How old is The Simpsons? Over FIFTY of its celebrity guest stars no longer exist!
With FXX 12-Day Simpsons Shebang upon us, every website in the universe is coming up with some sort of listicle based on a loosely refined Wiki… so why not Laser Time?! But seriously, it’s something I kinda wanted to do for a while. If your weren’t one of the unfortunate few who read my semi-recent rant on the whiny Simpsons fans of yesteryear, here’s the essential takeaway: You Are Old. And for some of you, The Simpsons is even older than you. The episodes most Simpsons Snobs consider “classic” also had the luxury of being introduced to them when you were young and impressionable, and they’ve also aired every day in syndication ever since. There’s been no other show with that kind of impact or longevity, no analog for its success or the evolution its taken, but we can emphasize time a bit by showing you just how many memorable Simpsons guest stars no longer exist! Let’s get morbid!
NOTES
–59. 61. 63. That’s my unofficial tally of dead Simpsons guest stars including the three below
-We did not include Marcia Wallace, Doris Grau or Phil Hartman for reasons that should be obvious
-Season 1 has only 1 death! Not until Season 14 does the mortality rate stabilize to that level.
-Despite the odds, Larry King, Dick Cavett and Kirk Douglas are miraculously still alive!
-Even without the appearance by The Ramones, Season 5 is a fucking Holocaust
-Season 16 is the first season with ZERO DEAD GUEST STARS!
-With his knack for animal voices, Frank Welker may be the most unsung Simpsons guest star
UDPATE
-Live long and prosper, Leonard Nimoy.
-Season 23 is no longer death free (RIP Joan Rivers)
-RIP Jan Hooks. Hooks voiced Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon (wife of Apu, mother of eight) in six episodes from Season 9 to Season 14.
SEASON 1
Ron Taylor (Bleeding Gums Murphy)
SEASON 2
Audrey Meadows (Bea Simmons)
SEASON 3
Michael Jackson (Leon Kompowsky)
Chick Hearn (Himself)
Steve Allen (Hemself)
Joe Frazier (Himself)
SEASON 4
Bob Hope (Himself)
Elizabeth Taylor (Herself)
Joyce Brothers (Herself)
Barry White (Himself)
Johnny Carson (Himself)
Leonard Nimoy (Himself)
SEASON 5
George Harrison (Himself)
The Ramones (All of them)
George Fenneman (Narrator, “Marge on the Lam”)
James Brown (Himself)
Ernest Borgnine (Himself)
Werner Klemperer (Colonel Klink)
Robert Goulet (Himself)
SEASON 6
Henry Cordon (Fred Flintstone)
Anne Bancroft (Dr. Zweig)
Johnny Unitas (Himself)
Tito Puente (Himself)
SEASON 7
Mickey Rooney (Himself)
Linda McCartney (Herself)
Harry Morgan (Bill Gannon)
Lawrence Tierney (Don Brodka)
SEASON 8
Paul Winfield (Lucius Sweet)
Rodney Dangerfield (Larry Burns)
Johnny Cash (Talking Coyote)
Jack Lemmon (Frank Ormand)
SEASON 9
Jan Hooks (Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon)
Stephen Jay Gould (Himself)
Jim Varney (Cooder)
Bob Denver (Himself)
Rod Stieger (Captain Tenille)
SEASON 10
Ed McMahon (Himself)
George Carlin (Munchie)
Dick Tufeld (Lost in Space Robot)
Jack Lalanne (Himself)
SEASON 11
Dick Clark (Himself)
Clearance Clemons (Narrator, Grift of the Magi)
Joe. C (Himself)
SEASON 12
John Entwistle (The Who, “A Tale of Two Springfields”)
John Updike (Himself)
Patrick McGoohan (Number Six)
Charles Napier (Warden)
Robert Schimmel (Convict)
SEASON 13
Paul Newman (Himself)
Dennis Weaver (Buck McCoy)
SEASON 14
George Plimpton (Himself)
SEASON 15
Tom Clancy (Himself)
Isabel Sanford (Herself)
SEASON 16
NO DEATHS
SEASON 17
Larry Hagman (Wallace Brady)
SEASON 18
Gore Vidal (Himself)
SEASON 19
NO DEATHS
SEASON 20
NO DEATHS
SEASON 21
Huell Howser (Himself)
Eartha Kitt (Herself)
SEASON 22
Cory Monteith (Flynn)
SEASON 23
Joan Rivers (Annie Dubinsky)
SEASON 24
Don Pardo (Himself)
SEASON 25
NO DEATHS…YET
I’d say feel free to let me know of any I missed, but come on, you’re Simpsons fans on the internet! I can’t imagine I need to ask to be corrected.
This is the greatest article about the marathon I’ve seen!
This is a morbid ass spin on this whole marathon. Reminds me of how so many laugh tracks were apparently recorded in the 1950’s and we’re listening and laughing along with the dead. That’s kind of creepy if I think about it for too long
This is tremendously morbid…I love it. My best friend and I (who can’t go 10 minutes without quoting The Simpsons) spent today watching the marathon, catching pretty much all of season 8. I know that the dead horse had been beaten into a fine paste at this point, but I just have to say it: man, the Simpsons used to be so good. USED to be…
If there was ever a time for a lasertime about favorite simpsons episodes/moments, the time is now, at least two hours, if not, you fail.
allow me to make your day,
http://www.lasertimepodcast.com/2013/10/23/laser-time-simpsons-reference/
that’s not to say I would kick a sequel episode out of bed for eating crackers. this article is a LT episode in itself. any excuse to wax Simpsons without needing the favorite episodes”format.
I am already aware of that one(I have listened to every lasertime yknow), Im talkin no rules, no setup, no season limit, if there was an episode they loved they talk about it, nonstop references as soon as they come to mind.
Nonstop until somebody collapses or turns yellow.
figured you knew, since I see your name come up all the time, but the way you phrased it sounded like you might have missed that ep.
You forgot about Gary Coleman, he was also in the Grift of the Magi episode
Wow! Reading through these, I was surprised by how many had died that I wasn’t aware had died, or had simply forgotten. Sad, very sad. But GREAT ARTICLE!
I’m with Radioactive Spock. The most harrowing listicle of the season!
*sigh* Talking Coyote? TALKING COYOTE?!
That’s the Space Coyote dammit!
Awesome job putting this together! I saw your instagram posts and got excited for the marathon, only to find out shity verzion does not include that channel in my package even thou im paying like 130 a month. Wish they would have put at least a couple of episodes on regular FX.
Excellent article/list
some of these i didn’t even know were dead. ha!
This is uniquely Laser Time, and I love it. Great article, Chris!
You left out George ‘Ahh, my groin’ C. Scott!
Robin Williams can now be added to this list as well 🙁
Fur reel?! How did I miss him? If he’s made an appearance on Tie Simpsons, I’ve never heard of it.
“Johnny Unitas, now there’s a haircut you can set your watch to,” was on the episode “Homie the Clown.”
The quote was not from the episode he appeared on:
http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Johnny_Unitas
Eartha Kitt is dead??!!
Hey Chris, not sure if this was previously addressed, but what the hell the internet tends to repeat itself. The Simpsons episode with “Michael Jacksons” voice is actually done by who did, and still might do, all his voice work including music. I have no sources, just memory. I’m also willing to say I might be wrong (Gasps), how shocking.
You are most definitely wrong. MJ was credited as “John Jay Smith” but very much provided his voice, although he did have stand-in for the his singing in the episode. That dude’s name is Kip Lennon, but I’ll let Lisa tell it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDGAIMeKaZE
Compared to my list I see……..
Marvin Hamlisch is missing
Christopher Collins–although you may be counting him as a regular
Tom Poston
Gary Coleman someone already mentioned
PaT Summerall
As for the Ramones–only 3 of them spoke and one is still living of those 3. So I think that messes with your count.
My count is at 68 including the regulars you didn’t list Hartman, Wallace and Grau
Oops forgot Jan Hooks makes it 69
By the way, George c Scott was not an actual guest–it was an impersonation—for the poster who was confused.
Huell Howser was on the Simpson??? “Loiuse!!! Get a shot of this!!!”