment, give your shows re-play value, and get more click-throughs. Antista fuck whatever Elston might say you’re a marketing genius. sorry i don’t know your forum name, maybe someone could let me know?

  6. Oh cool, now that I know the you pre- moderate comments, I can ask you directly: what are our forum names? Also, why do you moderate your comments? I get that you might want to eliminate any references to a certain other podcast. If that’s your reason, i get it. Its not only the smart thing to do, its the right thing to do.

    1. Only your FIRST comment needs to be moderated. Really helps thin the spam, but has absolutely nothing to do with mentioning TDar.

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