Correctly picking WWE results can be hellish, but if you’re accurate enough, you can choose the closer for an upcoming Cheap Popcast segment. Read on for Dave’s Hell in a Cell 2014 picks and then make yours!
Hey all! First off, THIS IS THE LAST WEEK THAT YOU CAN PICK UP OUR 1980s HORROR MOVIE COMMENTARY PACKS SO GO DO THAT. It’s the cheesiest entries from the Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween franchises. The former two are yours at any price, while the third one is added to the fray for just five bucks. Secondly, I hope you all enjoyed our recent look into what might be the last TNA Pay-Per-View everbut now it’s time to focus back on the big dog and their upcoming event. And what better way than with predictions!
As we’ve been doing for awhile now, the reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of Night of Champions. Of the seven matches that took place, I only correctly guessed three results, as I blanked on the lesser singles titles and like many others, didn’t expect a screwjob ending. The winner of last month’s predictions contest was moan4stallone, who got five-out-of-seven, so m4s’ choice will close our next episode and it’s a good one for Halloween The Brood’s WWE theme.
Anywho, here’s how the prediction contest goes. I’m going to make my picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners if any), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker. Just check out my predictions as a guideline.
What does the winner get? Well, you can make your mark on the next PPV-themed Cheap Popcast episode by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out before throwing to our episode-ender. Let’s kick off the predictions!
TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: GOLD AND STARDUST (CHAMPS) VS THE USOS
I don’t think WWE would go through the effort of transforming Cody Rhodes just to give him a one-month title reign. WWE needs to build its tag division back up, and since there’s not really a sizable amount of teams on either the face or heel side, they can keep the straps on the bad guys. Gold and Stardust wins.
UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: SHEAMUS (CHAMP) VS THE MIZ
Ooh, this is a tough one. I don’t think Sheamus necessarily needs the belt, and while I think The Miz and Mizdow could benefit from some gold, I think they would have just kept him as IC Champ if they thought he had a singles run. Instead, I’m hoping WWE continues to recognize how hilarious the Miz-Mizdow dynamic is and put them in the tag division. Sheamus wins.
DIVAS TITLE MATCH: AJ (CHAMP) VS PAIGE
While these two have had a pretty good run, it’s time for both to move onto something new. Paige has been the real breakout star of this feud while AJ has been at half-speed as of late (it doesn’t help that WWE continually puts more focus on the less-interesting-by-the-day Bella feud). I think Paige finally deserves a good run as Divas champ against new challengers, so I say Paige wins.
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: DOLPH ZIGGLER (CHAMP) VS CESARO
This one has “match of the night” potential written all over it. While it would be even greater if the two hadn’t already had two matches in the last week, Cesaro has proven that he thrives even more in multiple-fall matches. Yet another IC title swap won’t do any favors for Dolph, and I think that Cesaro could potentially move further up the card, so I say Ziggler wins.
THE BIG SHOW VS RUSEV
Here’s a no-brainer. What good does stopping Rusev’s streak do for The Big Show? It’s Cena or a super-big debut for a rookie, and Show is neither of those. Rusev wins.
BRIE BELLA VS NIKKI BELLA
Apparently the winner of this match is the loser’s personal assistant for a month. Heels almost always win the “protracted embarrassment for the loser” matches, so I say Nikki wins.
HELL IN A MATCH: DEAN AMBROSE VS SETH ROLLINS
After months of forfeits and lame stipulation matches, seeing Ambrose and Rollins in a match that matches their respective hardcore and high-flyer styles should make for a pretty rad match. While I hope it goes on last, I don’t think the WWE realizes which match fans are truly tuning in to see. Rollins needs a bit of the old “Money in the Bank guy starts losing a lot,” and there’s no better way to start that than with a good butt whuppin. Ambrose wins.
HELL IN A MATCH FOR NUMBER ONE CONTENDER: JOHN CENA VS RANDY ORTON
So we’ve come to this. Brock Lesnar hasn’t been on TV in a month and nobody knows when he’ll be competing again due to his unique contract. As a result, we’ve got these two squaring off for the umpteenth time, but this time there’s a twist! I’m actually rooting for Orton for once (as opposed to not caring at all)! As much as their Summerslam match was a spectacle, I wouldn’t be able to stand a third consecutive Cena-Brock match. I don’t think the WWE has confidence enough for an Orton-Brock match, so I’m going to go off the beaten path and say the two get booked for a triple threat match when the match ends in a draw in 22 minutes.
Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, the running time for the final match listed, as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!