Poison Popcorn – Terrorvision

Terrorvision Medusa big boobs

Not too long ago, in a galaxy not too far away – this one, in all probability – a mucilaginous mound of sentient matter, that could well be the result of bungled attempts at splicing together the DNA of Jabba the Hutt and the thing from The Thing, is being jettisoned into the vacuum of space; as is the fate of all mutant blobs. After all, what could be more harmless than transmuting genetically unstable, malevolent matter into pure energy and sending it pinging off into the universe?

TERRORVISION (1986)
Genre: Comedy/ Horror
Director: Ted Nicolaou
Rated: R
Buy the VHS (Seriously)

As it turns out – a lot of things. Back on Earth, the Puttermans have just had a big, shiny satellite dish set up for their home entertainment system that has the most advanced remote of its kind, coupled with some hardware that no one really knows exists. And it was then that Shigeru Miyamoto had a new dream…

Terrorvision remote control
Together, Better.

Just before the parents head off to their Swingers party, Dad has a quick diddle with his dish and intercepts the monster in energy form. The family is too preoccupied with the array of channels its arrival unlocked to question what the fuck just happened, and share a moment watching dad and crazy old grandpa drooling over the nudey channel.

Terrorvision Puttermans

Everyone soon gets bored of that and the unit disperses, leaving Gramps and the young Sherman to bond over monster movies. This gives space monster the chance it was apparently looking for: using the little-known powers of mutant magic, it transmutes itself into a broadcastable satellite signal, undulating on television screens throughout the house.

Terrorvision alien monster

But eventually the voyeuristic thrill presumably wears off, and it begins to materialise in various rooms using the portal like properties of an 80’s TV. Sherman and Gramps are well prepared for the attack, what with Gramps encroaching into full-on nutter territory and turning into his bedroom into a fortified bunker complete with firepower and provisions aplenty.

Grandpa takes point, which in his pickled old mind means abandoning the boy for a few shots of spirits. That idea doesn’t quite pan out and ends up getting his face squished into pulp. Mum and dad arrive home whilst Sherman freaks out, but having scored at the party, they no longer possess any nurturing instincts and lock him in Gramp’s bunker with the alien, who has now developed the ability to sprout tentacles and John Carpenter the shit out of them.

Terrorvision

As the adults moisten up for the evening’s antics, daddy Putterman finds out that his butthole has been nominated as the first stop on the tour of the night, but he needn’t have worried, because the foursome are soon picked off before anyone gets a chance to start poking around.

Terrorvision Puttermans Swingers

Sherman finally breaks out of the bunker as his sister and her dumb as shit boyfriend get back. The monster has no trouble in keeping up the façade that the missing family members are, in fact, alive and well and all merrily bonking each other, whilst dividing the rest of its time between terrorising and befriending the children au naturel in another room.

Terrorvision Orgy

Will the children fall for the monsters ruse? Will they realise there’s no point holding a gun on a creature that’s impervious to bullets and hand grenades? Tune in to Terrorvision to find out.

Terrorvision alien monster

 

    We dare you to buy Terrorvision on VHS!

    Author Gamer Girl writes for FrontTowardsGamer.com and GamerGirlTalk.com. It is highly recommended you follow her on Twitter.
Previously in Poison Popcorn: ROGUE. See previous Poison Popcorns right fucking here!

 

 

 

 

 

11 thoughts on “Poison Popcorn – Terrorvision

  1. OH MAH GAWD!
    terrorvision! that theme song.
    that bed scene… guh!
    that movie really freaked me out as a kid.
    it’s silly now, but it had just the right amount of visual weirdness that i couldn’t sleep well for a good few weeks.
    that ending. O_O

    1. There was some great makeup effects through the movie. It’s one of those movies that’s just so dumb and so early 80’s that you have to watch it all the way through.

      Plus, Peter Cullen as the voice of the monster. TV! TV! TV!

  2. So…. ummmm… are these ever going to be more than the back of a box with hostility?
    There’s something to be said for actually reviewing it rather than just a plot setup.

    1. They’re on to me… o_O

      It’d have to be one big ass box to fit all that tripe on the back.

      It’s just poking fun at weird / crappy movies sans spoilers – the tag says shitty movies after all.

  3. Wow, thank you so much for this. I saw this on TV years upon years ago, and I never knew the name of it to find it again. I’m pretty sure it’s on Netflix.

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