Think you know what’s going to happen tonight at SummerSlam? Prove it by testing your predictive mettle against Dave and make your mark on the next Cheap Popcast episode!
Hey all! If you haven’t heard the latest Cheap Popcast, I’m continuing the grand tradition of predicting the results of a pre-determined event! Last month, I got a mere 5-out-of-8 predictions correct, paling in comparison to H_E_N_E_R_E_Y_Gs_eviltwin, who got 7-out-of-8 victors right, including the single winners of the multi-man MITB match! He chose CM Punk’s original WWE theme, “This Fire Burns,” by Killswitch Engage… one of my favorite themes, to boot!
Wrestling fans like to think they’re in the know, and what better way to prove it than by testing your predictive mettle against me! Here’s how it goes. I’m going to make my predictions in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or in a rare case draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker. With Money in the Bank briefcases at play, I’m adding a new twist. If you predict a cash-in, and it doesn’t happen, you lose a point. If you get it right, however, you gain two! I think that should make things interesting. Or maybe I’ve scared everyone off from including a cash-in. We’ll see…
What does the winner get? Well, you can make your mark on the next Cheap Popcast episode by choosing the next show’s closing theme. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions and I’ll give you a shout-out before throwing to our episode-ender (sorry, Evil Hank, I’ll give you AND this winner a shout-out next time). Let’s kick off the predictions!
US TITLE MATCH: DEAN AMBROSE (CHAMP) VS ROB VAN DAM
RVD is part-time, and the US title (as great as Ambrose is as representing and defending it) is below him at this point. Some folks think this will be a shmozz to set up a tag title match later on. I hope not. Why waste the free show? Anywho, if you think that’ll happen and want to predict tag match results, knock yourself out, but I don’t count unnanounced matches in my tallies. Ambrose could use more build so I say Ambrose pins RVD.
NATALYA VS BRIE BELLA
Is Brie the one dating Daniel Bryan? I don’t care enough to look it up. That probably doesn’t even make her a face by proxy, but the Bellas are the stars of the Divas show while Natalya complains about her cat on the show. While that makes me cheer Nattie more, I still think she’s got a snowball’s chance in LA’s hellish heat. Brie pins Natalya.
CODY RHODES VS DAMIEN SANDOW
I know Rhodes is technically a face now, but I ain’t feelin’ it. He needs a true push to make that happen, and step one is Cody going over to get his revenge and move closer to main-eventing (on Smackdown). Rhodes pins Sandow.
MIXED TAG MATCH: DOLPH ZIGGLER AND KAITLYN VS. BIG E LANGSTON AND AJ LEE
This is the first time Langston and Ziggler are facing off in a PPV match, and while I was hoping it’d be a one-on-one contest, I can roll with this. Kaitlyn and AJ are heads and shoulders above the rest of the Divas, and a weird finish will allow Langston to pin Ziggler in a way that Ziggler can come back to get his win back next month or move back up the card. Langston and AJ win.
RING OF FIRE MATCH: KANE VS BRAY WYATT
After his crazy build, it makes no sense for Wyatt to lose his first match (in this gimmick). I also like the idea of Kane losing, taking some time off, and showing up with a crazy backwoods beard (read: not this kind) as a Wyatt family member to fight against Bryan again. Wyatt wins..
WWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: ALBERTO DEL RIO (CHAMP) VS CHRISTIAN
Everything says that Christian SHOULDN’T win tonight. He’s went over ADR a number of times over the last month, and his brief 2011 runs make me think higher-ups don’t see him as main-event material. That’s sad, because Christian’s probably my favorite guy in the WWE right now. Heck, strictly for my fandom, I’m going to say Christian wins the title… but I’m also going to be realistic and say he suffers from another short reign as Sandow cashes in and wins the title.
CM PUNK VS BROCK LESNAR
This is a toughie. Lesnar’s, what, one win over .500 right now? He should probably go over. Yeah, Punk’s pretty bulletproof, and if Lesnar’s going to go onto bigger things for next year’s WrestleMania, he needs to be more dominant. Lesnar makes Punk tap.
WWE TITLE MATCH: JOHN CENA (CHAMP) VS DANIEL BRYAN
Given his popularity, there’s nobody on the roster as red-hot as Daniel Bryan. He’s almost as over as Punk was two years ago. Of course, WWE fumbled that one for awhile, and the presence of Triple H in the match as he was back then is worrisome too, but I’m putting faith in the WWE to put the best wrestler in the top spot for the first time in awhile. Bryan pins Cena to win the title in a 24:30 match.
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Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, (including the Cena-Bryan running time) as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!
Ok here I go:
Ambrose beats RVD
Nikki Over Natalya
Sandow beats Cody
Ziggy and Kaitlyn beat AJ and Big E
Wyatt over Kane
Lesnar over Punk
And I really want Bryan to win, but my trust in WWF is not the same as it was so… Cena over Bryan (I really hope I’m wrong in this one)
Ambrose pins RVD.
Bella pins Natayla.
Sandow pins Cody.
Christian pins Del Rio, Sandow cashes in.
Bray Wyatt pins Kane.
Punk wins via disqualification, interference by Curtis Axel.
Bryan has Cena in the Yes! Lock, Triple H pulls a Survivor Series ’97 and calls the match as if Cena tapped, even though he didn’t.
1. RVD pins Ambrose
2. Natalya pins Brie
3. Sandow pins Rhodes
4. Langston and AJ win
5. Kane wins
6. Del Rio wins
7. Lesnar wins
8. Bryan wins in 28:00
Adam, Magnifico, don’t forget to reply with the main event runtime! It’s the tiebreaker, and I don’t do Price is Right-style “guessing too high is an automatic loss,” so any time beats none!
RVD pins Ambrose
Brie pins Natalya
Rhodes pins Sandow
Dolph pins Langston
Bray Wyatt pins Kane
Del Rio makes Christian tap out
CM Punk defeats Lesnar by DQ
Daniel Bryan pins John Cena in 30:00
Randy Orton attempts cash-in but Bryan makes Orton tap out.
Ambrose over RVD
Brie over Nattie
Rhodes over Sandow
Dolph/Kaitlyn over Big E/AJ
Wyatt over Kane
Christian over Del Rio (Sandow cashes in)
Lesnar over Punk
Bryan over Cena 29:00
Going 2 for 2!~
– US TITLE MATCH: DEAN AMBROSE (CHAMP) VS ROB VAN DAM
This may be considered a dream match for the hardcore fans out there, including myself. Mr PPV needs to bring some cred back to this low-card title.
Rob Van Dam pins Ambrose
– NATALYA VS BRIE BELLA
Brie Bella pins Natalya
– CODY RHODES VS DAMIEN SANDOW
Sandow’s been getting dogged throughout the feud, it’s only right that he gets redemption to elevate his character.
Sandow pins Rhodes
– MIXED TAG MATCH: DOLPH ZIGGLER AND KAITLYN VS. BIG E LANGSTON AND AJ LEE
I agree with Rudden, wish this was a one-on-one match, but if i had to pick…
Big E Langston and AJ Lee
– RING OF FIRE MATCH: KANE VS BRAY WYATT
Really cool to see this match brought back, and will be a good debut for Bray Wyatt. And Kane’s good at putting over newcomers so its only fitting that:
Wyatt defeats Kane
– WWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: ALBERTO DEL RIO (CHAMP) VS CHRISTIAN
Since his comeback he’s been on fire and he’s getting one… more… match. Hoping for a clean win and to not finish the match with a spear.
Christian pins Del Rio [No Sandow cash-in]
– CM PUNK VS BROCK LESNAR
BAH-ROCK LES-NAR has just been losing too many matches. This is his time to go over. Lesnar pins Punk
– WWE TITLE MATCH: JOHN CENA (CHAMP) VS DANIEL BRYAN
I’d be lying if I said this isn’t one of the biggest matches of the year, and it is… I’ve been telling friends way back that D-Bry’s time is soon, and it’s finally come. Kinda wish Trips wasn’t in this match but should still be solid overall. My guess…
Bryan defeats Cena, whether it be by small package or *gasp* tapping, in roughly 26:15 minutes.
Then… Orton to cash in the MITB!
http://youtu.be/-cHOgbRKTu0
Ambrose pins RVD
Brie beats Natalya, as much as I hate to predict that one.
Sandow pins Rhodes, prepares for the Money in the Bank cash-in.
Dolph beats Big E. I doubt that match will end with the Divas, it’s pretty much a one-on-one.
Bray Wyatt to defeat Kane.
Del Rio gets Christian to tap. He’ll have One More Match next month.
Punk beats Lesnar by DQ.
Daniel Bryan wins by YES-lock. I give it 34 minutes.
1. Ambrose beats RVD
2. Brie beats Natalya
3. Sandow beats Rhodes
4. Ziggler and Kaitlyn win
5. Wyatt beats Kane
6. Christian beats Del Rio
7. Punk beats Lesnar
8. Bryan makes Cena tap in a 27:15 match, then Orton cashes in but Bryan beats him
RVD beats Ambrose
Brie beats Natalya
Sandow beats Rhodes
Ziggler and Kaitlyn beat Langston and Lee
Wyatt beats Kane
Christian beats Del Rio, Sandow cashes in but loses to Christian
Lesner beats Punk
Bryan pins Cena in 28:42
RVD wins via DQ
Nattie via submission
Dolph/Kaitlyn win
Cody via pinfall
Wyatt via pinfall
Christian via pinfall
Punk via pinfall
Bryan via pinfall in 27:39, Randy Orton cashes in
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5p7ZmCvi0A
Damn it Dave, now I have to watch the Summer Jam
Ambrose beats RVD
Bella beats Natalya
Sandow beats Rhodes
Langston and AJ beat Dolph and Kaitlyn
Wyatt beats Kayne
Del Rio beats Christian
Lesnar beats Punk
Bryan beats Cena
For Bryan/Cena I say the match lasts 22:46
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UoChk5pZIQ
I apologize for my song choice
1. Ambrose pins RVD, not clean though.
2. Schmoz rolls in from pre show, Natalya wins by DQ
3. Sandow needs to win this feud to be taken seriously. If they play there cards right both men can be in the main event. Sandow pins Rhodes.
4. This match could be good but won’t be. Ziggler doesn’t really need the win. AJ beats Kaitlyn by submission after Layla interference.
5. Wyatt wins so Kane can go film See No Evil 2.
6. It would be nice for Christian to win but he’s been successful on Smackdown!. Del Rio wins by submission.
7. Lesnar kinda needs to win but it would be illogical for Punk and Heyman to suddenly coexist. Brock is on his way out until Rumble. Punk pins Lesnar and gets revenge on Heyman.
8. Bryan pins Cena with Help from Triple H in 29 minutes, only to be pedigree’d. Orton Cashes in and beats Bryan, celebrates with Triple H to end the PPV.
Ambrose gets DQed because The Shield, Big Show and Henry come out and it turns into a six man tag, The Shield still win but Big show, Henry and Van Dam all hit their finishers on the shield.
Brie pins Natalya
Sandow Pins Rhodes
Ziggler and Kaitlyn Win via a pinfall from Ziggler because Kaitlyn Speared Langston. AJ Walks out on Langston
Wyatt beats Kane
Christian Wins because of Ricardo, Holds the title until Survivor Series
Lesnar Wins but Punk has the last laugh as puts the GTS on Heyman
Bryan makes Cena tap out in a clean win. Orton comes out and RKO’s Bryan but Triple H stops him from cashing in Orton gets angry and tries to attack Triple H, Triple H Pedigree’s Orton while Vince and Maddox watch on in Anger. Triple H helps Bryan up and raises his hand in Victory just to rub it in a little more. Cena gets Elbow surgery and we don’t see him till January
Song: The Man with a Plan: The Brian Kendrick theme song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5M5ntsIbJ9I
I stopped watching wrestling, but I still enjoy this podcast.
Remember when Mae Young gave birth to a hand?
http://i.imgur.com/620fmex.png