See the week’s new releases, upcoming game deals, support your pals at Laser Time and win a $20 Amazon gift card!
Wow… It’s an incredibly scant release week, but we’re gonna give away a $20 Amazon gift card anyway! Below you’ll find a list of newly released games and movies, as well as a detailed list of upcoming video games with nifty pre-order bonuses and a list of comics recommended by Cape Crisis. If you’re not going to Donate to Laser Time (last week for a free keychain!) or buy yourself a snazzy t-shirt, the least you could do is shop Amazon through our links. Even if you don’t want the items highlighted below or on the right hand sidebar, clicking through our links into Amazon costs you nothing it kicks Laser Time the tiniest of commissions to help keep the show free. Simple and clean. Again, there’s not a whole lot of new stuff to pick through this week, so to compensate for the lack of items, I tried to make up for it with some HARDCORE DISNEY NERDERY! Either way, one lucky commenter will win his or herself a shiny $20 Amazon gift card. Happy shopping, folks!
Theatryhthm: Final Fantasy
Proving once again that they hate Google and store shelf alphabetization, Square releases a virtually unspellable title while burying its lead. I kid the game’s title! This could very well be the first physical 3DS game I buy in 2012 (Pushmo 4 life!) It’s not that there hasn’t been a some quality on Nintendo’s troubled handheld, it’s more so that the set-in-stone $40 price point hasn’t motivated me pick up anything after the glorious Super Mario 3D Land. But this? This I can get behind! It’s not a port of a console game, the touch-based rhythm action is perfectly suited for portable play, and most importantly, it’s a joyous, comprehensive piece of fan service for Final Fantasy lovers, who, let’s face it, are used to paying a premium. The game features songs, characters, and cutscenes from FF 1-13, and the fact that Japan has already gotten additional DLC might very well also make it the first game that I’ve purchased DLC for on a Nintendo console. These are truly exciting times!
God Bless America
I checked this out when it debuted On Demand (concurrent to its theatrical release) and I enjoyed it quite a bit. This always feel weird to say out loud… but here goes: As a director, Bobcat Goldthwait has one of the best track records in the buisness. No, seriously! Shakes the Clown, Windy City Heat, World’s Greatest Dad – these are all tremendously memorable, transcendentally dark comedies I absolutely encourage everyone to check out. (And yes, I unapologetically love Hot to Trot.) Bobcat’s jokingly called this a “liberal snuff film,” as it’s about a nice man pushed to ritualistically (hilariously?!) murdering Fox News pundits, spoiled teenage reality show stars, and anyone else making the world a meaner place. I didn’t love it anywhere near as much as the aforementioned films, however, Goldthwait has once again created something pitch black and unforgettable.
The Secret World
Is this finally seeing the light of day?! I swear, every goddamned week, it’s listed below on the “Upcoming Pre-Order Bonus” list as coming out “next week.” I promise that list is being updated, it’s Secret World that’s had the problem of seeing the light of day. Such is the case with many games in its genre though, so I’ll readily accept the game’s delays, since I’ve never been this interested in an MMO… well, ever? Part of the reason I can never get into MMOs is that I’m just not that into Fantasy. (Give me lasers and rifles over swords and wizards any day of the week!) But this thing is set in a more familiar, modern time, and instead of ancient runes and magic, it’s world is one where ever myth, urban legend and conspiracy theory is actually true! Once you get me imaging a bunch of Sasquatches battling the Illuminati, I suppose you could say I’m officially interested.
Wow, has it really been TEN YEARS already?! An entire decade since… oh, who am I kidding? I’ll bet none of you have seen this goddamned movie. Which, while understandable, is sort of a shame. Disney’s re-imagining of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island is a nice visual spectacle, albeit somewhat “Disneyfied” and formulaic. I can see why it’s been forgotten, but of all the films made during this forgettable period of Disney animation (See Brother Bear, Atlantis, and below) this is probably the best. And if I may go off on a tangent here, the film is pretty great evidence of why exactly The House of Mouse ended up buying up Marvel. Remember: Disney used to be Pixar. They didn’t make safe films for children, they made films for everyone. And during this rocky period in the company’s history, none of their animated fare were doing very well, let alone laying any foundation for future fandom, beyond the youngest of the young and little girls. This, and Atlantis, were costly long-in-development projects meant to capture the adventurous hearts of “The Boys” (and adults.) Unfortunately, they way overestimated the desire for both, by simultaneously mounting related TV shows, merchandise, video games and straight-to-video sequels for movies that would go on to outright bomb, lead to an enormous failure that took years to recover from. So when it came time to get the young males’ attention a decade later, what do they do? Fuck it, buy Marvel!
Home on the Range
Hello there, ONLY DISNEY ANIMATED MOVIE I’VE NEVER SEEN! I feel guilty for the gap in my Disney knowledge, but hey, it’s pretty much the most forgotten of the studio’s tentpole releases. Alas, the star power of Roseanne Barr and Cuba Gooding Jr. couldn’t save this poor film, and the failure of Disney’s “44th Animated Film” created the longest gap in its 2D theatrical output since the company started making animated movies, starting with Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, in 1937! Technically, it’s not the last 2D animated movie, thanks to a valiant, but somewhat unsuccessful return-to-roots with The Princess and the Frog. However, it is the absolute last Disney film to be made using traditional cel animation (i.e. pointing an IRL camera at drawings) and for that alone I think it’s a worthy footnote worth owning for animated collectors like myself.
UPCOMING VIDEO GAME AMAZON BONUSES – Pre-order and support Laser Time
Listed in order of release date
-FREE Military Costume DLC with pre-order
-FREE 4 Extra Missions, which include 2 Side Missions and 2 Challenge Missions
NCAA Football 13
-Free Nike Pro Combat premium uniform pack – Amazon exclusive
Silent Hill: Downpour 360 | PS3
–$10 in-store credit
Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy
-FREE gripped stylus and 17 stickers with pre-order
Kingdom Hearts 3D Dream Drop Distance
-FREE AR cards that unlock exclusive in-game Dream Eater with pre-order
Persona 4 Arena *NEW*
-FREE Persona 4 Arena Arranged Soundtrack based on the music of Shoji Meguro
The Last Story *NEW*
-Pre-order and receive a 44-page softcover Art Book in a special custom case
Sleeping Dogs 360 | PS3
-FREE Martial Arts Pack, with Shaolin Showdown mission, Shaolin Warrior outfit (with increased striking damage), Bonus Triad XP points, and Wing Chun decoration for your safe house with pre-order
-Free Andrew Luck Future Stars Draft Pick Madden Ultimate Team Card for immediate use in Madden 12
Far Cry 3 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order and receive Amazon-exclusive Warrior Pack.
Tekken Tag Tournament 2 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order for early access to two DLC characters, Angel and Michelle Chang plus the bonus Snoop Dogg stage
Transformers: Fall of Cybertron 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order for Bruticus (G2) to use in Single Player mode
Borderlands 2 360 | PS3 | PC
-$10 in-store credit
Dead or Alive 5 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order for a set of three ‘DOA Devils’ black bunny swimsuits for Christie, Tina, and Ayane
NBA 2K13 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order for access to NBA All Star Game content including the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest, Three Point Contest, Rising Stars Challenge Game, and the NBA All Star Game
Dishonored 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-Order for exclusive Backstreet Butcher Pack which includes Bone Charm bonuses for Fencer, Fire Water, and Blast Resistant plus an in-game Wolfhound Statue
Resident Evil 6 360 | PS3
-Pre-order for FREE Exclusive Mercenaries stage – The High Seas Fortress
Assassin’s Creed III 360 | PS3
-EXCLUSIVE: FREE Steelbook Case upgrade with art by Alex Ross
Hitman: Absolution 360 | PS3 -FREE Bartoli Custom Pistol, with built-in, high-spec sight and silencer to give excellent accuracy and an extremely high rate of fire with pre-order