This Week’s New TV, Movie and Game Deals ARE GONNA WRECK IT!

Wreck-it Ralph, Tomb Raider and EVERY FREDDY MOVIE lead up this week’s bestest Amazon deals! Oh, and we’re giving away a $20 Amazon gift card…

Look at all this STUFF! Surely you can find something you like in the new releases, upcoming videogame pre-order bonuses and Cape Crisis comic book recommendations, no? Well, even if you don, we still encourage you to use any of those links below or on the right-hand side bar to enter Amazon and buy whatever you want. You don’t have to buy the specific item in the link, just browse Amazon like normal in the same visit and you’ll kick back a meager commission to Laser Time that helps keep the lights on. And that goes double for you skinflints who haven’t ever Donated and/or purchased a Laser Time tshirt! As a gift to you, we’ll give one lucky commenter below a FREE $20 Amazon gift card good for pretty much everything in the world. UR WELCUM!

It’s like a city, but simulated. Okay, I won’t lie, I’m super excited about this. As one of the few games my hoighty-toity, educationally minded parents would buy for me. I spent copious hours building and destroying haphazard metropolises, I feel like a goddamned super villain. That’s not an exaggeration, come to think. I would often build myself into a budgetless corner, then let the city burn to the ground (by leaving the game on while I slept) and then rebuild holy fucking empires from the ashes like a member of the League of Shadow! Oh… sorry. I know nothing about this, but Tyler talks about it plenty on this week’s episode of Vidjagame Apocalypse!

Wreck-It Ralph
Holy hell, am I the only one who didn’t think this would rule so goddamned hard? As an animation dork, I have more than enough reason to be skeptical of any of Disney’s output that doesn’t come with a Pixar logo. Just when the references and cameos seen in the marketing were starting to come off as pandering, thank The Good Lord, I went and saw the movie anyway. Damned if Rich Moore didn’t damn near pull off videogaming’s answer to Who Framed Roger Rabbit?! I shouldn’t have been so surprised. Watching the trailer again, I noted the cast slammed into my face with giant CG font. All incredibly gifted comic actors, all given above-the-title treatment. And rightly so, because casting appropriately is truly Pixar-esque. Sure, it’s got a great eye for nerdy detail, but I’m over-my-head happy that the films didn’t try and subsist on Sonic cameos alone.

Nightmare on Elm Street Collection [Blu-ray]
Oooooh shit! What a colossal treat! God damn, I love these movies as a kid. I’m glad we no longer have to talk about which one’s are good (Dream Warriors, BTW) and which ones suck (Freddy’s Dead is outrageously retarded). The franchise now stands proudly as a whole, my generation’s equivalent to Looney Tunes, and by that I mean an acceptable premise used as a springboard to display outlandish gags of violent glory. Even New Nighmare was Charlie Kaufman-esque before the world knew who he was! Better still, I held out on that standard-def set forever because it rarely dropped below $100. This sets set a steal at half the price

Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3
Ho boy, haven’t had to write about a Naruto game in some time… Let’s see if I still got it. Ahem, “Here’s another adequately handled helping of over-the-top fan service, with added minigames, modes, and an updated storyline concurrent with episodes airing in the US.” How’d I do?! Oh, there’s also something Nine Tailed Fox related on 3DS, too

Red Dawn
Fucks sake, does this movie have stink written all over it. The original Red Dawn is an astounding triumph of a film, but yes, only when viewed ironically, as a competent action film that’s not afraid to prey on feebl-minded fears and kill children in the name of spreading its message of Cold War xenophobia. It’s hilarious, and we can have it to thank for the PG-13 rating, which has been allowing unaccompanied minors to see brief glimpses of boobies and single-serving “fucks” for almost three decades. The remake has no reason to exist. I believe it was delayed to be retrofitted with a North Korean enemy to better mirror news headlines, postponed again due to MGM’s bankruptcy, then shelved a little longer for being terrible. Seriously, LOOK HOW YOUNG THOR LOOKS!

Tomb Raider  360  |  PS3
So very, very happy about the critical reception this game is getting. Tomb Raiders contribution to 3D gaming during the PlayStation Generation cannot be overstated. But the once eagerly anticipated sequels became annualized, the fanfare dwindled into laughter and revulsion. Tomb Raider as a franchise was a joke for so long, most people haven’t bothered to notice that the iterations for PS360 have been pretty damned stellar. That’s of course thanks to Crystal Dynamics, who, by all accounts, have rebooted Lara with astonishing flare. I was a little wary of the Uncharted-esque, quicktimey gameplay people were praising in previews, but apparently, the meat of the game is even better.

Karmasutra 3D
YES! Fuck everything else this week, I’m grabbing an armful of lube and enjoying acres of luscious milk mountains through the substantially dimmed glow of my 3D shades. You’re right, that’s an easy joke, and I probably shouldn’t have bothered. In terms of funny, there is nothing more hilarious than envisioning some poor dipshit jerking off to this on a laptop while wearing polarized glasses. If you’re going to be that guy, please tweet a picture to Laser Time!

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2
Man, early reports on this are a bit tragic. While I can admit the decision to release a sequel to a PS360 game on an under powered portable is a baffling one, I for one was excited as shit to play a straight-up handheld Castlevania. But it looks as if this 3DS game is undid a bit of goodwill brought upon by the fantastic Lords of Shadow, at least with several trusted critics. This is one of those buying decisions where I’ll on listen to the advice of three or four people I know personally. Fingers crossed…

MLB 2K13
Take me out to the ballgame! Take me out to the crowd! Crack the bat with the latest entry in MLB 2K series! The bases are loaded and YOU are the ammo! Updated with a new roster and enhanced features, only MLB 2K13 offers this year’s definitive Major League Baseball experience!


MLB 13 The Show
Take me out to the ballgame! Take me out to the crowd! Crack the bat with the latest entry in MLB The Show series! The bases are loaded and YOU are the ammo! Updated with a new roster and enhanced features, only MLB 13 The Show offers this year’s definitive Major League Baseball experience!

The Marine 3: Homefront
Awww, that’s so sweet. John Cena’s grown out of his own franchise, but he let his buddy Miz take up the mantle of a marine who probably kills things. Please don’t assume I’ve seen The Marine 1 or 2, but I really hope to see a third-world dictator get suplexed. If high fiction ain’t your thing, then wrasslin’ fans may want to check out the Brett Hart DVD that also came out this week.


BioShock Infinite
-Pre-order for access to Industrial Revolution, the Infinite themed, flash-based puzzle game
God of War Ascension
Pre-order and receive the Mythological Heroes Multiplayer Pack FREE as well as $10 promotional credit
Tomb Raider  360  |  PS3
– Pre-order for the Amazon exclusive Final Hours Edition, which includes an art book, an in-game skin for Lara, and a digital copy of Geoff Keighley’s “The Final Hours of Tomb Raider” for the Kindle Fire
StarCraft II: Heart of the Swarm
– Pre-order and get beta access
Defiance   360  |  PS3
-and get a Beta invite plus an Amazon-Exclusive Weapon The Plague Bringer Sniper Rifle
The Last of Us
– Pre-order and receive the Sights and Sounds Pack
Gears of War: Judgment
-Pre-order for the Classic Hammerburst weapon and the Amazon-exclusive ‘Young Dom’ character skin for multiplayer
Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate
-Pre-order the Wii U and 3DS version and save $20
The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct  360  |  PS3
-Pre-order for Amazon exclusive “Walker Execution Pack”, which adds multiple melee options to your arsenal, including a knife, kukri, hatchet, and machete.
Army of Two The Devil’s Cartel
-Pre-oder and receive $20 in-store Amazon cash
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoners: Soul Hacker
-Pre-order and receive the Devil Summoner: Soul Hackers Arranged Sountrack.
Injustice: Gods Among Us  360  |  PS3  |  Wii U
-Pre-order for $10 Amazon in-store credit
Star Trek
-Pre-order and receive the Elite Officer Pack, which includes the Stealth Pack – Kirk and Spock stealth uniforms, plus the Starfleet Type IV Stealth Sniper Rifle and extra ammo; the Brawler Pack – Kirk leather jacket costume and Spock Vulcan Science Academy uniform; the Kelvin Pack – Kirk and Spock USS Kelvin uniforms, plus USS Kelvin Hand Phaser; the Academy Pack – Kirk Academy Uniform, Spock Officer Dress Uniform, plus Academy Phaser; and the Kobayashi Maru Pack – Kirk and Spock Kobayashi Maru uniforms
Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell Blacklist  360  |  PS3
– Receive the Upper Echelon Pack, which includes the Gold Glowing Goggles, the Upper Echelon Suit, and the Aral Sea Co-op Mission






41 thoughts on “This Week’s New TV, Movie and Game Deals ARE GONNA WRECK IT!

  1. For what its worth Marine 3 is by all accounts the best of the trilogy. Other than that ive yet to see Wreck it Ralph and that baffles me cause i love pixar and video games.

  2. Wasn’t looking forward to Tomb Raider at all, but watching a friend play it, it might be worth a purchase…

  3. Really, really want to watch Wreck It-Ralph (still don’t know why I haven’t watched it yet).

    Tomb Raider is another game in the long list of 2013 games that I want to buy but can’t.

  4. Getting Wreck-it-Ralph as well as Tomb Raider today. Damn it though, so many releases are coming out within the next few months, my wallet’s gonna take a beating. But at least I’ll be getting good stuff with it. 🙂

  5. Damn, Wreck-it Ralph, Tomb Raider, and SimCity. Not a bad week. I’ll probably wait on the games, but I want to see Wreck-it Ralph again as soon as possible. That movie was so much fun.

  6. Wreck-it Ralph wax excellent & made me adore sarah silverman for once.
    Lol at The Miz in the Marine 3 XD
    & yeah, hoping the new Walking Dead game is as good as the TellTale one.
    Tom KUH-LANCY’S Splinter Cell.

  7. I played the Castalvania Demo, seemed kinda alright…. not like metroidvania or even the originals that I kept reading they were trying to replicate.

  8. I’ve been waiting for Wreck-It Ralph to come out on blu-ray for awhile. I’m hoping for a gay ol’ family viewing with my parents and brothers/wives soon.

  9. Good stuff this month. I’ll have to pick up Wreck-It Ralph, Tomb Raider, as well as preorder Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate. I’m not sure about about Castlevania though, the demo made it seem like it was meant to be played on an XL.

  10. I will be ordering Wreck-It Ralph, Tomb Raider, and Sim City for sure soon. I guess I know what links I am using to buy it from.

  11. I saw Wreck It Ralph in the theater but had to leave before the end of the movie. I can’t wait to finally finish watching!

  12. All the gushing Chris has done about Wreck It Ralph got to me and I ordered it a bit ago, looking forward to seeing how fun that is soon.

  13. Already purchased Wreck-It-Ralph! What an excellent film. Easily my favorite animated film of 2012 (Sorry, Brave and ParaNorman, you were good too, but I have to give it to Ralph).

    I’m far more interested in Tomb Raider and SimCity now than I ever intended to be. However, my heart is already filled to the brim with longing for Bioshock Infinite and Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon at the end of the month, so those two will probably have to wait until I can offer them some room.

  14. Karmasutra 3D

    “Dude, it’s like its cumming right at me”

    Seriously, there’s only one part of the human anatomy that benefits from the 3D treatment and it’s probably the last part I’m interested in.

  15. Man I’d love to get my hands on that Nightmare on Elm Street blu-ray set. Watching all that over the top silliness and gore in glorious HD would make for a helluva movie night.

  16. I already got Wreck-It Ralph and Red Dawn, but that 3D flick looks like some good, clean, family fun!

  17. Wreck it Ralph, but saving most of my money for Heart of the Swarm, and Injustice. Bioshock if i have stuff left, but I’m going to a Toronto Comiccon this weekend, so i’ll be a little strapped for cash.

  18. probably gonna have to pick up the naruto, wreck it ralph and sim city and i barely even play games anymore!

  19. No recommends for comics? Marvel has trades available on Kindle now and Annihilation is on there.

  20. I loved the openning three hours of Tomb Raider but now that I’ve gotten to the more “game-y” bit I’ve lost some of my wind. For as many times Developers say it as a bullet point, that intro really did play like a movie that you had controller over (minus the QTEs).

    Also why is it than when the guy is going to “rape” you if you don’t react he chokes you to death, I wish he would of just felt up Lara’s but and that would have triggered a Havok run death animation.

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