Laser Time – Original Superhero Movies

laser-time-original-superheroes-episode

Cinematic Caped Crusaders with ZERO basis in comics or any other medium. Long before DC and Marvel got their shit together, it was up to Hollywood to bring their own superheroes to the screen!

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35 thoughts on “Laser Time – Original Superhero Movies

  1. I’ve always had a weird fascination with non-comic superhero movies so this should be another good one.

    1. Oooo, then you of all people need to help us fill in what we’ve missed. Don’t know why this was hard to research, but I seriously feel like I missed a bunch.

    1. Nah, there’s no way Blankman gets referenced *vigorously points at the above image with two fingers as hard as he can*

      1. Wow so didnt see that lmao! Chris you are the master of podcasting cause no where else does Blank man get the credit he deserves. Thank god meteor man wasnt in the image or id stop typing lol.

  2. You completely forgot about My Super Ex-Girlfriend. I mean, Uma Thurman as a jealous lover with superpowers!

    1. I wouldnt say we completely forgot. I made note of it, but I never saw it and remember it looking so shitty, in an unremarkable astoundingly mediocre kind of way, I just figured I’d let someone else bring it up or let it go altogether. SURPRISE: No one did!

  3. Holy Crap, CONDOR MAN! I haven’t thought about that in years! My older brother and I used to watch that all the time. I haven’t even listened to the episode yet, and I’m already nostalgiaing hard.

    CON-DOR MAAAAAAAAAN! DUN dunDUN dun! DUN dunDUN dun!

  4. I watched The Incredibles again this weekend funnily on starz channel like three times, its great and was my favorite but is starting to show its age and as I watch I only really care about Bobs story. I think Ratatouille is my favorite pixar film and I still think Wall-e is the best.

    I like The Village, hate signs and all the other m night movies

    What about Up up and away, disney channel original movie.

    I like Grim havent watched Beetljuice but the animated show

    I remember Star Kid, The suit feeds him his own poop is all I remember.

    Sky High is also okay. Sara Elizabeth Winscott hooray.

    I love Jingle All the Way, shut up Diana, movie is classic, best Christmas movie.

  5. Also original movies can be just as crap or let downs (pacific rim)and most are just derivative of other works Robocop to the Dredd comics of the time

  6. Also I feel Del Toro is just saying there isnt money for Hellboy 3 because he wants to do other things and wants to stop being bothered about it.
    If he really wanted to do it and made it his focus, it would get done, I mean pacific rims getting a sequel and that was barely a “success” and much more expensive.
    I believe hes just trying to do too many things and its causing his films to be of lesser quality.

    1. I’m not sure that’s fair to Del Toro. You know how many projects have been pulled out from underneath that dude? I heard him talk about Hellboy 3 recently, and he mentioned how Hellboy never performed well at the box office, but cleaned up on DVD. Thing is, that market is rapidly shrinking and the global box office is making up for that. If it ain’t an instant hit here or abroad, studios dont give a shit anymore.

      Oh, and Hellboy was based on a comic so it doesn’t count anyway

  7. Its no movie, but Infamous is one of my favorite non-comic super hero franchises. But you can save that for a Vidjagame episode.

  8. WHAT?!
    no mention of the 1980 movie Super Fuzz?!
    that movie was aaaaall over basic cable in the 80s it’s weird and a little terrible, and the soundtrack MY GAWD THE SOUNDTRACK!

    if ever there was a shitlords worthy move THIS would be it!

    1. See, THIS is why we have a comments section! I’ve never heard of this and now I NEED to know more. Thanks, bruther!

  9. Does Dr Horrible count? I was fully expecting to hear one of the songs from that play us out. It’s not a movie I suppose, but still: it’s great!

    The only thing I remember about Hancock is that Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron play a married couple, not long after I had seen Arrested Development Season 3, and I just couldn’t get it out of my head that she was playing the same character.

  10. FULL DISCLOSURE: We left out one original superhero movie and I’m absolutely devastated about it.

    Ernest Goes to Jail

    Brett wasn’t there so I take full responsibility. My deepest apologies to those who were hurt by the oversight.

  11. No, Chronicles of Riddick was not a prequel.

    The Riddick movies are in chronological order.

    Pitch Black > Chronicles of Riddick > Riddick

    It’s the video games that are prequels, and supposedly canon to the movies.

  12. Having now heard the episode, I am truly stunned that not one member of the show has seen Condorman. So here is my hard sell:

    Granted, this may be filtered through my nostalgia goggles, but I think Condorman is a great cold war era spy caper. It is a comedy, but it’s not a spoof of the genre – more of a riff, if that makes sense. Imagine a Roger Moore era Bond movie with some comic-bookyness thrown it.

    Unlike some of the other live action Disney movies you guys ripped on, I think they were actually trying pretty hard with this one. The cast is all in on the fun (including Oliver Reed as the villain); the cinematography is fantastic, as is the amazing location shooting all over Europe; the Henry Mancini score is terrific. And to top it off, there are two spectacular stunt sequences: a great car chase followed by an arguably even better boat chase.

    Sure it’s corny, but it wasn’t trying too hard to be cool and edgy. Just a whimsical romp. There is a widescreen version (2.35:1) “floating around” on the internet. I would highly recommend giving it a shot.

  13. Would Jumper from 2008 count? I just remember seeing that shitty movie with my first girlfriend cause she wanted to see it. You just want to punch Hayden Christensen for the Star Wars prequels the whole time.

  14. Return of Captain Invincible. I remember my friends and I picked this up in a rental store sometime in the early 90’s because we thought it looked awesome. All I can remember from the movie is that he had to say “Into the Blue” before he could fly, but not by water because he would go into the water and not the sky. My friends and I all thought it was terrible and our sleep over would have been a disaster had it not been for North and South on NES. I’m gonna have to give this one a second watch though. It may be a so bad its good type of movie.

  15. I have a vague memory of what I thought was a shitty, live action, straight to Disney Channel TV movie about some kids with super powers but turns out it was a Tim Allen theatrical release called Zoom. Man it looks awful.

  16. From now on, I will not be able to hear the words “molten lava” without having to hold back laughter. You guys are goddamned awesome.

  17. SO glad you mentioned Condorman! I immediately started humming the opening theme song, and I haven’t seen it since the 80’s. It’s a thing with me, theme songs just stick. When I was young and the Disney Channel was new and commercial-free we saw snippets of this movie, and I sent my parents on a hunt to every local video store to rent it. I remember nothing short of the these, besides a very basic plot. It may not have been based on a comic, but in the movie the main character writes the comic Condorman, but iirc he won’t give the character any objects that he can’t recreate irl.

  18. No love for Buffy the Vampire Slayer?! Shes a superhero right?

    Sidebar: best tv original superheros… Cartmen’s “The Coon”, Pete and Pete’s Arty the Strongest Man in the World, and motherfucking Powdered Toast Man.

  19. Since you guys have brought up Stan Lee so much recently, and I am a super Otaku, I feel like I have to mention a manga called Ultimo. It was a manga written by Stan Lee and drawn by Hiroyuki Takei (creator of Shaman King if you know what that is). It is essentially a combination of every manga/anime cliche you guys love/hate mixed with Marvel’s style of storytelling, you should really give it a shot if only to see muscular Stan Lee in a Kimono committing seppuku.

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