Cheap Predictions: Pick WWE Summerslam 2014 results and win!


Think you have the hottest predictions for SummerSlam? Prove it, and you can choose the closer for an upcoming Cheap Popcast segment. Read on for Dave’s picks and then make yours!

First off, the next episode of Cheap Popcast will be a little late, as the normal CP crowd is spread all across this great country. I’m currently in New York for my sister’s wedding, Hank is rubbing elbows with the WWE’s greatest stars, while Chris, Brett, and Grimm will likely be watching and tweeting from LaserTime HQ in SF. Fortunately, my sister’s wedding was yesterday, so I’ll be free to watch the show live! As a matter of fact, I’ll be livestreaming WWE 2K14 and recreating the Summerslam with some of my friends on their Twitch channel (that’s right, I’m doing a heel turn against the Laser Time Twitch channel, if just for one day). So hop onto Select Button’s Twitch channel at 5PM and ask me questions!

As we’ve been doing for awhile now, the reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of Battleground. I went four-for-eight on the pre-announced matches, with the surprise winners of Miz, Y2J, and Cameron flummoxing me. The top predictors didn’t fare much better, and of the almost 20 entries only one correctly picked the battle royal winner. Two predictors got five right, and while SpadeSlick had the closer running time, he neglected to pick a song, so I’ll be emailing him to get a song of his choice on a later episode. So the first ever prediction contest winner by disqualification is New Jack’s Shopping Cart, who picked Fight’s “Little Crazy”, best known as Sabu’s ECW theme, to close the show.

Here’s how the prediction contest goes. I’m going to make my picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker. Just check out my predicions as a guideline.

What does the winner get? Well, you can make your mark on the next PPV-themed Cheap Popcast episode by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out before throwing to our episode-ender. Let’s kick off the predictions!


CESARO VS ROB VAN DAM
Boy, I hope that Cesaro’s post-Heyman (one could even argue post-Mania) chumpish streak doesn’t last much longer. The level of talent that has gone over on him lately has me fearing that they might give RVD the duke here as he falls further. However, I’m going to be positive here and say that RVD continues to put over younger talent. I say Cesaro wins.


DIVAS TITLE MATCH: AJ (CHAMP) VS PAIGE
I really hope this title match gets a decent amount of time, despite being far-less-hyped than the match featuring the slightly-more-talented Bella against someone who hasn’t had a legit match in 10 years (and wasn’t all that great back then). If they put on a barn-burner, Paige’s stock may rise a bit, but I don’t think she’ll be wearing the belt again anytime soon. AJ wins.


FLAG MATCH: JACK SWAGGER VS RUSEV
I think WWE found the perfect way for Rusev to have his first non-DQ loss without losing his heat. Swagger can win this flag match and give the audience something to cheer about, while Rusev can win the rivalry with a definitive win next month, just in time to job to Cena at Survivor Series. Swagger wins.


CHRIS JERICHO VS BRAY WYATT
Jericho got a surprise victory last month just to give this one a bit more heat at SummerSlam (pun intended). I don’t think Y2J will get another win, as the Wyatts need to start looking good again, and fast. Both guys have good chemistry, and I think Y2J is looking to steal the show, so I say in a match-of-the-night caliber performance, Bray wins.


INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE MIZ (CHAMPION) VS DOLPH ZIGGLER
I packed my Dolph Ziggler shirt for this trip for a reason. I know he’ll probably never hold a world title again (unless he goes to TNA, and the company survives long enough to give him the belt indefinitely), but Ziggler’s concussion-prone body is more than capable of handling secondary-title duties. I don’t see of another face character ascendant enough to even challenge The Miz after Ziggler (Ambrose, maybe, but the belt’s almost below him). After a a year-and-a-half of chumpishness, I say the WWE gives a bit back to Ziggler. Ziggler wins.


ROMAN REIGNS VS RANDY ORTON
This is probably the most important match in Reigns’ career. Possibly Orton’s, too. Reigns needs to have a match-of-the-night-level performance in singles competition, and there’s no better place to do it than at the second-biggest show of the year. Orton’s probably on a bit of a decline as far as star power goes, but still has to put that aside to make Roman look good. Unless they plan to prolong this, the ending isn’t much of a mystery, but I think the level of performance could fall anywhere on the spectrum. Reigns wins.


LUMBERJACK MATCH: DEAN AMBROSE VS SETH ROLLINS
See, this is where the SummerSlam card could have went from “very good” to “maybe the best of all time.” A ladder match would have been epic, tailored to their styles, and a lock for match of the night. I don’t think a lumberjack match plays to either man’s style, but I’m hoping to be proved wrong. I also hope Bo Dallas and Heath Slater are lumberjacks, and that Sandow actually dresses as a lumberjack.


BRIE BELLA VS STEPHANIE MCMAHON
This will probably be the longest Divas match in WWE PPV history, and I hope the talent involved can rise to the occasion. Brie’s definitely the more talented Bella, and Stephanie has nuclear heat, so there’s a chance this can deliver on both a match-making and storytelling front. I also hope this is a one-and-done match and they don’t skip the happy ending at the big event for a limp finale the next month (see: Lawler-Cole at WrestleMania), so I say Brie wins


WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: JOHN CENA (CHAMP) VS BROCK LESNAR
I don’t think Lesnar would have broken the Undertaker’s streak if the WWE didn’t have big plans in mind for him. I’m not sure how he gets the title and defends it for any extended period with his spotty schedule (maybe they’ve got him on tapped for more appearances coming up soon), but I think he’ll win at SummerSlam to continue his reign of dominance and hold the title until one of the big shows (Survivor Series, Royal Rumble, maybe even WrestleMania). Of course, even Brock Lesnar is no match for “LOLCENAWINS,” but I think this is the rare exception. Lesnar wins in 25 minutes.

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Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, (the world title match’s running time) as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!

27 thoughts on “Cheap Predictions: Pick WWE Summerslam 2014 results and win!

  1. Cesaro
    AJ
    As far as I know, they haven’t explicitly stated the rules of this match yet. If it’s pinfall/submission, Rusev wins. If it’s just capture your opponents flag, Swagger wins.
    Wyatt
    Miz
    Reigns
    No Contest/Draw
    Steph
    CENAWINSLOL in 25:30.

    Kenny Omega’s Mega Man theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f-Zvntyam8

  2. Cesaro
    AJ
    Swagger
    Wyatt
    Ziggler
    Reigns
    Ambrose
    Brie
    Lesnar-26:10

    Theme: The most out of place Chris Jericho theme EVER! King of My World-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7A47bIYvrCA

  3. Commander Savage takes out Razor Punch with a flying wheelbarrow. Turkey Straw narrowly beats Admiral Apocalypse in probably the weakest match of the night. and finally Silver Scorpion dominates Loko Yoyo with his signature Grilled Slam Sandwich.

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