With Halloween fast approaching, the time to plan your Halloween costume is now. I offer to you a quick list of totally awesome, but not immediately recognizable Halloween costumes you can pull off with one trip to your local Goodwill.
Costume one, Louie dePalma from Taxi. As any kid from the 80s can tell you, no one tops Danny Devito’s stellar taxi cab manager when it comes to the slimy but lovable boss. Bonus points for being short and slightly balding.
Costume two, yoked out saxophone guy from Lost Boys. His actual name is Tim Capello, but he will forever be known as “that roided out sax player guy from dat vampire movie.” Finding a real saxophone will be challenging, so settle for a blow up one. Bonus points for hitting the gym prior to dawning the costume.
Costume three, Sam “Guitar Rift” Anders from Clarissa Explains It All. This costume is likely the most niche costume on this list, but this can be remedied with one thing: a window to climb in from, a la “bro man from the fifth floor,” followed by a snazzy guitar rift. Bonus points for actually bringing a window with you.
Costume four, Malcolm and Eddie from Malcolm and Eddie. Now this costume does require a friend, but will make at least one guy or girl feel important when they see you and immediately realize who you are. Bonus points if you can find a third friend who is also tall and preferably large in stature to play Big Tim.
Costume five, any member of the short lived but sweet martial arts show WMAC Masters. This costume idea will also work perfectly for large groups. But if going solo, you must go as Michael Bernardo’s Turbo because he would have most likely won the coveted “Dragon Star” had the series continued into Season 2. Bonus points for actually having martial arts skills, and partial points for taking a lesson before dressing up.
Costume six, Jimmy McNulty from The Wire. This costume is a risky one because it requires you to be drunk in public while attempting to pick up chicks and uphold the law while also not paying your alimony. Bonus points for actually being Irish or having sex in public involving a car hood. Or both.
Last but not least, costume seven, Lincoln Hawk. “Who?” Stop reading now if you actually said that out loud. Just kidding…but I’m not. I am. Sylvester Stallone’s heart breaking character study of a truck driver with a heart of gold and a Popeye-like trigger in Over the Top. There’s no spinach involved, but a simple hat-turned-backwards signifies that “its go time.” All that is required is a backwards trucker hat, and you’re ready to go. By far the cheapest costume idea on this list and my personal recommendation. Bonus points for actually arm wrestling someone while turning the hat backwards.
Well there you have it, a short but informative list of Halloween costumes sure to make someone’s day brighter, or possibly more confused. Either way, it’s better than wearing a Walmart brand Captain America Winter solider costume or a lame and played out zombie/vampire/pirate costume from isle three. Until next time, fellow Laser Time readers. Keep your copies of Assassins on repeat and never trade in that HD DVD copy of Daylight. Never.
Article by contributor David Batarseh.
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