Correctly predicting WWE results can be hell, but do you have what it takes to win at Hell in a Cell? Prove it by testing your predictive mettle against Dave and make your mark on the next Cheap Popcast episode!
Hey all! If you haven’t heard the Summerslam Cheap Popcast, I’m made a monthly tradition of predicting the results of a pre-determined event! The reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of our Hell in a Cell-themed episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of the Ballegrounds predictions. Even with the cluserfuck of a main event that nobody could have predicted, I still did pretty poorly, going 3-for-8. True to form, the winner of the predictions pick-em is just as crazy as the main event. A mysterious user going simply as “Ryan,” went 7-for-8 INCLUDING the main-event no contest, but he didn’t include a song. I emailed him about it, so we’ll fit that in during the break if he gets back to me. KeatonDC went 6-for-8 and won the tiebreaker, choosing “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes’ theme, so that will close the episode.
Here’s how it goes. I’m going to make my predictions in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling risky a rare draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker. A housekeeping note; I’ve removed the Money in the Bank point-system, due to the potential for confusion (plus, just tallying results is enough math for me). Go ahead and predict a cash-in if it behooves you (or to explain your reasoning for a pick), but you won’t gain or lose points for getting it right or wrong.
What does the winner get? Well, you can make your mark on the next Cheap Popcast episode by choosing the next show’s closing theme. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out before throwing to our episode-ender. Let’s kick off the predictions!
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: CURTIS AXEL (CHAMP) VS BIG E. LANGSTON
If there’s as good a time as any to end the “Axel as IC Champ” experiment, it’s here. Big E is hot off a face turn, so putting the strap on him would push him even further (plus legitimize the belt even more). Langston pins Axel.
DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: AJ LEE (CHAMP) VS BRIE BELLA
Brie’s getting better, but I still think AJ needs a bit more time with the belt to continue things, so AJ makes Brie tap. Again.
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE RHODES BROTHERS (CHAMPS) VS THE USOS VS THE SHIELD
Poor Usos. Another title shot they won’t capitalize on. The Rhodeses are too hot as a team right now to cut down with a loss, so I say The Rhodes Brothers win.
HELL IN A CELL HANDICAP MATCH: CM PUNK VS RYBACK AND PAUL HEYMAN
Oh-kay, the expiration date for this feud is fast-approaching. Unless there’s some Lesnar-focused chicanery to extend this, I see no reason to keep the chase going, so I say Punk wins.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ALBERTO DEL RIO (CHAMP) VS JOHN CENA
Psh, John Cena holding the second-most-important WWE belt? Ain’t gonna happen. Cena will put in some offense, but ADR will pull some sort of arm-related cheat in order to keep his title. Cena’s potentially-reinjured arm goes onto main event Raw for the next month. Alberto Del Rio wins.
LOS MATADORES VS THE REAL AMERICANS
I’m not happy that Cesaro’s gonna lose on Pay-Per-View again, but I hope he gets to do some sort of insane feat of strength. Giant-swinging both Matadores simultaneously? Spinning Torito on his finger like a baskeball? Regardless, I’ll enjoy that more than seeing Los Matadores beat The Real Americans.
HELL IN A CELL WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: RANDY ORTON VS DANIEL BRYAN (SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE SHAWN MICHAELS)
I stand by Bryan-Punk at Survivor Series (maybe Bryan-Cena-Punk), so Bryan needs to finally win the big one. There’s plenty of red herrrings (Shawn turning, Big Show turning), but I saw the WWE swerves us yet again by giving DB the clean win. Bryan pins Orton.
Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, (including the Bryan-Orton running time) as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!