Laser Time – 1-900-LAZR-TIME


Pick up those corded phones and get ready to dial! We’re headed back to a time when people paid absurd fees for info and entertainment via 1-900 numbers Ask your parents permission…



17 thoughts on “Laser Time – 1-900-LAZR-TIME

  1. I’m sitting at work, unable to listen to this now. I just wanted to be first.

    I did enjoy those 1-900 commercials, esp the late night ones!

  2. I’m loving this.

    Anybody ever notice how whenever they do really early breaks/plugs it’s always right after Brett says something?

  3. My favorite episode has to be episode 44: “Stalin Badman.” It has earned a permanent place on my phone, and I still listen to it on a regular basis.

    That episode has my favorite combination of hosts (Mikel, Micheal, Anne, and Tyler). The laughs come non stop from beginning to end. From serious discussion about the impotence of online petitions to octopus handjobs, this episode demonstrated everything I love about this show. It solidified VGA as my favorite podcast (sorry LaserTime…) and serves as a stellar example of why VGA is less a group of industry professionals talking about my favorite pass time, and more of a group of friends I get to hang out with once a week.

    Tyler was absolutely killer with the one liners that episode. “Truth seeking dicks” and “Counter Strike Defoe” cause me to literally laugh out loud every time.

    Congratulations of 50, guys! Never change!

    PS, If I ever have a band, It will be called “Grocery Store Fedora” and our first album will be “Purchasable with Bitcoin.”

    PPS If this gets read on the show, please be sure to mention both “moist” and “tumescent”

  4. Something about these pre-recorded phone lines kinda just freaks me out. Maybe it’s just the idea that you’re using a phone to just listen to a minute or two of what someone recorded while you sit there silently the whole time. Or it maybe it just sound old and I’m spooked easily. Either way I’m glad they’re a dead scam.

    But let me talk about FREEE text tones and songs! That’s probably the newer generation equivalent to these hot lines. You could get “free” text tones, crazy frog songs, ringtones, sometimes recorded by people of fame, horror scopes and jokes! Paying money…for jokes…man what a terrible idea.

  5. My parents once called my brother and I into the kitchen to ask us about a $50 charge on the phone bill. Turns out little bro had been calling the Woody Woodpecker 900 number at least once a day for the entire month. Dad dialed it and put it on speaker; Woody did an opening spiel that lasted almost the entire length of the first minute and included his iconic laugh, then kicked us over to one of his “dinosaur pals”- a slow-talking, gruff-voiced “brontosaurus” who lectured us on the importance of thoroughly chewing food and eating slowly to avoid indigestion.

    Also, I can still recite word-for-word this bit of ancient history from the last Willenium.

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