Vidjagame Apocalypse 26 – Annoy All Monsters


Giant city-crushin’ monsters are in right now, so why not devote a show to their greatest appearances in video games (and give kaiju expert Brett Elston a chance to wax nostalgic at the same time)? There’s also some talk of mysterious new PC releases, e-cigarettes for some reason, and a quick look at your favorite games of the year so far.

Question of the Week

If you had carte blanche to create your own kaiju game, what would it be?




Above: Incredibadass Mega SSJhog fanart by marktsedita.

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Theme song by Matthew Joseph Payne. Break song is super meat boy #2 by Tonetta. Haunting and beautiful New Releases Theme by David B. Cooper. Background NES-music compilations by WiiGuy309.

39 thoughts on “Vidjagame Apocalypse 26 – Annoy All Monsters

  1. QOTW: I would use the ultimate kaiju. Obese people. In a dark future, KFC reigns supreme, and one man must take on the worlds greatest threat. Obnoxious fatties. Blow up their fuel sources such as KFC and Mcdonalds and return these whales from the beaches of life to the dark from whence they spawned.

  2. Hipsters. Due to their inflated egos, their enormous heads are causing a massive disruption in the earth’s magnetic field.
    Your task is use whatever force nessecary to dispatch these lifeless husks of wasted human potential. Don’t worry about the cost, Uncle Sam is back you WITH 34 DIFFERENT WEAPON, 3 DIFFERENT CITIES, and most importantly, a base for your operations where you could relax inbetween mission. In your base you could tackle on our revolutionary social-sim amei lay to make friends, befriend bosses and kindle a romance or two.

    This game requires a mandatory subscription to the Game Publisher’s servers for just $49.99 a year.
    Also don’t forget to get our Season Pass for just $29.99! Which gives you a 8% discount on all future unnecessary DLC (that will probably be outsourced to incompetent studio).

  3. QOTW: The year is 2018. Giant Goats roam the earth, having destroyed the major cities and forced into humanity. You play as Hideo Kojima, humanity’s best, last hope for survival. Through your experience as the brains behind the Metal Gear franchise, you devise a convoluted, often non-nonsensical, but pays off in the end, plan to save the world.

    TLDR: a bunch of crap i made up at 2 in the morning

  4. QotW: I would like Toho to team up with the Ace Combat team to make a Rodan game, where you raze the land with your heat ray and destroy airbases, airborne helicarriers, and anything else in your way with supersonic flight.

    I feel that kaiju games should not be relegated to being slow, plodding, or terrestrial-bound.

  5. Call me boring, but I’d make a proper Pacific Rim game. That movie and that universe is SO damn fit for a good videogame that it’s a shame that what it came out for it was the usual licensed crap most movies tend to get.

    Instead, I’d make it a MASSIVE game, one which took it upon itself to expand the story of the Jaeger VS Kaiju war ever since the first Jaeger was created to fight them, up until the ending of the movie, in which in between you have years in which you can fill in the blanks with really inventive Jaegers coming from all these different countries, as well as a much varied selection of Kaiju species. And the combat system could maybe take a cue from Dark Souls, which is not combo-heavy, but instead, very deliberate in which choosing when to attack and how to attack is equally as crucial as defending and dodging, which each different Jaeger and Kaiju having up to two special attacks or weapons with a very limited amount of use, forcing you to make it count when used. That, and make use of the environment, being able to wield cars, ships or heck, even skyscrapers and weapons!

    BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! Apart from creating a vast campaign mode with pre-designed Kaijus and Jaegers, it would also feature a offline/online multiplayer mode in which you can choose to play either as a jaeger or a kaiju form the ones already created… OR MAKE YOUR OWN! With enough different a robust customization options, (and perhaps a randomized reward pack system similar to the one used in ME3, to keep people coming back for more) you could create any kind of robot or monster of your dreams, and wreak havoc against anyone that dares stand in your way!

  6. QotW: I’d just make a video game adaptation of Dragonmech.

    It’s a High Fantasy D&D setting where all the fantasy races pilot giant mechs to fight dragons from the moon.

    Dwarves piloting steampunk mechs with cannons and chainsaws. Necromancers riding giant bone golems. Elves controlling magically tree mechs. It’s pretty sweet.

  7. QoTW: The game starts after the events of Pacific Rim. Hundreds of sushi chefs have swarmed the streets to harvest the delicious Kaiju. Getting their brilliant taste, the Asian nations form together to breed more Kaiju, with their government’s leader’s hell bent on creating the world’s finest cuisine. The gameplay would be a mix between Gears of War and Cooking Mama, with the player fighting the Kaiju for TV shows where elite chefs combat baby kaiju, before serving them up to the judges, Iron Chef style.

  8. I love being small and helpless. so I immediately gravitated to Brett’s idea of being some regular dipshit in a city undergoing some kind of giant monster invasion. as for progression, a Last of Us inspired run-the-fuck-to-safety mechanic could give way to (hi Chris!) an Attack on Titan style grappling-melee system.

    I don’t need cannons, tanks, giant armor or any of that other bullshit, I want to feel small and ineffective at all times, making whatever victories you eventually score mean that much more when you get there.

    think Shadow of the Colossus in a modern setting, the difference being that your character is completely ill equipped to fight anything until several hours into the game, making the first portion more of a survival horror experience. running through a crumbling city, looking back on the skyline to a faintly visible kaiju slowly smashing it’s way in your direction, knowing there ain’t shit you can do about it except keep running.

  9. All monsters are based on old black and white monster movies, specifically those that used stop-motion effects so the art style is claymation-esque with King Kong going toe to toe with Ymir from 20 Million Miles to Earth, complete with over done cheesy 50s narration.

  10. Instead of a full game, I’d like to pitch a dlc idea. Animal Crossing: Nuke Street. It starts off with a giant monster stepping on your Animal Crossing home you’ve worked so hard on. Through some form of events, your character becomes 50 ft tall, and after being lead to believe that you’ll be catching Mothra with your net, you’ll be able to talk to the monsters and befriend them, leading you to building a house created from the remains of the destroyed cities and the monsters playing the part of your town residents. Tom Nook was also made kaiju size and is still an asshole.

  11. QOTW: A tower defense/rts game where you play as the poor bastard who has to plan the city defenses, and how to actually stop the kaiju. You could have options like sending out the police or army (the rts elements) or create city defenses like walls and turrets and such. It could be called something like 7 days since you only have seven tries to defeat the monster. If you succeed in defeating the kaiju you move on to the next week where you have to defend against a new kaiju (that is immune to so-and-so city defense), and the repair cost for the amount of destruction from the last kaiju attack you stopped will be taken out of your current budget to stop this one.

  12. I’ve watched the first few movies, and they still kinda hold up. The first one was the best of course. Some of the newer stuff is pretty sweet too.

  13. My first idea was a survival horror in a world already destroyed by monsters but that would just equate to quick time events avoiding the monsters feet. My new idea for an ideal monster game would be xcom mixed with civilization where the player must defend a world infested with monsters. In the over world you must build walls, minefields, missile silos, research cheesy laser tanks and rebuild your cities that were destroyed. The player would be pressured to expand to different continents to gather minerals and survive. But before you do that you must already have an impressive navy because the water is full of sea monsters. There could be different types of monsters too so their is no one method to be safe. When the monsters attack how much is destroyed is determined by the amount of defense you have and how long it took for the nearest military supply base to get there. If you defeated the monster destroys part of the settlement, fills up on tasty citizens and returns to the sea. If you are victorious you can use the remains to make mecha- versions of these monsters. Multiplier could also work too placing humans against monsters, but monsters work more like an rpg. They could control one monster or a small group of them and they gain more abilities the more cities they destroy and xp gained.

  14. I’d love a rogue-like structured Monster Hunter-style game with the Kaiju having burned the earth, and you would be leading a city decades later that needs to send scouts out to investigate what the world has become. I imagine going as far as you can out into the wilderness to gather resources and clues from roaming mid-sized monsters, and then high-tail it back to town if things get too hairy, because there would be perma-death.

    Certain, specific areas outside of town would be ideal targets for certain professions / classes (Mega Man Robot Masters-style), hence the need to alternate and level a few different classes at once, because those areas generate unique resources. You would expand the civilized world into areas as your town’s influence grows, accruing technology and weapons.

    Finally, once you tame this new world, and slay the biggest Kaiju in the land, and you finally feel safe, a huge wave of monsters descends upon your rebuilt civilization, and you need to make your stand. Hopefully you’ve gathered resources wisely to endure it as they begin to wreck all your hard work! They did something like this in the old Sid Meier’s Colonization game where the English would bring war to you after you declare independence with a huge, powerful army, and it was always a dreadful, far-off thought that in every game, forcing you to think both big-picture and short-term, something that’s missing from lots of games these days.

    Maybe the real monster ends up being man, I dunno, we’ll leave that up to the boys in marketing.

  15. Good to see the Duke back!

    great episode, my answer for QOTW would be “Giant Monster Dick Puncher” essentially you would be a giant monster who punches people in the dick.

  16. QOTW- I would pretty much make an Attack on Titan game, just swap the Titans with Kaijus, make it Dark Souls levels of hard, just you or maybe 3 man squad for dat jolly co-op.

    The weak spots may vary, but the momentum of your swings are essential to cutting into the weakspot, come in too slow and your sword just bounces off maybe even breaking the blade. Resource management of the gas for your 3D movement gear plus blade integrity and spares.

    Maybe, just maybe the MC could goes all Super Saiyan like Eren Jeager, not getting into details cuz of spoilers

    TL;DR- Attack on Titan feel – Titans + Kaijus + Dark Souls + Shadow of the Colossus + Just Cause 2

  17. OoH Ooh, i got it! So what happens to the monster after the monster movie when the are usually full of dangerous appliances and torn apart from human weapons. They go to the doctor! In monster doctor simulator 2014 you play Dr.Grogrogozirra, a normal human doctor with 30 story high clients. You must climb into your patient and fix all the problems that are wrong with him or her weather it be to disarm a bomb or clean its bladder. Since monsters can be any shape or size you are not limited to our anatomy,(extra organs and limbs) hell you could make up organs! “your patient is experiencing pain and a white discharge when he shoots eye lasers, go check out his eye laser gland. THe monsters would be FULL of the remains of the destroyed cities he ate, so there is opportunity for collectibles and new equipment

  18. Actually there already is an Attack on Titan game being worked on, set for sometime next year. Given how much humanity eats shit in that show I’m hoping they avoid the main cast and use some sort of permadeath feature. Someone dies, that’s it, they’re dead forever, play as someone else. Maybe give them some personality al la Valkyria Chronicles and Fire Emblem to make it sting that much more.

  19. QOTW: I’m gonna top all of you. KAIJU DATING SIM. You think this is crazy? I have one piece of evidence in my favor. A certain game called Hatoful Boyfriend, an AL (Avian Love) game. Oh, its real. It is the same Japanese High School story you guys know and hate, but everyone is a pigeon. Now, maybe I’m the only one who thinks this way, but a theoretical academy for Kaijus sounds kind of cool (though really big) and I would gladly take Mothra out on a date. Lastly, there can actually be real consequences. Everytime you the protagonist mess up with your partner, a major city gets destroyed! So don’t go breaking their hearts, or they’ll break a few skyscrapers.
    PS; for the Mothra route, just buy it lots of close instead of going out to dinner.
    PPS; don’t go for Godzilla while studying science, because we all know that is a BAD END.

    1. PPPS; an after thought= this game needs at least one Alien, either to play the character with delusions of grandeur or the loner. If you go for the Alien route, it has to mess with every other character.

  20. Am I the only person in the world that bought/played/loved RAD (Robot Alchemic Drive) for PS2? Phenomenal game with the best “giant robots vs. giant monsters” game mechanics to date (in fact I dug it out of my collection to give it a spin immediately after seeing Pacific Rim). There was a ton of truly unfortunate padding between the battle sequences but when the fists start flying and the buildings start toppling it was amazing.

    The giant robots you control had a very unique “marionette” control scheme, further complicated by the fact that your human character – the character controlling said giant robot – isn’t piloting the robot from within, but rather controlling it remotely Johnny Sakko-style from the ground, constantly scrambling for a good (and relatively safe) view of the combatants. So you basically had to swap between character control and giant robot control, having to often relocate your human character to keep him a safe distance from the brutal giant action. You definitely didn’t want to be standing on a building rooftop that ran the risk of being flattened and I learned the hard way that perching your character on your robot’s shoulder doesn’t play out well when your robot gets knocked down.

    So to answer the QOTW I’d say a RAD remake/sequel with little-to-no unnecessary padding and modern graphics/physics to better represent the robots, monsters and massive levels of destruction on display. Beyond that the original formula holds up remarkably well, which is why a modern/next gen remake/sequel would serve well, if only to draw attention to this otherwise lost PS2 gem.

  21. QOTW: I would love some Superhero (they could even make up a new super hero for the game) who fights Giant Monsters.

    I want to be a regular sized person yet powerful going up against many different Giant Monsters in lengthy epic boss battles.

    Perhaps your rated on how much of the city you save each time a monster attacks, to break up the gameplay you have to save/help the citizens after each attack.

  22. QOTW: I love the idea of having to make giant robots to fight Kaiju, so with Pacific Rim in mind, I would love a hardcore, super in depth management sim, where you are leading up the KDF (Kaiju Defense Force), paired with XCOM style combat. I think it would be fun to have to manage your pilots, the bots (think Armored Core level of detail as far as power management, weight, ect), upgrading your facilities to allow for more hanger space or bigger repair bays, and so on.

    Of course, just like XCOM, you would have to do all this while playing the politics game (I’m thinking a Mass Effect style conversation tree) and keeping the world council from pulling your funding. Maybe some months you would have to try and negotiate for funding, but the council wants to pull it to assist with a “Strengthen the infrastructure” style project (read as “IMA BUILD A BIG WALL, SCREW YOU ROBITS”)

  23. QotW: I guess I would make a rogue-like where you play as a kaiju trying to crush insanely hard to destroy cities that are constantly evolving new counter-measures to stop you, I suppose I would probably make a rogue-lite (ala Rogue Legacy) though since I would want people to eventually have the satisfaction of destroying that city. Nothing like tearing down the Kremlin or the Statue of Liberty or Golden Gate to make people be unable to stop playing.

    1. Will you go out of your way to destroy that football/ baseball whatever stadium? Do you have the skill to take out mecha- whatever the fuck kaiju you are playing as?

      Dang I actually think this sounds pretty cool, now I have to learn to make games! Thanks a lot guys.

  24. It’s not a kaiju game, but this show got me thinking about playing some Tech Romancer. I will definitely be digging out the Dreamcast this weekend. Mine just completed a lengthy system update. It’s yellow now.

    QOTW: Are there any good kaiju strategy games? I guess what I have in mind is more like a tower defense. You control the armed forces protecting a city from total destruction as a monster crawls out from the bay. You can route tracks and arm trains with canons, command tanks and other ground forces and order in air strikes. If you can hold of the monster long enough, an ally kaiju will arrive and cooperate with you, just be careful with him because it’s game over if all your buildings are destroyed.

  25. QOTW: This may not count (good start) but: you play as a goomba, high up in the goomba military, looking to take down a giant raging Mario as he rampages through the Mushroom Kingdom. Essentially an RTS type thing, you deploy piranha plants, thwomps, small groups of goombas and other enemies to take down the plumber.

    (Side note get a second player to play Mario, going through the level as “normal”, and BAM! Interesting competitive multiplayer. YES.)

  26. QOTW – it may not fit in exactly, but a Mario universe kaiju game woukd be amazing.
    Bowser finds a way to replicate the mega mushroom from the NSMB games, all the characters are huuuuuuge in a massive full destructible mushroom Kingdom beating the living shit putof each other.

    Seeing a Godzilla sized bowser destroying a city, fucking the toads up would look spectacular.

    Maybe it could work in the next next gen consoles

  27. I really liked Mike Grim’s description of his ideal kaiju game. It reminded me of a great little one shot comic called “beautiful death” by Mathieu Bablet. You should definitely check it out.

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