Today’s Stupid Kart Stream is officially… Homie Rollerz


Today at 2PM PACIFIC TIME, as voted upon by you… Homie Rollerz is our Day 3 Laser Time Block Party. This is gonna be a goddamned shit show…

[UPDATE: YouTube Archive and poll for Day 4’s game added. You owe me big time, ya bastards…]

You guys really suck, you know that? I go out of my way to create a voting system so you guys can pick what’s streamed on our Twitch channel, and THIS is what you choose?!?! For Day 3, we could’ve looked at a weirdo Bomberman game, a hilariously dated South Park racer, or GOD FORBID the last game Chip N’Dale ever appeared in in Rescue Rangers form. But no, by an incredibly wide margin you picked Homie Rollerz, a slightly racist, immensely terrible title for the Nintendo DS that literally has the distinction of being THE WORST GAME I’VE EVER PLAYED.

I hope you’re happy

For those who don’t know, I gave Homie Rollerz a 1 out of 10, the lowest score Id ever given anything as a “professional Gaemz Journalologist.” And that was SIX YEARS AGO! You think it’s gotten any better?! Whatever, let’s do this I suppose… But be warned, the game does not run well, is practically impossible in addition to being outright broken. We could be looking at a single level here for a while, and if this Cholo horseshit crashes, I’m bouncing over to a game of my choosing


30 thoughts on “Today’s Stupid Kart Stream is officially… Homie Rollerz

  1. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this hard at another human beings pain and/or anger before. Chris, we salute you.

  2. Wonder if Miklo from blood in blood out is a secret character? His palette swap could be a missing leg version. Tres Puntos La Onda lives lol

  3. Wow I used to collect these lil homies at a juan pollo near my house. You look og loc Chris lol Time for your prison family photo with your top button.

    1. No amount of donations could undo the mental damage done to you sir. I apologize, I was unaware such horrors existed. I feel like this game is the 8 millimeter of video games!

      1. I just donated 5 dollars as promised. Thanks again Chris.

        “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as Homie Rollerz. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
        ― Moan4stallone-2014

    2. Hey, you endured 53 minutes of it, so you’re getting 53 dollars from me. The money might not erase the trauma, but it’s something, right ese? 😛

  4. Other people mentioned paying money if you actually went through with this. I think I’ll have to now too.

  5. Hey I clearly saw you drive on walls like there was antigravity! MK 8 stole Homie Rollerz thunder…. aaaand now that that joke is over, we’re all very sorry. You endured what no one else could. You are a true hero. I think we need a slo-mo montage of your gameplay today set to Nickelback’s Hero to celebrate. It seems like it would be pretty fitting in more ways than one.

    Also if anyone ever questions your dedication to pleasing your community, just point them to this. They will see the mental anguish you’re willing to undertake for our sake.

    1. Also just so you know Chris, you apparently are supposed to use the tricks to get respect points early on and not even try to win so you can buy upgrades to make winning actually possible. Unfortunately because you kept resetting it made the cycle of horrible difficulty continue.

      But you did jump of a ramp, barrel roll and then drive on the ceiling so you’re a winner in my heart.

  6. That was awful, however when you started driving on the ceiling that looked pretty cool for like 1 second. Hope something decent wins the poll today for your sake, and woo 1 day until Mario Kart 8!

  7. Ahhhhh sorry chris but i couldnt resist. Your review still makes me laugh. Plus i’m still a little pissed that i havent got my commentary pack yet… REVENGE!

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