New trailer for The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Hours, I mean FIVE ARMIES


The final part of Peter Jackson’s prequel trilogy is almost here and I’m only halfway through the first movie…

C’mon, PJ! Comic-Con was last week! Or yesterday – point it IT’S OVER. The big boys at DC and Marvel didn’t release a trailer the entire weekend (officially) and you’re dropping this new trailer for The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies on us NOW, long after we’ve already climaxed on all things dorky?! Well, if you’re currently basking in the afterglow of Comic-Con, enjoying a puff of pipeweed from your metaphorical wet spot, there are probably worse ways to waste two minutes than with a look at the third Hobbit movie:

Man, I don’t know what it is about these films, but I cannot get my interest up for this star-studded, 7+ hour retelling of a relatively short story I’m already familiar with. And believe me, I’m more pissed at myself than anyone else, because I really do harbor a shitload of affection for the original LOTR trilogy (which you can in Extended, Blu-ray form for dirt cheap TODAY ONLY on Amazon.) I still haven’t seen Desolation of Smaug yet, and the most concerning thing about that is that the thought literally hasn’t even occurred to me for at least four months. This rings (lol!) even more tragic because of the new trailer’s use of “Pippin’s Song” which was one of my favorite moments from the utterly amazing Return of the King.

Am I really missing out? Am I getting OLD?! Somebody convince me one way or the other!

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14 thoughts on “New trailer for The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Hours, I mean FIVE ARMIES

  1. Looks really good, dark and ominous, except you can totally spy what the “goofy theme park ride” portion in the middle of the movie will be. I wish those parts were on the cutting room floor, they are completely superfluous. Actually, a lot of that could be said about both movies. The sub-title for this movie should be “Everything finally happens” and in the book, wasn’t it “Battle of Five Armies” not “Battle of THE Five Armies”? I guess… oops? Colbert would be mad.

  2. I really want to be excited for this trailer. But after the previous two flicks, I’m worried it’ll be another middling CG romp. Plus, the Mad Max trailer has ruined all other trailers for me.

    But I did get goosebumps from the pippin song.

  3. This is the most boring epic trilogy Ive ever watched and thats including the star wars prequels.
    Tolkein fans seem to love filler though.

  4. Sadly, I feel the same as Chris about these movies. I saw the first Hobbit in the 48 fps IMAX format and enjoyed it enough, but I still have not watched Smaug. It’s tough to give up 3 hours of valuable entertainment time on something that I’m lukewarm about.

  5. I would like to add my neigh saying to this murky stew of a comments sections and just say fuck these movies.

  6. It’s clear to me a lot of others can’t maintain interest in these movies, but for me personally I’m perfectly content with the way they are. Sure they’re long, but it seems to me that they have pacing more akin to that of games. I feel like I get to experience things through a slow burn. Some people when they play games want to rush through it and get all the plot points and then move on. I like to take my time and let myself become immersed in the universe.

    Sure the story may be extended from the book, but that’s only a problem if you think it’s necessary for it to be the same as the book. My biggest gripe with movie adaptations of books is when they remove things, but in this case it’s just adding more content for me to enjoy and become immersed in.

    I’m pretty sure a lot of people’s favorite parts from the PJ King Kong movie were not the in New York scenes from the original, but the added scenes of Kong versus T-Rex’s. If these movies manage to tell the original story and then some, then I see that as a plus rather than to their detriment because after this you’ll probably never see a new LoTR anything movie for the rest of your life.

  7. Speaking as someone who didn’t mind the last two hobbit movies, the cg in this trailer is just, distractingly bad. I kinda don’t wanna see this now just because i know the the battle of five whatever (which will probably be two damn hours on its own) is mostly just going to be distractingly shitty cg models.
    And again, i’m speaking as someone who though the last two were watchable.

    1. So… the company I work for actually works on some of the post production for the movie, we sent guys down to New Zealand and have our server farm running and everything else. They are still very much in the process of post producing that movie, I would guess (though don’t hold me to this) that the CG will improve by the time release happens.

    2. Yeah, I’m sure they’ve not finished the effects work yet – hence the lack of any battles in that trailer!

  8. As a light fan of the LOTR movies, and a never-watcher of The Hobbit saga, I intend to have a massive faff day in which I watch all 6 of them. I actually haven’t been excited to endure either of them until peeping this trailer here. Staying awake until Mt. Doom will be almost as tough as walking there.

  9. LOVED the LOTR trilogy, extended is even better, and Hobbit 1 is merely okay but feels all build up and filler. The Desolation of Smaug is much better, although still not on the level of LOTR and still has plenty of unnecessary filler. It’s worth it for Smaug though. He’s superb.

  10. I like them. They aren’t as good as Lord of the Rings, but I don’t think anyone really expected them to be. Cumberbatch as Smaug was a legitimate highlight that rivaled some of the best moments in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but I suppose I’m in the minority. Whatever.

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