Cheap Predictions: Pick WWE TLC 2013 results and win!


Put a little tender loving care into your TLC 2013 predictions and you could get your choice of wrestler theme closing out the next Cheap Popcast. Read on for Dave’s picks and then make yours!

Hey all! If you haven’t heard on Cheap Popcast lately, I’m made a monthly tradition of predicting the results of a pre-determined event! The reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of the Survivor Series predictions. As a pretty predictable event, my choices were in line with what actually happened, and I went 7-for-7. Hurrah! Great minds think alike, as TheMantista also picked a perfect card (though I had a closer main-event time, so I win overall!). He picked a classic, so Too Cool‘s theme will close our final Cheap Popcast of 2013.

Here’s how the prediction contest goes. I’m going to make my picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling risky a rare draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker.

What does the winner get? Well, you can make your mark on the next Cheap Popcast episode by choosing the next show’s closing theme. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out before throwing to our episode-ender. Let’s kick off the predictions!


DOLPH ZIGGLER VS FANDANGO
Can you believe just one year ago Dolph Ziggler actually beat John Cena in the main event at TLC 2012? How the mighty have fallen. I don’t see his star dropping any further, and I can’t remember the last time Fandango won a match that aired on national television, so I say Dolph pins Fandango..


IC CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: BIG E LANGSTON (CHAMP) VS DAMIEN SANDOW
While I’m looking forward to this card, allow me to lob my first of two major complaints. Uh, where are all the TLC matches?! Sure, we’ve got the main event, but would it hurt to have a tables or chairs match? For example, if this was a tables match, you could play off the fact that Sandow might try to outsmart Langston, making the outcome at least a little mysterious. As it is, I say Langston pins Sandow.


TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE RHODES BROTHERS (CHAMP) VS THE REAL AMERICANS VS RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL VS REY MYSTERIO & BIG SHOW
Heeeere’s my other complaint; while the Rhodes bros have done no wrong since taking the tag straps, I liked their battles against standard tag teams. Where are the Usos and Prime Time Players? Heck, I’d take the Matadores and 3MB. Instead, there’s two groups that have literally just started tagging in the last month. Neither of them has a chance (though I’m holding out that Antonio Cesaro is able to giant swing Big Show, as long as Show doesn’t fuck up the spot like he did last month). I think we start to see the seeds of a Rhodes feud start here, so my pick is for Cody and Goldust to lose the titles. Real Americans win.


3-ON-1-HANDICAP MATCH: THE SHIELD VS CM PUNK
I’m really looking forward to seeing how WWE makes these handicap matches logistically interesting. The path seems a bit clearer for this one, as The Shield has been showing cracks lately. It makes sense to start their breakup too, so a miscommunication will lead to a CM Punk win.


3-ON-1-HANDICAP MATCH: DANIEL BRYAN VS THE WYATT FAMILY
The way the crowd went apeshit for Daniel Bryan at the end of Raw, you’d think the WWE would do their best to integrate him back into the main event ASAP. Unfortunately, that likely won’t happen, given his treatment as of late. The last thing WWE should do is align him with a heel faction, but they seem determined to shoehorn the crowd’s favorite wrestler with a too-serious group. I think Bryan wins, but the Wyatts abduct him to sideline Bryan from the main event a little while longer.


DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: AJ LEE (CHAMP) VS NATALYA
While both AJ and Nattie are good competitors, I’m starting to get tired of the Total Divas and “others” facing off month after month. Nobody besides AJ seems capable of holding the title, and a new year is the perfect time to start bringing up NXT’s stellar women’s division, so I say AJ wins.


TITLE UNIFICATION MATCH: JOHN CENA (WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP) VS RANDY ORTON (WWE CHAMP)
If you told me a few months ago that I’d be excited for a Cena-Orton main event at the end of the year, I’d tell you WWE would have to do something outrageous like unify the titles. I’m slightly interested to see what they do here, as I’m still not sure the WWE do something this historic on an off-month PPV with the Royal Rumble and Road to Wrestlemania on the horizon. WWE keeps promising a unification, but I still don’t see it, so I predict a draw at 19 minutes. It’ll be more along a “each guy grabs one belt” shmozz than “Big Show punches everyone” clusterfuck, but it’ll be a draw nonetheless.

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Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, (including the Cena-Orton running time) as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!

18 thoughts on “Cheap Predictions: Pick WWE TLC 2013 results and win!

  1. Fandango to beat Dolph Ziggler

    Langton to retain against Sandow

    Team Real Americans win thanks to face mis-communication over the Rhodes Bros

    The Shield beat CM Punk but some incident in the match means Roman Reigns spears Dean Ambrose after the bell.

    Bryan beats the Wyatts. Gets attacked by Kane and then abducted by the Wyatts.

    AJ Lee retains in the empty bladder match.

    Cena vs Orton will go to a no result. Expect to see HHH with the belts in his hands after 21 minutes.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KikWIVx_ANs

    1. Also, while I usually agree with you Dave, I really can’t see them going with another no winner situation. They’ve been going in so hard with “guaranteeing” there’ll be a new champ that I can’t imagine them not doing it. I think HHH will end up being the one to take it though, it just seems to me that they’re hinting at that pretty strongly, and it’ll give more credibility to the “authority” storyline he loves to make himself the center of attention in.

  2. Ziggler.
    Langston.
    Rhodes brothers.
    CM Punk wins because Ambrose is a dick.
    Wyatt Family wins and abducts Bryan.
    AJ wins and goes on to break record for longest Diva reign.
    Cena becomes unified champ. I just can’t imagine them being dumb enough to have a bullshit ending again. They’ve got to pick one.

  3. 1. Dolph wins
    2. Big E wins
    3. WWE doesn’t care about tags and the Rhodes are over, so it’d be very foolish to take the belts off them. Real Americans aren’t over and neither are Rybaxel. The only way Rhodes’s lose is if the WWE wants Rey to have title for a bit, seeing as he can’t win a singles title at this point. That being said, he doesn’t have a Cena sized ego where he must win a major title immediately upon return. Rhodes brothers win.
    4. Something has to give with the Shield but I’ll still peg them to win. Didn’t Cena already beat these guys in a Gauntlet once? Shield wins.
    5. Bryan is my pick for the rumble match and given the crowd reaction at Raw and the fact that Cena’s back, Bryan wins.
    6. Aj wins, and hopefully Paige gets the call up ASAP.
    7. They’re going to switch belts in this match, with Orton becoming World Champ so Cena can be WWE champ. Non-finish in 25 minutes.

  4. 1. Dolph wins
    2. Big E wins
    3. WWE doesn’t care about tags and the Rhodes are over, so it’d be very foolish to take the belts off them. Real Americans aren’t over and neither are Rybaxel. The only way Rhodes’s lose is if the WWE wants Rey to have title for a bit, seeing as he can’t win a singles title at this point. That being said, he doesn’t have a Cena sized ego where he must win a major title immediately upon return. Rhodes brothers win.
    4. Something has to give with the Shield but I’ll still peg them to win. Didn’t Cena already beat these guys in a Gauntlet once? Shield wins.
    5. Bryan is my pick for the rumble match and given the crowd reaction at Raw and the fact that Cena’s back, Bryan wins.
    6. Aj wins, and hopefully Paige gets the call up ASAP.
    7. They’re going to switch belts in this match, with Orton becoming World Champ so Cena can be WWE champ. Non-finish in 25 minutes.

    Theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on-3UuIFxg4

  5. Ziggler pins Fandango
    Langston Pins Sandow
    Rhodes Brothers Win (They’re split and title loss can happen at the Rumble)
    CM Punk Pins Dean Ambrose after Reigns and Rollins walk out on him.
    Bryan wins over the Wyatt family.
    AJ Pins Natalya
    Orton grabs the WH Title and Cena grabs the WWE Title in a really good match that lasts 34:50

    Theme: John Morrison http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnc8QXW67K8

  6. 1. Ziggler pins Fandango
    2. Sandow pins Langston
    3. Rhodes Brothers retain titles
    4. Punk wins (pins Reigns)
    5. Wyatts win vs Bryan (setting Bryan up to win the Rumble and win at wrestlemania)
    6. Natalya wins via submission AJ
    7. Cena and Orton ends in a no-contest after 26 minutes, it ends with HHH holding the belts until the next ppv (no way they let the whole unified thing just end after a month buildup)

    Theme: NWO Wolfpack http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-7C9TEI47A

  7. 1. Dolph wins
    2. Sandow is victorious
    3. Ryback and Axel somehow win
    4. Shield beat Punk
    5. Wyatts beat Bryan
    6. Natalya wins
    7. Orton uses some sort of cheap tactic to beat Cena

  8. 1. Fandango wins – Creative still hates Dolf

    2. Big E wins – Langston is Cena’s favourite rookie so he wins now

    3. Real Americans win – I think they’ve finally realized that Cesaro is the new wrestling god. I’m hoping for his UFO spin tonight. preferably on Goldust

    4. Punk wins – Shield have a spat, Reigns spears Rollins, Punk makes Ambrose go to sleep

    5. No contest/everyone gets counted out – I think there’ll be some back stage craziness for this one.

    6. Natalya wins – This will make for a horrible episode on Total Divas

    7. Super Cena wins – Cena drinks a full canister of ooze, is portrayed by Kevin Nash and flies up to grab the belt…. BABIES!!!

    Sexual Chocolate *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IWcCBOluUY

  9. -DOLPH ZIGGLER VS FANDANGO
    Ziggler’s fallen off since last year… smh… still
    Ziggler pins Fandango

    -IC CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: BIG E LANGSTON (CHAMP) VS DAMIEN SANDOW
    Big E just needs 5
    Big E pins Sandow

    -TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE RHODES BROTHERS (CHAMP) VS THE REAL AMERICANS VS RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL VS REY MYSTERIO & BIG SHOW
    Tag division’s on fire, should of had the Usos in this to make it an even better match though, instead of Mysterio and ‘Show
    Rhodes Brothers retain.

    Going against the grain on the Handicap matches:
    -3-ON-1-HANDICAP MATCH: THE SHIELD VS CM PUNK
    Shield beat Punk

    -3-ON-1-HANDICAP MATCH: DANIEL BRYAN VS THE WYATT FAMILY
    Wyatt Family beats DBry

    -DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: AJ LEE (CHAMP) VS NATALYA
    Total Divas is a hit, Natalya winning gives more to the 2nd season to come up
    Natalya beats AJ Lee [submission?]

    -TITLE UNIFICATION MATCH: JOHN CENA (WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP) VS RANDY ORTON (WWE CHAMP)
    Rudden, I approve of your smarkiness but I don’t believe in a draw… too much build up to say so, the one heavywight title will change the scene for stonylines next year and make it interesting. In a dream world, HHH or DBry would grab the titles but I’m gonna say…
    Cena beats Orton @ 25 mins

    http://youtu.be/dl3zaFCTHZE

  10. Here is your winner, and still the Cheap Popcast predictions champion, TheMantista!

    Betting on Ziggler hurt a lot of you.

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