The Best New Releases for December 4- THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

On the… something day of *insert whatever politically correct term you want here* Laser Time gave to you Blu-rays, games, pre-order bonuses, and money. Bam. Happy Holidays, nerds.

Tis the season for great Blu-ray releases, which is awesome for us because they make the best stocking stuffers. We’re pleased to see the game section is also a bit more filled out than the sorry offering of last week. The Dark Knight Rises AND Far Cry 3? Christmas is going to be good to us this year. It will be even better if you decide to donate or buy yourself/ a loved one a shirt from our store! If that’s too much for not enough reward then just do all your holiday shopping through our Amazon links. You have to buy shit anyway, might as well buy through us. Keep us rolling in the dough so we can push a little of that green back your way. Leave a comment below and maybe you’ll win a $20 Amazon Gift Card. That should help with some of that holiday shopping.


The Dark Knight Rises
What can I even say about this movie? Fucking buy it, losers. You know you need it. While you’re at it, buy a copy for a starving kid in Africa. Tis the season.

 


The Dark Knight Trilogy
What’s better than The Dark Knight Rises? The Dark Knight Rises + The Dark Knight + Batman Begins.

 

 


Far Cry 3  360  |  PS3  |  PC
My lust for this game has waned and grown sporadically since it was announced. Then Ubisoft released footage of all the animals and now obviously I need it. Of course I want to set tigers on my enemies. I’m human, aren’t I? The answer is probably.

 


Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn
Forward Unto Dawn was… surprisingly good. I’ll admit I didn’t expect much but for a live action movie based on a game it was impressive. It takes place when the future Captain Lasky is still at military academy. If you live and breathe for the Halo universe, this is a good look into the past as well as a lead up to the events of Halo 4.


Existenz
Cronenberg flicks are weird. Mr. Wilde has been trying to get me to watch this for a while. Now that it’s out on Blu-ray I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold off. If you’re a fan of movies fucking with your brain matter, this is probably something you’ll want to pick up.


Mass Effect Trilogy
Yes, I know this is already out for other systems, but this is the first time Mass Effect 1 has been available on the PS3. That’s pretty huge. If you’re like me and played Mass Effect 2 on the PS3 (my 360 was just stolen, don’t judge me) and had to go through the comic at the beginning you’ll know why this is so exciting. Now I can go back and restart the whole series! Again… WORTH IT.


Westerns Unchained
I love classic westerns so much. Horse chases, train robberies, old-fashioned shoot-outs… Westerns Unchained collects 25 classics into one delightful package.

 


Guardians of Middle Earth
Do you like MOBAs? Wanna play them on a console like they were never meant to be played? HERE YOU GO! Famous Tolkien characters in a battle arena setting. Merry fucking Christmas.

 


Hostel & Hostel II
Nothing screams holiday more than sweet, sweet torture porn. Wait. No. That doesn’t sound right. Oh well, the Hostel and Hostel II Double Feature will make a great gift for you and your sick friends. Strangely enough, these movies have nothing to do with my fear of hostels. Nooo, that stems back to my general dislike of other people being less than 20 feet away from me.


Comic Book Confidential: 20th Anniversary Edition
What’s better (but only by a little bit) than listening to us go on and on about comic books? Listening to the pros do it. Comic Book Confidential is a documentary all about the folks behind some of our favorite comics. Well worth it for those who care about the people who make magic happen.


Resistance Collection
All three Resistance games for the low, low price of $40. Actually not a bad deal. Sure, they aren’t the greatest games ever made but they sure are fun and, like I said, super cheap. If you don’t already have them now’s your chance to give them a try.

 


Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: Remastered Edition
I had never even heard of this movie before I added it to this list, but obviously it’s about to become my holiday tradition. Aliens abduct a couple kids and Santa Claus because they’re pissed their kids are watching Christmas specials? UH, YES PLEASE. My sincerest hope is that Santa ends up spreading Christmas cheer to the Martians via song. I’ll die happy.


Rapala Pro Fishing 2012
It’s a fishing game for the Wii U. What more do you want me to say? Ummm, there’s fish and I imagine the point is to catch them.

 

 


Cabela’s Dangerous Hunts 2013
And then there’s hunting. Kill all the animals on the Wii U. Somewhat more fun than Rapala Pro Fishing because these animals fight back. That almost makes it a real game.

 

SAVE ON UPCOMING GAMES AND SUPPORT LASER TIME

Hitman: Absolution  360  |  PS3
-FREE Bartoli Custom Pistol, with built-in, high-spec sight and silencer to give excellent accuracy and an extremely high rate of fire with pre-order
Far Cry 3   360  |  PS3
-Amazon-exclusive ‘Warrior Pack’
-$20 Amazon Instant Video Credit
Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse
– Pre-order Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse and unlock Evil Stewie and Evil Mayor West costumes
DmC: Devil May Cry  360  |  PS3
– ‘Bone Weapons Pack‘ and orb harvester character perk
BioShock Infinite
-Pre-order for access to Industrial Revolution, the Infinite themed, flash-based puzzle game
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance 
-Receive “Inferno Armor” for Raiden FREE and an increase in the maximum amount of throwing weapons such as grenades within his arsenal
Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time *NEW*
-Pre-order to get a Para Glider Skin and Seal Team Murray
God of War Ascension 
Pre-order and receive the Mythological Heroes Multiplayer Pack FREE
Dead Space 3  360  |  PS3 
-Pre-order for Limited Edition upgrade and two free suits and two free weapons
Crysis 3  360  |  PS3  *NEW*
– Pre-order and receive the limited Hunter Edition with day one multiplayer access to the predator bow, recon arrow, and more
– Free digital download for the original Crysis
Tomb Raider  360  |  PS3
– Pre-order for the Amazon exclusive Final Hours Edition, which includes an art book, an in-game skin for Lara, and a digital copy of Geoff Keighley’s “The Final Hours of Tomb Raider” for the Kindle Fire
StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm *NEW*
– Pre-order and get beta access
Gears of War: Judgment
-Pre-order for the Classic Hammerburst weapon and the Amazon-exclusive ‘Young Dom’ character skin for multiplayer
Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell Blacklist  360  |  PS3 *NEW*
– Receive the Upper Echelon Pack, which includes the Gold Glowing Goggles, the Upper Echelon Suit, and the Aral Sea Co-op Mission

CAPE CRISIS RECOMMENDS:

 

 

 

 

30 thoughts on “The Best New Releases for December 4- THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

  1. The only thing preventing me from preordering Bioshock Infinite is the all-too-great possibility that it will never be released.

  2. Every year my dad tries to get us all to watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I think I may be the only one to actually watch it with him and it was awful.

  3. Man, Far Cry 3. Didn’t have much interest in it until the reviews started pouring out and I decided to pay more attention to it. I… I think I have to buy it now. RIP free time and wallet.

  4. The Dark Knight Rises is all I want.

    Everyone will have different opinions and reactions, but for me, as soon as The Dark Knight Rises ended, I knew that it was perfect ending for the perfect film trilogy, not just a perfect superhero trilogy.

  5. I’m saving up for a new gaming computer bu the want for me to buy santa conquers the martians is unbelievably strong, I also would enjoy tiger people killing on hang gliders.

  6. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians sounds horribly awesome, definitely going to check it out, but possibly might try to find the MST3K episode with it!

  7. Wow. I’m a pretty big Halo fan but I was pretty much actively ignoring Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn. I’m impressed that Chris didn’t hate it. I might have to actually check it out now.

  8. Already exhausted my Dark Knight Rises blu, I love it so much. The last thing I have to watch is the Batmobile documentary (which I am currently watching as I type this) – it’s so great! Despite the inclusion of Joel Schumacher!

  9. My Dark Knight Trilogy pre-order has already shipped but now I think I need to order Santa Claus conquers the Martians cause WTF?! Also, maybe Farcry 3 for tiger maulings.

  10. Accidentally got excited when mistaking Hostel cover for a Graboid. Going to watch Tremor’s now then Halo Forward, I guess, sure.

  11. Forward unto Dawn is something im thinking about getting my father in law, super huge fan of the series he is, and i’m pretty sure he’s never heard of it. Looks like ima the Xmass hero.
    *hums i need a hero*

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