Put a little tender loving care into your TLC 2013 predictions and you could get your choice of wrestler theme closing out the next Cheap Popcast. Read on for Dave’s picks and then make yours!
Hey all! If you haven’t heard on Cheap Popcast lately, I’m made a monthly tradition of predicting the results of a pre-determined event! The reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of the Survivor Series predictions. As a pretty predictable event, my choices were in line with what actually happened, and I went 7-for-7. Hurrah! Great minds think alike, as TheMantista also picked a perfect card (though I had a closer main-event time, so I win overall!). He picked a classic, so Too Cool‘s theme will close our final Cheap Popcast of 2013.
Here’s how the prediction contest goes. I’m going to make my picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling risky a rare draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker.
What does the winner get? Well, you can make your mark on the next Cheap Popcast episode by choosing the next show’s closing theme. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out before throwing to our episode-ender. Let’s kick off the predictions!
DOLPH ZIGGLER VS FANDANGO
Can you believe just one year ago Dolph Ziggler actually beat John Cena in the main event at TLC 2012? How the mighty have fallen. I don’t see his star dropping any further, and I can’t remember the last time Fandango won a match that aired on national television, so I say Dolph pins Fandango..
IC CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: BIG E LANGSTON (CHAMP) VS DAMIEN SANDOW
While I’m looking forward to this card, allow me to lob my first of two major complaints. Uh, where are all the TLC matches?! Sure, we’ve got the main event, but would it hurt to have a tables or chairs match? For example, if this was a tables match, you could play off the fact that Sandow might try to outsmart Langston, making the outcome at least a little mysterious. As it is, I say Langston pins Sandow.
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE RHODES BROTHERS (CHAMP) VS THE REAL AMERICANS VS RYBACK & CURTIS AXEL VS REY MYSTERIO & BIG SHOW
Heeeere’s my other complaint; while the Rhodes bros have done no wrong since taking the tag straps, I liked their battles against standard tag teams. Where are the Usos and Prime Time Players? Heck, I’d take the Matadores and 3MB. Instead, there’s two groups that have literally just started tagging in the last month. Neither of them has a chance (though I’m holding out that Antonio Cesaro is able to giant swing Big Show, as long as Show doesn’t fuck up the spot like he did last month). I think we start to see the seeds of a Rhodes feud start here, so my pick is for Cody and Goldust to lose the titles. Real Americans win.
3-ON-1-HANDICAP MATCH: THE SHIELD VS CM PUNK
I’m really looking forward to seeing how WWE makes these handicap matches logistically interesting. The path seems a bit clearer for this one, as The Shield has been showing cracks lately. It makes sense to start their breakup too, so a miscommunication will lead to a CM Punk win.
3-ON-1-HANDICAP MATCH: DANIEL BRYAN VS THE WYATT FAMILY
The way the crowd went apeshit for Daniel Bryan at the end of Raw, you’d think the WWE would do their best to integrate him back into the main event ASAP. Unfortunately, that likely won’t happen, given his treatment as of late. The last thing WWE should do is align him with a heel faction, but they seem determined to shoehorn the crowd’s favorite wrestler with a too-serious group. I think Bryan wins, but the Wyatts abduct him to sideline Bryan from the main event a little while longer.
DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: AJ LEE (CHAMP) VS NATALYA
While both AJ and Nattie are good competitors, I’m starting to get tired of the Total Divas and “others” facing off month after month. Nobody besides AJ seems capable of holding the title, and a new year is the perfect time to start bringing up NXT’s stellar women’s division, so I say AJ wins.
TITLE UNIFICATION MATCH: JOHN CENA (WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP) VS RANDY ORTON (WWE CHAMP)
If you told me a few months ago that I’d be excited for a Cena-Orton main event at the end of the year, I’d tell you WWE would have to do something outrageous like unify the titles. I’m slightly interested to see what they do here, as I’m still not sure the WWE do something this historic on an off-month PPV with the Royal Rumble and Road to Wrestlemania on the horizon. WWE keeps promising a unification, but I still don’t see it, so I predict a draw at 19 minutes. It’ll be more along a “each guy grabs one belt” shmozz than “Big Show punches everyone” clusterfuck, but it’ll be a draw nonetheless.
Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, (including the Cena-Orton running time) as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!