Top Amazon releases for June 5th


“Naive earthling… shop through Laser Time, we implore you!” 

Shop the good shit, save some money, support the hellout of Laser Time!

BEHOLD! Laser Time is once again saving you time and money… in an effort to help you better waste time! Below you’ll find a highlighted list of new media releases on Amazon, deals on upcoming videogames and pre-order bonuses, and hey, a couple of fairly-priced comic books recommend by Cape Crisis. Better still, for you heartless skinflints who don’t want to Donate to Laser Time or buy a T-shirts, shopping Amaozn via our links below is the easiest way to show a little support for us. It costs you zero, and gives us a small commission. To get you started, we’ll even give one lucky commenter a $20 Amazon gift card just for playing along!


Inversion  360  |  PS3
Is this game finally out? I haven’t seen it since… shit, when I wrote up the WORLD EXCLUSIVE reveal for some magazine. How far I’ve fallen… speaking of falling, that’s what’s interesting about Inversion. It may look like a generic thrid-person Gears of War clone, but it throws a bunch of wacky gravitatinal anomalies into the mix. I remember seeing the hero fire himself across the sky with his assault rifle just like Wall-E did with a fire extinguisher, and cover is equally interesting. Duck behind every aspect of floating debris to avoid bullets while you cling to walls and ceilings in a way that makes this shooter the more like to running and gunning through an M.C. Escher painting than anything on the market. Put that on the box, Namco!


John Carter
Speaking of Wall-E! Yeah, it had a really dumb title, but I refuse  to believe Andrew Stanton’s failed adaptation of Burroughs source material is anywhere near as bad as its record-shatteringly poor performance would indicate. Folks I trust have simply reported back to me that it’s a little long, and not entirely “excellent.” Fuck the haters, I can’t wait to watch this one with a clear head


Breaking Bad: The Complete Fourth Season
Believe the hype! Breaking Bad is the best show currently on television. Other than Jesse’s personal strife, this series blasts through its 4th season with unrelenting intensity and the darkest of humor. Breaking Bad’s tone has always felt very similar to what I believe a Coen Brothers TV show would look like. Brooding characters and black humor punctuated by moments of horrific violence. Pick this show up!

Nintendo Selects: Pikmin 2
As E3 this week will probably make abundantly clear, the Nintendo Wii is pretty much dead. However, that doesn’t mean they won’t pinch off one remaining GameCube port before the burial takes place! At least it’s a good one, though. If it’s anything like the first Pikmin conversion, the game should take to Widescreen and the Wiimote like a redneck to meth.


Madagascar 3
You got kids? Well I don’t, so it’s really hard to find a reason to care about this one.

 

 


Act of Valor
I’m not one for modern war movies, so the only thing I know about this film is that it stars actual soldiers? Huh… that’s certainly an interesting cachet, especially if you’re one to care about that “Rah-Rah, America” stuff. Man, is that too dismissive? Somebody please tell me if this is worth watching.

 


Safe House
HUZZAH! Another forgettable Denzel Washington vehicle where her plays a character of questionable morality! (Wow… terriblky sorry for the uptick in unnecessary cynicism. It’s a light week for releases and I’m writing this on the road.)

 


Xbox 360 250GB Racing Bundle
POP QUIZ: Is your Xbox 360 missing anything?! If you said extra hard drive space and a useless plastic racing wheel, then man, has Microsoft gotcha covers. Smart Glass, it ain’t, but Forza 4’s nothing to shake a stick at.

 

UPCOMING VIDEO GAME AMAZON BONUSES – Pre-order and support Laser Time

Listed in order of release date

Resistance: Burning Skies  
-FREE with pre-order Multiplayer Booster to start your character at level 5
-FREE 3 Avatars, including RileyEllie, and a fearsome Chimera.
Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor  *NEW*
-Pre-order and get the Carbon Assassin Armory, which includes Savannah Armor and Storm Armor
Darksiders II  360  |  PS3  |  PC  
-Pre-order for FREE “Arguls Tomb” playable dungeon expansion
-FREE Deadly Despair Pack, a speed booster for your mount
Dirt Showdown  360  |  PS3 
-$10 in-store credit
Lollipop Chainsaw  360  |  PS3  
-Pre-order to add Juliet to your pinup collection and pop cherries with Rockabilly
Metal Gear Solid HD Collection (PlayStation Vita) 
-$10 in-store credit
The Secret World  
-Early game access, plus special beta access with pre-order
-FREE Loyal Pet Hound (offers protection and XP boost)
The Amazing Spider-Man  360  |  PS3  *NEW*
-Pre-order for FREE Stan Lee Adventure Pack DLC
Spec Ops: The Line  360  |  PS3  *NEW*
-$10 in-store credit
-Free upgrade to Premium pack and FUBAR Pack DLC with pre-order
Gravity Rush 
-FREE Military Costume DLC with pre-order
-FREE 4 Extra Missions, which include 2 Side Missions and 2 Challenge Missions
NCAA Football 13  *NEW*
-Free Nike Pro Combat premium uniform pack – Amazon exclusive
Silent Hill: Downpour  360  | PS3
-$10 in-store credit
Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor  
-FREE Carbon Assassin Armory, which includes Savannah Armor and Storm Armor with pre-order
Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy
-FREE gripped stylus and 17 stickers with pre-order
Kingdom Hearts 3D Dream Drop Distance *NEW*
-FREE AR cards that unlock exclusive in-game Dream Eater with pre-order
Sleeping Dogs  360  |  PS3
-FREE Martial Arts Pack, with Shaolin Showdown mission, Shaolin Warrior outfit (with increased striking damage), Bonus Triad XP points, and Wing Chun decoration for your safe house with pre-order
Madden 13 *NEW*
-Free  Andrew Luck Future Stars Draft Pick Madden Ultimate Team Card for immediate use in Madden 12
Borderlands 2  360  |  PS3  |  PC
-$10 in-store credit
Resident Evil 6  360  |  PS3
-Pre-order for FREE Exclusive Mercenaries stage – The High Seas Fortress 
Assassin’s Creed III  360  |  PS3  
-EXCLUSIVE: FREE Steelbook Case upgrade with art by Alex Ross
Hitman: Absolution  360  |  PS3  
-FREE Bartoli Custom Pistol, with built-in, high-spec sight and silencer to give excellent accuracy and an extremely high rate of fire with pre-order

CAPE CRISIS RECOMMENDS:


 

 

 

 


17 thoughts on “Top Amazon releases for June 5th

  1. John Carter is A LOT better than it’s theater sales would indicate, a must buy in my opinion. Kind of interested in checking out Inversion.

  2. I just spent $44 on graphic novels on amazon, of course clicking on one of the laser time ads to take me there first. I ended up picking up vol 1, 2, & 3 of American Vampire by Scott Snyder in hardcover.

  3. I definitely plan on giving John Carter a try at some point. It didn’t look amazing, but it certainly looked at least fairly decent, and seeing it become such a massive flop was rather sad.

  4. Ugh! I am so damn bad at remembering to use your Amazon link. Bought a bike this week and didn’t go through you. Only a $200 bike but I may have to toss you an $8 donation now to ease my guilty heart. It’s a 4% kickback in general isn’t is?

  5. i bought bit.trip saga through lasertime last week, and i still plan on getting a shirt the first check after june 20th! also CANADIAN LINKS TO AMAZON PLEASE!!!!

  6. I need to pick up the last two volumes of Scott Pilgrim and it seems rather fitting to do so through you guys.

  7. John Carter isn’t anything amazing, and it just tries too hard to be Avatar, but I still think its a decent watch. Its a solid 7/10 movie at least. 😛

  8. Is Breaking Bad better than The Wire? I can’t decide, I’m leaning toward The Wire but it’s close…

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