The 10 best video game trees

A few years ago, when internet list articles were all the rage and we were cranking them out on a regular basis, I jokingly said I could write one about any topic out there. “Top 7 Trees? Let’s do this!” was my ridiculous example (little did I know I’d write about  far more absurd things down the line). But now, after years of unchecked list article growth, I think even this aggressively uninteresting topic has been covered to death, resulting in a tangled bramble of morning wood puns.


Yet no one covered Wild Woody, who is literally a walking boner joke

And sadly, other than a shoehorned Wild Woody reference, I barely have anything to add to this conversation. But Chris and I started talking about possible Laser Time content and I said, “Hey, I could finally write that tree thing.” And here it is. Will the four year wait be worth it? Probably not!

10 – BIG ASS BORING TREE (Wizards & Warriors)

We recently discussed the long-dead Wizards & Warriors series in VGMpire, and even during a podcast solely about music I couldn’t help but talk about the seemingly endless trees that clutter the game’s opening level. You enter through a Keebler-elf-sized door and then proceed to leap from one impossibly tiny platform to the next, always fearful of falGOD DAMN IT BEES NOW I HAVE TO CLIMB UP THE WHOLE THING AGAIN!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

From the outside, they appear as any ol’ tree might – brown, some branches, presumably some leaves if you make it high enough. But getting high enough to enjoy these alleged leaves takes such persistence, such determination, that the tree becomes some kind of pre-Dark-Souls exercise in punishing futility. And for this, they transcend run of the mill (HA!) trees and become something much more sinister.

9 – ENDING TREE (Dr Mario)

Let’s move on to an otherwise common tree that manages to stand apart. While playing pharmacy-em-up Dr Mario on medium or hard difficulty, you’re treated to a handful of quick cutscenes that show the three viruses chillin’ on top of a tree. These interstitials get progressively weirder as the levels pile on, but the final one is a doozy:

They were aliens rescued by the Close Encounters ship, I guess?

So it would seem the Dr Mario viruses were simply extraterrestrials trying to get home? And the game is about systematically killing them all in some kind of microscopic genocide? Oh right, the tree – well it’s just a tree, but you see it so often I feel it’s worthy of representing all non-sentient, non life-giving video game trees. Plus it made Carolyn cry when she saw her mom beat the game for the first time – the peaceful little guys finally got to go home!

8 – THE LIVING FOREST (Mortal Kombat II)

Ah, at last – our first treeture (aka tree creature, TM Brett Elston age 12). It’s amazing what this simple, barely animated background achieved – with just a basic facial expression, we assume these woods are deeply threatening, and therefor the whole of Outworld must be similarly twisted. We now “know” a great deal about the world of Mortal Kombat, just by observing the nightmarish location of the battles. In reality, all the devs did was make a tree with a face on it, something taken right from The Wizard of Oz, and we interpreted it as a presumably menacing enemy that set the tone for the entire series.

The Living Forest returns in MK 2011, but this time it will eat you

As iconic trees go, this really is near the top of the list. Just about anyone who’s played a game in the past 20 years (or maybe not even that) could identify, generally, from where these trees came. But as a tree tree, eeeeeh they just kinda sit there and don’t really impede or aid you in any way. Like most real world trees, they’re just kinda… there.

42 thoughts on “The 10 best video game trees

  1. when I read “mana tree” i thought “symphonia’s tree was better” and then I saw it as No.3 😀

  2. Finally. The whole time I was reading I was hoping for the Iifa tree. That tree was cool as shit. Because reasons.

  3. The only memorable video game tree I can think of off the top of my head are those ones in the first level of Actraiser that look so angry while shuffling you back and forth.

  4. This might be the most anticipated top list ever written! As time goes on i am starting to see that everything that i loved about gamesradar is slowly being removed and it seems like chris is pulling it out of the dumpster gamesrader left it in and transplanting it into the heart of lasertime.

  5. In my mind there are only a few articles i like more than this, one being your vast history on cases and the other cartridge colours. I think it would be awesome if you wrote a weekly article, it doesn’t even have to be a list. Just please do another without teasing it years in advance.

  6. Nice article! Or is that “Arhticle?” Anyway, I am looking over the box art article over at GamesRadar.com and I remember when I first read it. I loved it then and I love it now. Box art has always fascinated me and if I wasn’t a stupid kid who destroyed all my box art using it for my game cases, I probably would still have it now lol.

  7. Why the hell weren’t the mario 64 trees in here you could climb them! So that obviously means they are the best can you climb the deku tree; no you can’t.

  8. When I saw this sitting on the Laser Time front page (after downloading a podcast of the same name), my first thought was, ‘Wow, it’s finally been written. …Welp, better read it then!’

    1. (Could you kindly change my post to this screen name? Wasn’t paying attention and put down my actual name instead of trying to be funny)

      1. When I saw this article sitting on the Laser TIme homepage (after downloading a podcast of the same name) my first thought was ‘Wow, it’s finally been written. …Welp, guess I’d better read it!’.

  9. This caused a chain reaction of thoughts first wow this article mentioned about 2 years ago came into existence, then wow it was from the goodbye Tdar episode of laser time and finally would be awesome if you guys dug up the responses to Tdar and read them. Also good article kinda miss these top articles from back in the day.

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