The New Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer’s got Balls. Raccoon Balls

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Do not attempt to adjust yourself, there really is a new Guardians of the Galaxy trailer to watch repeatedly!

Nothing against the previous Guardians of the Galaxy trailer, but it ain’t got nothin’ on today’s new one. Yes, the last one featured a breezy introduction to the gang set to a horribly misappropriated song. But the new trailer? Shit! It’s got a glimpse of the villain, a lovely shot of Gamora’s tush, a talking tree, a talking David “Dave” “Bootista” Batista, a talking raccoon ADJUSTING ITS TINY LIL’ NUTSACK, and an even more wildly misappropriated song that damn near borders on the sacrilegious! It’s honestly almost too wonderful for words: WATCH!

If you thought Guardians of the Galaxy couldn’t take itself any less seriously, while teasing what sure as shit looks like the movie of the summer, then ummm boy, you’re in for a fucking treat. Hell, we all are from the looks of it. This may be my own initial enthusiasm, but GotG just went and skyrocketed itself to my most anticipated ANYTHING of 2014. What say you, lollipops?

23 thoughts on “The New Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer’s got Balls. Raccoon Balls

  1. That, “This might not be the best idea,” line, man! Seems this whole movie is just adjusting its balls in front of all the haters. Walking tall and ostensibly calling the devil by his name, they’re critic-proofing the film to some extent. That’s how you carve out your place in both cinemas and in the MCU.

  2. Fucking hell. Getting into the inevitable screening during Comic-Con has now shot to the top if my to do list.

  3. Definitely more impressed with this new trailer than with the previous one. This movie looks like it’ll be tons of fun if nothing else. I have a hard time understanding what they are trying to go with Groot though, is he meant to be menacing, or purposely goofy, or both? I ask because i honestly don’t know how he’s handled in the comics.

    1. He’s like a gentle giant until he get’s pissed then he’ll fuck you up. Surprisingly like the Iron Giant who was also played by Diesel.

  4. Glad Chris is into the GotG hype now, he’s been pretty down on it the last couple of times it’s been mentioned on Cape Crisis.

    Love that Marvel are going all the way with this movie, to the extent of a celestial beings severed head being used as a space station. Fucking beautiful.

  5. Hope this finally gets Dave into the mainstream like the Rock. Any haters of Bautista need to check out Riddick because he was awesome in that movie.

  6. I wish Rocket sounded less human. I always assumed he had different speech bubbles because he sounds different. But I suppose that would make the movie even less appealing to the average person.

  7. God yes this trailer was amazing. I cannot wait for August 1st to get here. Loved every second of it.

    Also I’m totally gay for Andy Dwyre/Peter Quill/Starlord.

  8. I am legitimately excited about this film way more than any of the other Marvel films. Rocket Raccoon just looks so fucking cool, and I’m hoping that maybe in Avengers 3 we’ll see him and Iron Man fighting side-by-side.

  9. I enjoyed Cosmic Avengers, but now that the re-introductions are out of the way, I’m looking forward to reading about the team’s new stories. that artist swap in issue 3 was very off putting, I wish Marvel would stop switching out their artists in issue 3 of their reboots (Hawkeye!)

  10. Loved the trailer, wont watch any other trailers from this point on. Just want the anticipation to overcome me.
    We have the luxury of seeing this trailer after 3 huge Blockbusters for the year have already come out(Cap, Middling Spider 2, and Godzilla). We are just far enough away from Cap that we have the MCU itch again.
    The action is like a rock concert.
    Dave looks like Drax and can pull off enough short lines for him.
    Zoe portrays an awesome Gamora in action, while having the Fem Fatal look.
    Chris can deliver the lines to inspire.
    Vin Diesel is type cast as IronWood Giant.
    And Bradly Cooper has enough snark to ooze more character into a flawlessly animated Rocket.
    Damn the Haters, full speed ahead.

  11. Love that Knowhere is a Celestial’s head in this even after Bendis changed it into a generic Tatooine-like planet in his ongoing.

  12. first disappointment rocket raccoon doesn’t have his ausie voice from umv3 🙁
    other than that cant wait.

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