Laser Time Commentaries – The 80s Halloween Pack!

laser-time-halloween-commentaries

Join us in celebrating the oddball entries of horror’s greatest film franchises…

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! We’re trying to make one of the best times of the year a little bit better and you could help your pals at Laser Time a little bit too just by paying it forward! I fucking love Halloween, and the only thing that makes me more giddy than the decorations and the seasonally-sanctioned cosplay is revisiting my favorite horror films of yore. Can’t imagine I’m alone in this tradition, so this year, in exchange for a small LT donation, we’re asking you to join us for a viewing of the absolute weirdest entries from the best horror series the 1980s has to offer. PAY WHAT YA WANT!

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge  |  Complete Blu-ray set
Perhaps you’ve heard about the gay subtext and homoerotic undertones found in Freddy Kruger’s much maligned first sequel to the wonderful Nightmare on Elm Street? Because I just watched for the first time in forever, and I saw no such subtext or undertones. What I saw is the gayest movie imaginable. For years Elm Street fans have hated this film, usually/accurately slandered for breaking all the rules established by Freddy in the original film and throughout the rest of the incredibly fun Nightmare series. It is, admittedly, a total deviation. And I’m not just talking about there being far more man ass than gratuitous boob shots! As time went on and film fans got smarter, people began to recognize what was actually making the film so weird was that Freddy’s appearance here is not as a master of dreams, but a blatant, bizarre metaphor for a man’s struggle with his own sexuality. And while it’s still technically the worst film in the Elm Street franchise, once you’re aware of its actual intentions, the horror equivalent of the Top Gun volleyball scene is shitload of fun to watch.

Friday the 13th V: A New Beginning  |  DVD  |  Friday the 13th Collection
A while back Dave Rudden wrote that the fifth Friday the 13th movie is actually the best in the series and I’m a little more inclined to agree with him now. I probably shouldn’t be so terrified about spoiling the film’s reveal (we’ve mentioned it several times in previous Laser Time episodes), but let’s just say that the previous film was not fucking around about it being Jason Voorhees’ “Final Chapter.” And since it doesn’t need to concern itself with a lot of the baggage required to reintroduce its star, Friday 5 instead streamlines the gore, sex and kills. Fans were understandably upset at the movie for its trapdoor mislead, but once the dust settled into five or six more sequels, the fifth entry stands out as an incredibly enjoyable entry with a super high body count that hits all right notes for a Friday the 13th movie.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch  |  DVD  |  Complete Blu-Ray set
Had this movie not billed itself as the third entry in the Halloween series, it would be an undisputed 80s horror classic, IMO. As the Story Goes: John Carpenter’s disinterest in revisiting his famous slasher character led to the decision to turn the Halloween series into an anthology series of unrelated horror films released every October (it certainly had the perfect name for such an endeavor.) Yes, this is the only Halloween movie with no Michael Meyers. But instead you get killer robots carrying out an alien conspiracy to choke children to death with bugs and snakes through the TV airwaves. And after Meyers returned in seven more movies, I can honestly say I would’ve preferred more killer robots/aliens, or another such deviation, to more to of the same. I cannot recommend watching this movie enough. For us, it’s practically an annual tradition at this point.

HOW GET?

You donate to our Paypal, silly! Here’s a quick breakdown:

80s HORROR PACK – SILVER: ANY DONATION
-A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge
-Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

80s HORROR PACK – GOLD: ANY DONATION OVER $5
-A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge
-Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning
-Halloween III: Season of the Witch

In short, pay whatever you want and get the commentaries for Nightmare 2 and Friday 5. But if you’re feeling randy, any donation over $5 will land you those two and an exclusive Halloween III commentary you won’t find anywhere else. No, not even our Bandcamp page. We know: Nobody likes to be prodded for donations. But it can’t be denied that several members of Laser Time could use your support right now, plus we could definitely use an upgrade to some of our equipment. Think of it like a charitable donation if you’d like, but I like to think of it as giving you something tangible in exchange for your support. Our shows are and shall always remain free, so maybe consider these the premium DLC that now literally puts food on our table (which currently hosts podcast equipment exclusively.) Thank you so much for your support, everyone!

NOTE/DIRECTIONS: 
-These commentaries will be available from now until October 31st!
-Within 48 hours of your PayPal donation, you will be added to a shared list on Google Drive where you may download a zipped archive of your commentary MP3s. You should receive an email with the link to the email associated with your PayPal account.
YOU MUST HAVE A GOOGLE ACCOUNT. You should probably have one already, and if you have a YouTube, Gmail, Goggle+ account, etc., you already do even if you’re not aware of it. If not, we recommend getting one for a billion reasons beyond getting these commentaries. Click here to see your Google Drive status.
-If the email address associated with your PayPal account is not a Google address, add it in Paypal’s Notes and/or Comment field for a smoother process. Hotmail, Yahoo, etc., tend to file your download link under spam/junk because they’re dicks and hate Google. I can be found at on Twitter and Facebook if you have any quick questions.

I know that looks like a lot of info, but I swear, it’s 100% safe and easy. We point this out because while this system works smoothly for 99% of people, some people have had issues we cannot foresee. We have no idea if you’re behind a firewall, what territory you’re in, and we are dummies with no IT department and don’t have a lot of time to help you figure out what’s wrong on your end. If you cannot access the files, we will be more than happy to refund your donation, but please make sure you’ve explored your options first. Here’s a quick Google Drive tutorial. I will do my best to answer any other questions in the comments below.

60 thoughts on “Laser Time Commentaries – The 80s Halloween Pack!

      1. *sighs* Fine, I can’t donate much since wedding preparations have drained me almost entirely, but I’ll work something out.

  1. Err, kinda wished you guys did the originals, or the remakes
    Im not too fond these three, more of a ghostface guy
    Ill think about it….

    1. Yep, love all three series and it’s been too long since I gazed upon their majesty, so here Chris – have $5. Aw, hell, I’m feeling nice, have another dollar.

      Still, I’m with codystovall that these are some mighty odd choices for a Halloween pack. Freddy Vs Jason, the originals, hell, even the batshit crazy Jason X I’d rather you guys comment on. These ain’t the worst or, Friday 5 aside, the best in each series either.

      1. What is so bad about Friday 5 besides the plot twist, really? I just love how it embraces everything ELSE about the series, like sex, gore, drugs, and character stereotypes.

        1. I said “Friday 5 aside” more to allow your argument that it was indeed the best in the series! Little confusing now I read it. I more meant that Halloween 3 and Nightmare 2 aren’t either the best or worst of their series, meaning they’re odd choices.

          You’re probably right about Friday 5. I admit I’ve never been able to pin down which is the best, it’s harder than most horror franchises (where the answer is usually “the first one”).

    2. Just wanna point out that im one of the minority who had unknown troubles gettin the last few packs, and ive recieved my link within 48 hours of donating this time around. Thanks LT Crew!

  2. Did have a Google account, now i might have to make another one.
    Will your Bandcamp page be updated with the other commentary tracks Chris?

    I know this question is off topic, but do you have any streaming schedule or is it more when you feel like?(i don’t have a Twitter or Facebook account so i don’t get your updates.) i know i could watch it on Youtube but i would rather watch it live.

  3. I am SO on board for this!! I love that you guys don’t do the regular stuff that has been done to death – your Christmas pack included Batman Returns(my personal FAVORITE Christmas movie, and damn near my favorite Batman). I’ll happily donate over the $5 asking price, I’ve never had a problem getting my commentaries, and I love the work you guys do! Can’t wait to pull up a bowl of miniaturized candy and watch these! Thank you guys for all the great shows! Bravo!

  4. yes! YEEEESSSSS! the homoerotic Elm St flick, potentially the funniest Friday, and an underrated personal favourite. I’m really going to enjoy these. thanks guys

    1. I fall very much into this category, the closest I get to watching horror movies is looking up their plots on Wikipedia. Also I’m hella busy with school right now, and haven’t even been able to keep up with the podcasts for the last few weeks, so I’m afraid I’ll probably be passing on this one, sorry guys :/

      1. relax guys. these movies are dated and easily tolerable. Halloween 3 has some gnarly gore effects, but that’s all I feel I need to warn you about.

  5. Cant wait to hear your thoughts on Halloween 3. I sumed it up on my youtube review as “The equivalent of Avengers 2 with no Avengers in the actual movie.” Donation on its way.

  6. Donated! Have’t seen any of these movies and I am scared to death by horror movies, so I hope these are 80’s enough that I can handle it.
    Even though I haven’t seen it, Jason X probably would have been a fun choice I think.

  7. between this and the comments on the new LT episode, I’m finally starting to realise how young a lot of community is. makes me feel old.

  8. I don’t give a shit about any of these movies, but that’s not why I buy these commentaries. I buy them because you guys manage to turn the most boring, inane content into some of the funniest and most enjoyable pieces of entertainment I can find. I will definitely be buying these, but not for a few more weeks.

  9. Considering I actually have some free cash right now and couldn’t be a bigger horror movie/ Halloween (holiday) fan, I’m definitely gonna contribute. Interesting list, and a nice excuse for me to watch Nightmare 2 since I’ve never actually seen it.

  10. Chris do you think you could better outline what donating goes towards? I always assumed hosting and equipment costs but lately you’ve been joking (?) about buying Disney Infinity Figurines and I’m not into DONATING for you to get toys. Otherwise take all my money to keep the Laser Train going.

    1. So, to clarify, you’re complaining that a pop culture and video game based site used your money to buy pop culture and video game related items to talk about on their shows and streams???

    2. I just wonder why people are so against supporting people you love if they use the money they get from a product (the podcasts) for personal things but you are fine buying huge companies products when theirs just goes towards new cars and shit like that. No one is forcing a donation but it seems like a weird double standard.

      1. So its I’m the only one that doesn’t want his money to go into things that aren’t actually LaserTime but Chris’ growing collection? If I wanted my money going to Disney I would buy shit from Disney. How is that a double standard? I can’t see a Stitch Figure on the podcast.

        I love donating to the podcasts.

          1. It is a valid concern and why I haven’t donated so far even with a job that I make 440 a week at. If I wanted to pay for a grown man’s toys and weed, I would buy it for myself sorry :/

            I get jokes and having fun, the equipment on this site needs to be upgraded and sorry defenders but weed and toys will not fix it.

          2. Make any excuse for not donating you want, and better yet, please keep it to yourself. We were donated just over $100 EXPRESSLY for a Disney Infinity stream (thanks to those generous people) and I’ve spent maybe $50 on medical marijuana in the last seven months. If you don’t want to donate, fucking don’t. But I’m more than a little tired of a bunch of gossipy hens cackling increasingly outlandish rumors about where the money goes. Be stingy, be proud, shut the fuck up.

    3. I’m with you on this actually. I don’t have a problem with it but after hearing for the past…at least year, that this laptop is broken and they need a new one, I have to wonder how much of the money donated has been put aside to fix that specific problem. And I get that Chris needs the money to just LIVE in general but I also would like to see if our donations are actually making progress in terms of fixing those podcast problems that have been constantly brought up.

  11. Will donate after work. Hopefully these work a little better than the last bunch. I had issues where the commentaries of Predator and the part of No Holds Barred I watched kept falling out of sync with the movie. Running Man and The Hate Pack both worked fine though.

  12. Well, obviously I’m donating to this (actually I already did). I would NEVER watch these movies otherwise (not a horror guy. At all) so this should be fun. Also, seeing as its just about Thanksgiving here in the north, the timing on this makes me laugh.

    I’m always happy to donate, love the show and all, but I do wish you guys would make a Patreon account or something. I know you don’t like the idea, you’ve got your reasons and that’s fine. I’ll support you this way just the same. But if you DID have a Patreon, I really think a lot of this would get streamlined… a few of the packs never arrived for me and the Godzilla one cut off halfway through.

    But I mean, you guys deserve 10 bucks a month anyway, so I’m not actually sore about it. Keep up the awesome work guys!

    1. ignore my dumbass comments. got my commentaries just fine. 4 times now and I still can’t get my head around the delivery method.

  13. Not the biggest horror fan but eh, might as well donate a little extra towards on top of my regular monthly amount so that y’all can buy Halloween candy and such 🙂

  14. Just to confirm, got my commentaries fine (just as I did the previous times) and I’m prepping Freddy’s Revenge as we speak.

  15. Blegh, really not a fan of horror movies but I’m donating regardless, once I get payed that is. Hopefully I just put em on without thinking and still enjoy the commentary.

  16. Great work all around guys. I just finished Halloween III, and holy shit, drunk sex doctor could be Zap Rowsdower’s brother or something

  17. Just donated… hopefully I’ll get the commentaries this time around. Glad to support the great work you do. Keep it up!

    1. Ok paypal is going through some things right now ill donate as soon as I can it might even be tomorrow. If I dont get the commentaries that is fine I will still donate.

  18. Happy to donate, commentaries or not. Thankfully I’m 6 weeks into a promotion and will now be able to contribute regularly to maybe my favourite podcasts on the net. <3 eyes, motherfucker.

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