Vidjagame Apocalypse 84 – Cold Pursuit

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Alien: Isolation’s deviously malicious xenomorph has been getting a lot of (mixed) praise lately, but it’s hardly the first randomized creeper to have chased us through a game. This week, we celebrate five of our favorite relentless, indestructible pursuers, then switch gears to talk about Isolation and Shadow of Mordor before moving on to the fictional universes you’d love to see through the eyes of a new or minor character.

Question of the Week

Assuming any and all your carefully laid survival plans were to fall apart at the last minute, how would you realistically rate your chances of survival in a society-collapsing zombie apocalypse?

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43 thoughts on “Vidjagame Apocalypse 84 – Cold Pursuit

  1. QOTW: Well, given that I’m one of those fucks that has to take daily medication just to not die, my chances were never great to begin with. So I’d say my odds regardless are a 0/10

    1. Although, if state of decay taught me anything, then within the first five minutes o the apocalypse i’d accidentally fall from the top of a radio tower and die anyway

  2. Well we all know that humans are the most dangerous things in the apocalypse, so I am sure I wouldn’t survive long until I inevitably put on a wig and started sucking dicks for safety.

  3. Living in the UK, it would depend where it started. If it started within the UK or Western Europe, I would be screwed given the smaller landmass and dense population BUT if outside, I know our society and government would be paranoid and xenophobic enough to lock down all traffic in and out of the country/island, giving me and others enough time to prepare if anything does manage to cross over.

  4. I’d say my chances would be low. I am a 6’2 Latino guy that’s overweight by around 40 ponds and does zero exercise. So physically speaking I’m not in the best shape, but at least I’d have decent reach. However, I’ve always lived a comfortable and sheltered life, i have no basic survival skills, no first aid training, no knowledge of hunting or gathering, or even how to start a fire. I’m a clinical chemist by profession, which also provides zero survival skills either… Save perhaps a very limited knowledge of chemical solvents that could be used as flammable Molotov cocktails. I’m also kinda antisocial and don’t have a lot of friends.

    Honestly, the only reason I could have a decent chance at making it is the fact that I am pretty desensitized to violence, gore and nasty stuff. And also that I don’t really care about other people aside from my family and my fiancée. So in those key first days of the apocalypse it might be easier for me to immediately kill zombies and join a somewhat capable group to survive, or in case they prove to be not so useful, ditch them to find something or someone else. But if were to be with any of the aforementioned people I care about, my fate would probably be tied to them, and none of them have great survival skills either XD

  5. QOTW: Although a mixed bag, fans of the genre will still enjoy my chances of living. So I give my odds of zombie survival a 7/10.

  6. 6/10 I’m tall and wiry and do a little bit of exercise and I actually know someone who can farm, and both of us can hunt, so we would just go live in the harder to get to mountains.

  7. Honestly, I would hope that some people in any type of post-apocalyptic world would still retain the good parts of their humanity, otherwise the world would just go all to hell. With the case of zombies thrown into the mix, if what I mentioned before is there, then I think I could survive it, provide there being plenty of shotguns, machetes, neutron particle accelerators, guns, knives, SHARP STICKS!… (Wow, I just became Sgt. Hicks). You get the idea. If not, we are all better off dead anyways and going into the afterlife.

  8. QOTW: I’m fairly good at building things so provided I have enough supplies or can make it to a Home Depot I feel I could fortify my house fairly well to at least survive the initial collapse. (Provided we are talking George Romero and not 28 Days Later Zombies) Then I’d me more concerned with dealing with human survivors than Zombies. I also exercise my 2nd Amendment rights so that gives me an advantage over probably 50% of the people in my state 🙂 Over all my lack of compassion for my fellow man would probably serve me well in the coming apocalypse and I feel my chances would be fairly good, probably around 75%, higher if I find a group of individuals who are not completely incompetent.

  9. Given that I live in a rural area of Canada that is very sparsely populated and the majority of people are hunters with plenty of small game (rabbits & pheasant) and large (moose,caribou, bear etc) Id say the chances are pretty decent. Realistically I don’t think anyone has more than an 8 just because stuff happens but I’d give myself a 6-6.5 out of 10 for survivability. I think population density and general enviroment sustainability are the biggest factors for surviving a zombie apocolypse personally so yeah I think I’d be ok!

  10. Ann, I am deeply disturbed by you low ranking of basketball, my shriveled little heart is now broken

  11. QOTW: So I’m a relatively healthy person, though not terribly athletic. But honestly, in any sort of apocalyptic scenario/zombie horde/whatever, I realistically think my chances are very low. The whole zombie fantasy thing is largely a way for people like myself to think they could rise above it all and become an unkillable character with plot armor but… Nah.

    I’d most likely be dead within the first week, either by crazed looters or whatever caused the apocalypse.

  12. QOTW: Id have to change my name to Mourne4stallone cause id be dead as fried chciken. P.S. Banning Steve Jobs from life only to follow it up with “Im doing a seance” classic gold.

    1. QOTW: Id have to change my name to Mourne4stallone, cause id be dead as fried chciken. Due to my bodybuilding, I require 200 grams of protein a day. So unless I am hold up in a GNC or Vitamin shop; id do myself in, rather than watch as I loose my gains and look like a DJ Quals Stunt double(Roadtrip guy) P.S. Banning Steve Jobs from life only to follow it up with “Im doing a seance” classic gold.

  13. Why so you all hate sports so much? Everyone talking over Tyler reminded me of being shutdown in the middle school lunch room when I’d try to talk about Nintendo 🙁

  14. I’m sure that the first 3 Resident Evil games are completely unplayable now but they were very good for the time. I was never “likely to be eaten by a Grue” but I would bet that Zork and even the much more recent 7th Guest and Phantasmagoria (both of which I enjoyed at the time) play like shit today as well.

    Resident Evil 2 is widely considered to be one of the greatest games on the PS1.

  15. I’m one of those weirdos that loves the idea of any kind of apocalyptic situation, where I can bust out my (otherwise next to useless) skills and pretend to play hero. I know my way around guns, how to survive off of next to nothing, filter water, etc. I’d like to consider myself the hero type that survives longer than anyone else, but in reality I think I’m more of the Dale Gribble type (Shhshhshaw!) I’m just a skinny paranoid white guy with a Mountain Dew addiction. That being said,I think I’d have a decent chance given the skills that I have, surviving weeks or even months.

  16. Given that I live in Texas, and everyone in my family including my 8 year niece have guns of all makes and models, and we live near Stop 6, a factually predominantly gang-ridden low income neighborhood, I think my chances are kinda good. Since zombies are easily killable and I’m desensitized from my teenage years of a heavy rotten.com and gore gallery phase, I think I’ll be fine lol

    1. Now the REAL QUESTION would be if aliens or demons or any other mythological creature but slow moving easily killable zombies invaded real life, what would be my chances of survival.

      I also don’t feel society would descend into barbarism as quickly as media thinks it would in a zombie contagion. It would get rough but I feel it would work out like Resident Evil 2/3- government quarantine and then containment with artillery.

  17. Chris, I don’t know if you have a grudge against Capcom because you aren’t working there anymore or just want to have an opinion that contradicts many others people views, but I think you’re pretty off the mark about the old Resident Evil games.

    Especially considering that you talk about how unplayable they are because of the controls, then go on to praise the remake which has the same tank controls!

    Also, belittling people who do like it is just unnecessary.

  18. This episode is “Chris Hates Stuff: The Podcast”.

    Also, do we really need a high-pitched Chris Antista as an irritating useless break in each episode?

  19. QOTW: I would say without hesitation that when all my plans fail in the zombie apocalypse, I will resort to full on insanity. No denying that. I’m talking all naked all the time, making up imaginary friends and communicating with them with a language that combines the language that Leeloo spoke Fifth Element and jive, assuming everything from the Zombie Survival Guide is fact, deliver rants on how Mad About You was the single greatest show in human history, just real insane stuff. I’ll either get shot in the head by a passerby or reign as king of a new civilization.

  20. QOTW: I won’t be the strongest man in the wastes, nor the smartest, but I think I can make it so that I’m one of the richest. See, most survival guides are geared toward lasting long enough for rescue but don’t talk about building a survivalist economy.

    My best chance, I think, is to go old-school and grab as much salt and other spices while I can during the loot blitz. Without proper storage facilities; meat goes rank pretty quick but back in the old days salt was used to preserve it (and cover the taste of rot). It’s a tad difficult to come by and produce if you don’t know how, so as supplies dwindle; it will only become more valuable.

    This way, my fat ass can lumber camp-to-camp; trading meals and supplies for spices without doing a damn bit of hunting. Now I am an Eagle Scout, so I imagine I’d actually do okay in the initial survival stages (I do know how to hunt, shoot, and hunker if I *have* to), but when we get to the tribal stages; I’m going to be some lard-bellied spice lord with a harem of slave girls. –The sort of guy who has his mercenaries do all his fighting for him until some Lone Wanderer puts me down as I flail helplessly against my own weight in a vain attempt to flee.

  21. Anyone know the name of that bubble bobble remix that was played in old Talkradar bumpers? It uses the ‘and it goes a little somethin like this’ sample.

  22. Anne, there once was a comic miniseries called Super-Human Resources. It was by one of those mid-2000s transient indie comic companies, so I’m not sure if it’s available anywhere.

  23. QOTW: I don’t have any plans for the zombie apocalypse. Pretty much planned to wing it if that shit started going down. I’m in “OK” shape so my survivability might be good if it’s the slow zombie apocalypse. If it’s fast zombies that run like Olympic sprinters and never get tired a-la Dawn of the Dead 2004 we are all boned in the behind. 28 Days Later doesn’t count, those things eventually starve to death. In either situation I’m going to do what any sensible person would do in that situation. Go completely and utterly insane, grab all the digital recorders at the local office supply store, record a bunch of audio logs on them, and scatter them all over Brooklyn while trying to make my way to the countryside while Manhattan rips itself apart. All the message will have reference to key codes for nearby “stashes” filled with “the goods.” The key codes will be made up numbers and the stashes won’t exist. This will hopefully distract any survivors into backtracking through previously explored areas. This probably won’t increase my odds of survival but I’ll at least get a giggle out of it before being devoured by zombies or killed for my pants.

  24. QOTW: This is ironic that this question came up. This will be a long one but stay with me on it. This past weekend I ran a Zombie 5k at a local university. It was hosted by the physical therapy department, and had around 140 participants along with 50 or so Zombies that was played by said department. We were given 3 pieces of that plastic stretchy tape (the name slips my mind) and were told to wrap it around our midsections and that if a zombie pulled one off it counts for one life. I consider myself if good condition due to keeping up my military P.T. days and was running with a group from a local VA hospital who were in good shape as well. The run began by the announcer being attacked by a zombie that ran out from the woods. Not even 100 yards away zombies began to poor out from the surrounding woods. Right off the bat my team mates got split up except for my buddy who was ex-army (the other two were chair force so go figure jk.). People were being taken down left and right, it was absolute chaos. Everything was hectic and we did quite well until we came across a narrow path with 3 zombies in it. We sprinted through, zigzagging to through off the zombies. I got through and was looking over my shoulder to my buddy when all of the sudden a FUCKING zombie jumps down from a tree and tackles my pal. Well in the real thing he would be dead so I continued. Many other scares came about but I wont go into it. I was about .25 miles away from the finish line and I was thrilled. Damn, another narrow path with trees on one side and parked cars on the other. I was jogging, until a zombie bursts out and began to full speed chase me. It was a trap……… not even 5 seconds later a little hiding motherfucking bitch of a zombie jumps out between 2 cars and kills me off. So what is the conclusion? I survived about 27.5 minutes.

  25. It depends where it happens. If I’m at college, I probably won’t last long. If I’m at home in the middle of rural nowhere, it’ll take years for the zombies to reach me. We’ve got the acres of land to grow our food and we already have guns because my family hunts and I trap shoot, so we can pick off the few stragglers that make it.

  26. To answer the question of the week, None of us would last very long because pretty much every zombie movie ever glosses over something that would basically ruin everyones potential survival strategy: there would be zombie animals. Think about that for a second…Zombies raid a Zoo, the animals get self defensive and attack the zombies with their claws, horns, beaks, mouths, etc. Inevitably, they’d get infected and become zombified too, and I’m pretty sure we’re not going to do well against zombie parrots and lions and whatnot. Only reason you NEVER see that in a zombie movie is because animals are hard to work with, and will lick off their zombie makeup. Unfortunately, that just made everyone that consumes those types of movies get lazy and never notice that. So, yeah, we’re fucked.

  27. QOTW: Oh, I’d be fine. I have survival first aid and orienteering certifications, and have completed several survival backpacking treks, including a three-week solo hike through the Icelandic highlands a couple summers ago, and another through the Washington Olympic mountains this summer. I’m kind of an outdoors-nut, and own a bunch of high qulity gear and tools that’d make survival pretty easy.

    Then again, I’d also be a pretty good target of fellow survivors because of that gear, so actually, maybe I’d be fucked.

  28. Top 5 related: Don’t know why since it’s nearly 10 years since I played it but the Dahaka from Prince of Persia: Warrior Within was the first thing that came to my mind regarding relentless stalkers. If you ignore Godsmack those bits were actually a really cool bit of frantic chasing which still gave the player a good deal of control.

    Actually looking back, that whole game was awesome, got slammed at the time because of the brooding Prince and cliched aesthetic but the combat was actually far superior to Sands of Time: wait, what does this have to do with anything??? (Anne, I want more Prince of Persia and less Assassins Creed from Ubisoft, tell Mr Ubisoft!)

  29. is there any chance you guys could not scream into the Mics? Michael and Tyler were blowing my ear drums!
    really missed Henry on this episode, please try and include him more in the vidjagames apocalyse episodes please, as for QOTW, i replied in the forums.

    try and be a bit more positive Chris, you really should do a playthrough of RE3 Nemisis, Jill valentine shines in that despite her awful choice of clothing (( i think Jennifer Hale voices her)

    love the Racoon as always, i love that you make it original and diffrent each time, i skip the ads on other podcasts (GB im looking at you)

  30. Are we reacting to just being aware of this going on? Or do I just wake up one day, go outside and it’s Dead Rising 3? If it’s the former, then I’d cry upon realizing I lied to everyone about ever really having a plan before burying myself in isolation like the Chinese coal miner who was found to have survive 17 years that way. If it’s the latter, then I’d say “oh wow-” before quickly dying.

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