During our riveting discussion on Female Super Hero spinoffs in Laser Time Episode 4, we played various audio clips of the Super Ladies in question. Among other things. Figured we’d go ahead and show you that silliness, because some of this bullshit has to be seen to be believed…

But let’s get this out of the way first. The entire conversation stemmed from issues Brett and Henry had with DC’s recent reboot of #1’s. Many people have taken umbrage with many of the changes, but this depiction of Batman and Catwoman fucking is certainly a jarring highlight. How’s this for subtlety?!

We’re not prudes, but hey, remember when they used to imply that Batman and Catwoman wanted to fuck the hell out of each other? This ain’t no Deviant Art – this here’s official!

Holy Bat Jizz! Anyway, on to the cartoons. First off, you have to remember just how poorly damn near every superhero’s been treated in animated form. Even when memory tells you they’ve done it right, YouTube hindsight is always there to proves you wrong. Let’s preface that with one of our favorite cartoon disservices, The Amazing Fails of Spider-Man!

Was it Neil Patrick Harris that finally bucked the trend of giving Spidey the voice of 60+ year-old retiree? Whatever. Now that you know that, please prepare yourself for his dickless counterpart!

The next clip we used in the show was Spider-Woman’s meet up with Spider-Man, and it is a glorious abomination! In every ticking second it defies all logic, continuity, and any sense of dignity that should come with being a superhero. But before we show you that, it’s important to point out that the crossover clip shares a startling amount of eerie similarities with another finely edited piece from YouTube master, theswitcher. This piece from the Mega Man cartoon could be the greatest thing you see all day.

Did you think that was one of the worst plot lines you’ve ever seen? Well, it’s apparently nothing more than a 30-year-old cartoon template. Or maybe it’s just that Egyptian enemies never go out of style? Whatever the case, brace yourself for the colossal meet up of Spider-Man AND Woman!

There are few things I’ve seen this year that’ve made me laugh out loud more than watching every excruciatingly dumb moment in the video above with the guys. There are just too many outstanding moments of euphoric stupidity. It’s essentially the sole reason I put this article together – I wanted, needed, you to see it. But perhaps Spider-Woman is lucky. Almost no other female comic character ever got her own idiotic animated series, and most had to settle for brief appearances in other cartoon shows, such as She-Hulk in this clip from The Incredible Hulk cartoon.

I could watch this whole damn thing, but highlights include the beginning, the dumbass car crash at 2:30, and the emergence of “Rick” starting at 4:30. Conversely, our Hawk Girl clip came from, what I hear anyway, the thoroughly respectable Justice League Unlimited show.

I swear, I’ll watch it someday! I’m honestly a huge fan of DC’s animated output. Speaking of which, we closed out our show with this song, chosen by Hank. It’s by Japanese pop group, Puffy AmiYumi, and while I originally assumed it sounded like something that would never appear on the American show, it apparently DID to let US viewers know they were in for a more lighthearted episode. Cool.

That’s about it we got for now. Oh, except this slightly NSFW image, which I’m posting because A) I only brought up this podcast topic because I wanted to rewatch Supergirl for the first time in 20 years, and B) it’s fucking hysterical!

END!