Vidjagame Apocalypse 52 – Prison Break


VGA takes another quick trip back to the criminality well this week, with a look at five  “heroes” who did hard time and became our favorite video-game convicts. Then we dive right into Earth Defense Force 2025 and Strider, talk about our experiences in the Elder Scrolls Online and Titanfall betas, and run through some of your suggestions for game-inspired Olympic events.

Question of the Week

What was the first (or strongest) crush you’ve ever had on a game character?



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Theme song by Matthew Joseph Payne. Break songs is Bluesy Chocobo by Nobuo Uematsu. Haunting and beautiful New Releases Theme by David B. Cooper.

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46 thoughts on “Vidjagame Apocalypse 52 – Prison Break

  1. A goomba… you could say i had the biggest crush on them 😉 as in literally crushing them. heheh so fucking good.

    1. Wait … you have a crush on goomba … and you crush them … and …. I don’t get it

  2. QOTW: I had a bit of a crush on Elizabeth from Bioshick Infinite, until, er, uhm, er, well, er,
    you’ll know if you play to the end.

  3. Tali, following Mass Effect 2, mostly for her personality, dialogue and the element of visual mystery… a mystery that’s still there personally since I don’t count Bioware’s bad photoshop cop out we got in Mass Effect 3.

  4. Trip from Enslaved, without hesitation. That game did something weird to me. I feel all tingly and erect just thinking about it.

    As for a man-crush, Garrus from Mass Effect is a perfect being. I’d kill everyone on my damn ship to save that dude.

  5. Toss up. Part of me wants to say Princess Toadstool in Mario 2 but I think that’s only because she had a pink dress and uh.. that’s it. Otherwise, it might have been Mega Man. Besides the fact I loved the games, I enjoyed the fact that unlike so many other heroes of his time, Mega Man was both tough AND fashion-forward. I mean, have you seen him with Quick Man’s suit? Hellooooooo Robot Master.

  6. QOTW: This is a weird one, but in all honestly, Enrica from Splinter Cell: Double Agent. She was independent, fierce and bad ass, plus I thought she was pretty hot in 2006. By the end (spoilers) when I had to frame her for my prevention of the cruise ship bombing and found her dead body, I was legitimately pissed off and upset over my actions.

  7. QOTW: My first off the top of my head is Yumi from Ape Escape 3, seeing her climb a pole in a skirt and spats just did something for my younger self.

  8. As one of your black listeners, I now sanction the “shut yo cracka ass up” sound effect. It is no longer racist.

    Qotw: I had (and still have) a game crush on Elena from Street Fighter x Tekken. I know she’s from Third Strike, but I only really started playing as her in SFxT. I always found her bouncy energy and design to be very cute.

    And since this topic is perfect for cringeworthy and embarrassing answers, I’d also say that while it isn’t a crush, I always thought Amy Rose’s design was very cutesy.

  9. QOTW: I might be dating myself a little with this, but Ayla from Chrono Trigger… i mean cmon, who doesnt want a buxom blonde bombshell in a fur bikini that isnt afraid of getting down and dirty. It wasnt hard for my 4th grade brain to think she was hot when i played the snes era version, but thankfully the PS1 port confirmed what my previously less developed mind had been so sure of… girl was fine. Now that i thoroughly feel like a nerdy pervert, enjoy this example (SFW)

  10. Also, is the Possum just the sped up Norwegian King of Names? cuz he was by a wide margin my favorite character ever portrayed in anything you guys have ever done, and needs to be brought back.

  11. Yuna from FFX and X-2 was definitely my first crush on a video game character. She’s still beautiful to this day to me, which is probably why I should actually play the darn game.

  12. My video game crush is Shaundi from the Saints Row Series. As soon as saw her for the first time in Saints Row 2, I knew that this laid-back stoner would be a stand-out character. Even her re-design in the 3rd and 4th games still had me going insane.

  13. Man, that Possum was awesome! I hope his death by falling from a 4th floor wasn’t permanent, because I’d love to see him return!

    Also, just started playing strider yesterday, not a lot just yet, but I’m digging it a lot. I like that it has a pace and cadence that is very different from other sidescrollers, really forcing you to keep moving to avoid getting destroyed.

    as for the QotW: Hmm… Brett’s gonna probably scoff, but my first crush was Rinoa from Final fantasy VIII. Mainly because of that scene later in the game in which she’s floating away in space felt so sad and gave me so much feels and made me afraid of losing her there… Also because I was like 10 years old and easily manipulated.

  14. Please, please find a permanent spot on the soundboard for SHUTCHO CRACKER ASS.

    I was giggling like an idiot, helpless to stop, even though I felt you guys were simultaneously burning out on the whole enterprise. Just keep it around for awhile, for special deployment. That’s all I’m asking.

  15. My first videogame crush was probably Regina from Dino Crisis, mostly because I thought her red hair was pretty and she had a nice bum wiggle 😛 That same crush easily passed on to Jill Valentine (the MASTER OF UNLOCKING) in Resident Evil 3 because she had the same bum wiggle. Also Yuna from Final Fantasy X was my first PS2-generation crush. The first of many.

  16. I remember Brave Fencer Musashi, as well as the FF8 demo that came with it. That game and Alundra helped sate my need for more top down Zelda-esque games (action RPG’s really).

  17. I’ve gotta say my first vidjagame crush has to be Kasumi from Dead or Alive. Something about red headed asian girls just makes me weak in the knees and to this day I find it very difficult to talk to asian women and red headed women. Whenever I get the small window of opportunity to talk to either (don’t get me started about if a woman were both) my mind goes blank thanks to that damned hotness Kasumi and all her jiggling goodness. I suppose it doesn’t help that my biggest anime crush was Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion, which makes me so happy when you guys mention it on any of the podcasts

    P.S. Henry was wrong about Shinji being 16 in Evangelion, all the pilots were 13.

    1. I thought they were all 15? They were all born during Second Impact (which happened in 2000), and the series takes place in 2015.

      1. Actually, they were born in 2002, if you watch episode 22, Prof. Fuiyutski is being held and interrogated by Seele he tells them that second impact occurrs in 2000, and 2001 is a year he still finds difficult to talk about. Then in 2002, Gendo approaches him while Prof. Fuiyutski was on a ship in the devastated south pole and reveals that Yui couldn’t join him as she is “with child” and gives him a card that has Yui’s handwriting.

  18. Hey, don’t go blaming Tyler not liking Walking Dead on being Canadian. He would have learned to dislike good things from Americans, after all, you guys invented the Waffle House.

  19. First video game crush? 16 year old me couldn’t get enough of Tifa from FF7. Short black skirt, long legs, buxom, and suspenders AROUND her chest… Thanks, Squaresoft!

  20. One video game character that I had a crush on for completely shallow reasons was Miranda from Mass Effect 2. Looking back on it, she is a very bland and uninteresting character who works for an evil corporation, but that saucy British accent and perfectly rendered ass was more than enough for my 16 year old self.

  21. My first video game crush was probably Ayla from Chrono Trigger. I’ve always liked strong female characters, and Ayla is definitely strong. The most intense video game crush I’ve ever had is Midna from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. She is not only one of my all time favorite video game characters, but she also turns out to be actually an attractive woman and not a strange little imp. She would be fun to hang out with, and to make things EVEN BETTER, she can use the fused shadow to turn into a giant spider monster. What’s not to love?

  22. I think my first video game crush was an NPC Elementalist from the original Guild Wars. She was part of a group of heroes who were supposed to be like the NPCs who were doing everything the player was doing in the first half of the game, but you only actually see them a few times. then you meet up again in the last half, and you can add them to your party.

    I thought she was cool because she was a fire elementalist like me, and she liked to make jokes and kick ass. She had a crush on the monk hero NPC, who was in comparison really quiet and unassuming, which made for a cute dynamic.

  23. *adjusts his spectacles*

    ACTUALLY guys, Final Fight Revenge isn’t considered canon by Capcom.

    The canonical reason Cody is in jail is essentially non-stop fighting. He basically just went around starting fights with people over and over to the exclusion of everything else and eventually it landed him in prison.

    Always seemed odd to me because that’s basically what everyone in Street Fighter does. But I guess picking fights with street gangs is not the same as having battles with other world traveling warriors.

    1. It’s funny, in the Udon comics, I was told that Cody is actually one of the strongest fighter in that universe. He doesn’t have a fighting style, or any real training, but he’s just so crazy tough and has so much raw potential that he just coasts on that.

      Also, mentioning the Wonderful 101, the going into an entry on my favorite Street Fighter character, is probably one of the greatest moments in my life.

  24. QOTW : as a pre teen boy anything with tits would do it for me, but if we are going by most intense then it has to be Elizabeth from bioshock infinite there are few characters who i give the slightest shit about especaily women (there are very few good women characters)
    i wanted to help her and she didnt feel worthless as i thourght she would ! id even fuck old Elizabeth

  25. Elena from Uncharted because she seemed like a real down to earth grounded person which you can’t say for many game characters. She is also a journalist at the time I was studying journalism with English at university so we had things in common. She was also a strong independent character who could hold her own without Drake, definitely not a damsel that needed saving. The character design wasn’t over sexual like most game characters which again made her seem like a real person instead of a piece of eye candy.

  26. Video game crush? well right now i’m playing though Mass Effect 2, so i;m going to have to say Miranda Lawson. plus i love the actress they got to do the voice for her.

  27. Bagman was originally a French game (Le Bagnard), so he’s supposed to be speaking French.

    For more ancient, who-gives-a-shit cops n robbers games, check out:

    Lock N Chase (basically Pac Man that lets you open and close doors)

    Thief (car/maze arcade game with an audio tape in the cabinet that played police chatter)

    Squeeze Box (kind of like Breakout set literally in a prison… when you die, the devil taunts you)

  28. First game crush… Princess Daphne, definitely! Because I’m old enough to remember when the only way to render an attractive female character was with digitized hand-drawn animation on laserdisc. And damn, was she hot, Jessica Rabbit had nothing on Daphne.

  29. QotW: I going with what I think would be the earliest acknowledgement of the female form in a video game. Which would be the girl in the shower from Porky’s on the 2600. Randomly appearing in the center, you’d see her pixelated nakedness as you pushed detonator parts while avoiding Buhla Ballbreaker constant pursuit.

  30. I’ve had a thing for Rogue for as long as I can remember. Still do. Technically not a video game character, but she’s been in plenty games by now, so I feel it should count.

  31. The definitive videogame sexpot, Laura Croft. Hotpants caress her supple bottom, tight shirt hugging her polygon breasts, twin 9mm set atop long legs…. Nude patch for extra fun!

    Damn! i would raid her tomb so hard!

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