It may have taken over a decade, but it looks as if we finally have a red white and blue, giant lizard palate cleanser…
Anyone going to see Godzilla this weekend? The Laser Time gang is headed out this Friday night, and we’re clicking our heels in anticipation while doing our bestest boyish impressions of over-dubbed Japanese pre-teens “Look, Poppa, look! Godzilla is going up against the Amazing Spider-Man!” We might even have a review up on the site soon, but feel free to chime in with your thoughts in the comments below.
A visual chart of this weekend’s North American Box Office
There’s been a ton of Zilla-based chicanery going on here at on the Time of Lasers. VGMpire just did a whole episode based entirely on Godzilla VGM, we’ve got a semi-regular feature on the 1970s Godzilla cartoon, we currently are giving out a Godzilla ’98 commentary in exchange for a small monetary donation (only FOUR days left to get yours) and I wouldn’t be surprised if ol’ Gojira showed up on another podcast bright and early next week…
And speaking of the 1998 abomination, this weekend is finally allowing we, the dorkier citizens of These United States to breathe a sigh of relief. Gareth Edwards’ film is reviewing well (possibly the best reviewed Godzilla cartoon EVER according to Rotten Tomatoes) and from what people are telling me, we no longer have Roland Emmerich’s abysmal reinterpretation hanging over patriotic cinephile ‘s heads. Seriously, do you know how difficult it is to embarrass America, movie fans, and Godzilla on a worldwide scale?!
Please tell me you’ve seen Brelston’s “Blunder Lizard” series on Godzilla’s Hanna-Barbera cartoon? After all, this ain’t Shakespeare, and not even Toho has never shied away from showing Godzilla’s goofball side. But that’s arguably what’s so painfully wrong about the 1998 version: it so very desperately wants to be cool. Here, have an Honest Trailer:
Or maybe don’t watch the above vidjo… because the line “Watch as Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich transform the most iconic movie monster of all-time into a box-headed, chicken-legged, no-atomic-breath-having, Jay Leno-chinned, stupid-faced, flat-nosed piece of shit” sums up our entire +2 hour commentary pretty succinctly. But it’s a different line from the Honest Trailer that gets me all prickly, which I’ll paraphrase as “the military destroys more than Godzilla does.” Yep, that’s kind the epicenter of my many, many, MANY issues with the ’98 movie.
When it came time for an American remake, Tristar went and got the dude whose most notable accomplishment was directing an exploding White House and an exploding Mac-compatible alien spacecraft (ID4, if ya ain’t feelin’ me.) But you can’t blow up the films central figure, can you? Which means Godzilla is almost never on screen, leaving much more time for horseshit military squabble to fumbling attempts at the broadest of mainstream comedy. Yuk…
I haven’t seen the 2014 Godzilla movie yet, but I have seen the directors previous film, a beautiful little indie called Monsters (buy it on Amazon or watch it on Netflix streaming.) In this 2010 movie, his giant mutant hellbeasts don’t get a lot of screen time either. Sure, that could’ve been due to financial constraints (budgeted at roughly 1/320th of the new Godzilla’s cost) but either way, the result is one of the most thoughtful depictions of Life in the Time of Enormous Creatures you’re likely to ever see.
The human, emotional cost of the most awesome of natural disasters takes center stage. It’s less about acts of destruction but the fallout that results from it, and I was immediately instilled with the utmost faith in Legendary Pictures’ choice of Edwards as the director. Whatever the reason, the guy’s clearly put more thought into a potential Godzilla scenario than almost any person on the planet, and that makes him infinitely more worthy of rebooting Godzilla than a director who’d probably rather sit in a CG sandbox and bang battleships together. In summation: Fuck the 1998 Godzilla, go get Laser Time’s HATE Pack Movie commentaries, go see the new Godzilla, and let us know what you thought.
GODZILLA GREATNESS ON AMAZON!!