Vidjagame Apocalypse 78 – Simpsons Did It

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The Every Simpsons Ever Marathon has an iron grip on our souls this week, so no, we actually couldn’t think of a better topic for this week’s Top 5 than our favorite Simpsons games. Once that’s out of our system, we move on to Metro Redux, an almost completely uninformed discussion of Madden 15, a lot of ranting about PSN hackers, and the games that – for you – will end the relative drought of new releases we’ve been seeing this summer.

Question of the Week

What’s the most frightened you’ve ever been by (or because of) a horror game?

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And hey, Chris put together another video based on our Top 5 about movie games from 1994! Do us a favor and watch it, why don’t you?

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Theme song by Matthew Joseph Payne. Break song is Canyonero as sung by Hank Williams, Jr. Haunting and beautiful New Releases Theme by David B. Cooper.

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35 thoughts on “Vidjagame Apocalypse 78 – Simpsons Did It

  1. QOTW: This is going to be a stupid answer, but the picture on the cartridge of zombies ate my neighbors terrified me as a two year old, it actually gave me nightmares for weeks. It got so bad that one day, for some stupid reason, I thought that throwing the cartridge in the trash can would solve the problem (keep in mind that I never actually played the game). No one noticed until it was too late, and I was grounded for months. I was a stupid kid.

  2. In Metro Last Light, there is a sequence where you are moving a large rail cart between location (as standard for the game actually), where in one such location there is an optional room littered with beds. The more I move into the room, cries and whimpers begin to creep in, with shadows that appear and disappear as I look over at them. When I finally collect what I need I turn back and now all the beds are filled with disorted bodies, crying and screaming in pain in an inhuman manner before suddenly disappearing…

    …I couldn’t have got out of there any quicker.

  3. To be honest, I have never been a fan of the horror genre in general, but Half-Life 2 did make me jump at times primarily because things sometimes came out of nowhere. A specific example that actually terrorized me in that game was going into the upper level of that house by the bridge over the ocean. After acquiring the gear that was up there, I turned around to go back, only to find myself yelling in horror as a black headcrab zombie suddenly appeared right there. The fact that I absolutely HATE black headcrabs in that game because of the hissing noise they make didn’t help at all. I later discovered in later playthroughs that the only why that damn thing appears is if you go into a certain room upstairs which has the gear you need, meaning that the terror is quite unavoidable if you choose to go up there. UGH!

  4. This is a bit shameful to admit… But the game that has left me scared the most was, of all things, War Gods for the arcade.

    In my defense, I was at the tender age of 7, and I hadn’t really been exposed to a lot of gore in media at all by that point, even what I had seen of Mortal Kombat back then was just the SNES fatalities. So while hanging around in an arcade once, i saw a couple of the fatalities from War Gods… And that made enough impact for me to have nightmares for days to come. I was also stupid enough to tell my parents about it… causing them to ban me from playing violent games for… just a couple of months before they stopped paying attention.

    I’ve played a fair share of scary games since then, but honestly, none have left nearly as much of an impact as those stupid fatalities did, and I’m sure that if were to look them up now, they must look incredibly lame. I was such a wimpy kid.

  5. Speaking of Metro, the scene in Metro 2033 when the Librarian grabs you by your head through the wall and pulls you in close up to his ugly fucking mug, it scarred me in a way that no game had before.

  6. I don’t play many horror games but I remember playing through Ocarina of Time and being freaked out going through the Forest Temple and that damn hand would come out of nowhere and take yo ass outta there. May sound like a puss but I was 12 and wasn’t exposed to much horror (yeah I’m 8 years younger than you guys, whoopity woo).

    Since, I have vague recollections of being weirded out by parts in games but can’t really remember the specifics. I know the first Max Payne was just dark and depressing but not really frightening.

    1. Oh Mike, you can skip out on playing defense in offline mode. When playing a game and your offense is done, you can engage “Supersim” and just skip through the defensive part and you can jump back in during offense.

  7. Great episode, but whaddya mean Persona Ultimax doesn’t count as a new game? I’m hard pressed to find any fighting game sequel that adds anywhere near as much new stuff.

  8. QOTW: Probably playing Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. I ended up playing it exclusively at night a few Falls ago, and since I was sitting alone in the dark at the other end of my house from anyone, the weird isolation and creepy atmosphere really got to me. Plus, as it was the first Silent Hill game I really got into, the portions where the actually enemies showed up really got to me because you had no other course of action but to run and keep running, plus the wii-mote tended to play their noises over its speaker (as it did with many of the investigation sequences).

  9. I think I’ve told this already but it never got read, here goes again.

    I used to work as a security/care taker of a radio station way up in the mountains. Actually it was just a building with equipment to get the signal from the main station and rebroadcast it out to a wider area. It was miles away from anyone and i was the only one there, I wouldn’t see people for two weeks at a time.

    So i decided to play silent hill 2. The games own creepiness combined with the deserted location and a windy moonless night was one of scariest media experiences I’ve had. I’m not using hyperbole I was so scared i had to use the bathroom multiple times and kept playing till sunrise.

  10. Alright so its not exactly a horror game… But in 2001, i was a Soph in high school and had just started experimenting with Chris’s favorite medication. I was playing Metal Gear Solid 2 alone after my friends had left and we had smoked a fair bit, which made it that much more enjoyable… until I got to the part In Arsenal Gear when you start getting all the fucked up messages from the Colonel and Rosemary. (examples below) Suddenly i found myself recalling all the reefer madness propaganda, and health class warnings about drugs making your lose your mind, and i flipped shit. I thought i had destroyed my brain, so i shut off the system and went and laid down on the cold tile on the bathroom floor.

    Colonel: Raiden, turn the game console off right now!

    Colonel: Don’t worry, it’s a game! It’s a game just like usual.

    Rosemary: You’ll ruin your eyes sitting so close to the TV.

    Colonel: Raiden, something happened to me last Thursday when I was driving home. I had a couple of miles to go — I looked up and saw a glowing orange object in the sky, to the east! It was moving very irregularly… Suddenly, there was intense light all around me — and when I came to, I was home. What do you think happened to me…?

    Colonel: I hear it’s amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!

  11. Alright so my buddy and I were playing this source mod game, and I’m going throw and yeah some of the stuff is scary, but nothing big. I end up this is vent system and I’m walking and I hit a dead end, so I go back and then it’s a dead end there again and I’m confused. My buddy, who has already played the game told me to keep going back and forth, and after a few passes I’m in this box that I’m practically made myself, and I’m just running around not knowing what to do, and my bud told me to look up. I shoot the mouse up and this ghost chick is standing above me in this hole 90 degrees to the wall, but on the corner. My buddy screams which made me scream and then I got mad and hit the fucker because I thought he screamed to make me scream, which he apparently didn’t do. We were both pretty worked over by that game.

  12. Five Nights at Freddys is a top contendor for creepiest game of all time, and a fairly new game to boot. The premise is that you are an overnight security guard at a Chuck-E-Cheese-esque restaurant, and have to watch over the animatronics at night. The animatronic animals will roam the halls, and shove you into an animatronic suit if they catch you, thus crushing your bones due to metal parts and wires inside. It’s your job to watch them VIA the security cameras, and make sure they don’t get into the security room, where you are located. If that premise doesn’t terrify you, I don’t know what will.

    1. Briefly, but it’s lumped into a conversation of how stupid it is to find your fun by ruining other people’s fun (a conversation brought up by the DDoS attacks on PSN and XBL).

  13. Most of the Simpsons shows I popped in for during the marathon haven’t looked much better than most of the Simpsons games. Simpsons apparently can’t be cleaned up at all for HD.

  14. I don’t usually react much to horror games in the moment, but there’s a rule in my house that I can’t play those types of games before bed on account that I can have pretty severe night terrors.

    Once, I dreamt that there was a facehugger in my bed (after playing the Human Campaign in the latest iteration of Alien vs Predator). I sprang out of bed and sprinted for the hallway, but then thought ‘I can’t leave my wife in bed with a facehugger!’

    I performed a heel turn and dive-tackled the bed. Only when the bridge of my nose connected with her knee was I snapped back to reality.

    While that was unpleasant for me, imagine what she experienced: You’re sound asleep when your husband suddenly screams, leaps out of bed, runs a few paces, turns, and tackles you.

    So yeah…I have to play horror games in the early afternoon from now on.

    1. That’s pretty insane man. I’m kinda jealous actually. I’ve had such a hard-on for the franchise that during one of my nightmares when I found myself in Alen 3’s prison colony, I got so fucking stoked that I separated from the baldies asap and sought out the runner just to see it in person. I’ve not yet or since felt this combination of mortal terrror and fan-geek glee as it viciously ended me. Like getting offed by Superman or something.

  15. QotW: I got food poisoning off a can of discount Campbell’s wonton soup the same night i rented Castlevania for an extended three day weekend. My simultaneous vomiting and diarrhea combined with the creepy Medusa heads lead to a conditioned fear that lasted until symphony of the night.

    Also, kingsfield’s lack of graphics creeped me out pretty bad in high school.

  16. I just want to go on record as saying that, while I love Simpsons, I wouldn’t want FOX to make an entire channel just dedicated to Simpsons.

    I WOULD howeever, watch a channel that is dedicated to FOX animation that is like half Simpsons, half Futurama/Family Guy/King of the Hill/American Dad/Bob’s Burgers(hell, Adult Swim practically does this already) etc.

    Maybe even bring back a few of the ones that didn’t last so long. Like The Critic, The Tick(heck, I even liked their Napoleon Dynamite cartoon), etc.

    THAT you could fill a channel with.

  17. The best thing about Madden is whimsical internet comedy writer Jon Bois’s “Breaking Madden” series. The 2014 edition is premiering next week, I believe, but the archive is here:

    http://www.sbnation.com/breaking-madden

    Every week he basically sets some option to an extreme or turns off an important rule, and attempts to get it to glitch out, often with fantastic results. Here’s the Super Bowl. He managed to get the game to create a sort of half Bronco, half Seahawk fetus.

    http://www.sbnation.com/2014/1/30/5351052/breaking-madden-super-bowl-broncos-seahawks

  18. Metro 2033 and Last Light. Those damn ghosts man. They’re depicted as entirely invisible except for the shadow they cast. In Last Light there’s a room off to the side with a lot of loot in it, so I immediately ran in only to find a bunch of ghosts, except these ghost weren’t moving, they were all just in the state they were when they died, which, IIRC it was a mass suicide, it was creepy. also the room was flooded with radiation and I died.

  19. Why do you care about the smash bros leak? It was going to be spoiled before it released here anyway and you dont have to click on articles pertaining to the leak.

  20. I’ve been on a Russian kick for a while now, reading/playing the Metro series, and close to finishing STALKER: Call of Pripyat at the moment. Also saw The Return (and fuck if Russia doesn’t look post-apocalyptic already.) Coincidentally with the developing Ukraine situation, I kinda like having a cultural/relatable medium to a country that will soon if not already be deemed our enemy. These games flip that perception a bit I think, and give a rare glimpse plus an appreciation of a people who are so often (and easily) cast as an opposing entity. It’s refreshing to be able to hear a nearby Russian-speaking NPC and not instinctively ready a weapon.

    QOTW answer is the classic Resident Evil dog window hallway bit. After quickly dying in that hallway, I shut off the psx and left my empty house to rejoin my family at the neighbors’. So much for “Sweet, I got the house to myself and I’m gonna play this awesome new game all night!” (I was 11 or 12)

  21. QOTW RESIDENT EVIL! Everyone who has played the original or awesome Gamecube remake remembers the first time they walked down an unassuming hallway with windows and a perfectly set up camera angle; only to have a dog burst through it an scare the shit out of them. Remember when that serries was scary? #Chainsawguy

  22. QOTW: I’m usually not much affected by jump scares. The biggest jump scare I may have ever had was when I was playing Dead Space at 1 in the morning hopped up on caffeine and a pigeon loudly slammed into a window in the room I was playing in. I had to stop playing that night because that god damn pigeon made me shit myself.

    The honor has to go to Silent Hill 3 though for most terrifying game. Playing that on hard was the most nerve wrecking experience I’ve ever had to the point where I would become stressed just thinking about playing it despite wanting to see what else it had in store.

  23. QOTW – the scariest game I ever played isn’t actually a horror game – it’s Tomb Raider 2.

    It was the first PC game I ever owned, and up until that point I had played almost nothing but 8 and 16-bit console games, which were full of bright, flashy visuals and loud, bombastic sounds. TR2 was a complete game changer for me – the only audio were realistic sounds and ambient effects, the levels were dark and shadowy, and the main character felt heavy, slow and vulnerable.

    Add in sudden, gruesome deaths and enemies who strode towards you like silent goliaths, not even flinching from a shotgun blast to the chest, and it was more than my 11 year old self could handle. I couldn’t make it past the opera house without feeling pants-shitting terror, so I never managed to complete the game until I was 23, when I decided to replay it from scratch and had an absolute blast. It still terrifies me, though.

  24. Not really horror but Farcry 3 and the godamned sharks and dragons! I remember swimming through some water and BAM! Oh good times.

  25. Silent Hill 3 (maybe 2) has that static radio that lets you know when monsters are near, so everytime you don’t hear it you draw a sigh of release that you won’t be raped by a monster in the next few seconds. So I enter a room in the hospital and the radio shuts up, phew, I see some consumeble (medkit?) on a hospital bed and walk up to grab it when WHAM!

    A MOTHERFUCKING CREEPY-ASS MONSTER DOUCHEBAG zips out from under the bed. As my avatar slams into the ground i use my feet to, as hard as I can, push myself away from the computer. Headset rips out of the computer as I fall backwards brain working in hyperdrive thinking FUCK FUCK FUCK.

    I crawl back up to the keyboard and smash the escape key, stare for a while at the screen then quits the game for about a week. And the worst part is, after that, you can’t trust that fucking radio. They never break the “static when monsters are near” rule ever again but man i will never trust that fucking radio again.

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