Laser Time – Irrational Fears


Combing through stupid phobias and irrational panic in order to find out who is the biggest coward of the group! Our psychological dysfunction is your gain…


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Did you enjoy our Laser Time’s Lil’ Toons episode ago?

Well, then you owe it to yourself to check out out Top 5 Tiny Toons Games video! That and plenty more undiscovered beauty on the Laser Time YouTube Channel

38 thoughts on “Laser Time – Irrational Fears

  1. Oh man, just by the title alone I can already tell this is gonna be great! can’t wait to listen! 😀

    Also, might sound like a buzzkill answer, but I don’t think I have any true irrational fear. The closest thing I can think of is being mildly unnerved by groups of teenagers or the high pitch sound of a dentist’s drill. And I having been bullied repeatedly in middle school by mobs, and had almost every single teeth tampered with, I think I have plenty of reason to feel uncomfortable by both.

  2. As a 22 year old 6’4 300lb guy I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been terribly afraid of all insects since i was about 8 years old. I went on a camping trip with some random church group for some stupid reason and I woke up in my sleeping bag covered in bugs. To this day even a dead cricket can keep me out of my bedroom for a week….

  3. Chris, the reason you aren’t dreaming the way you used to is because of the ‘California medicine.’ I used to dream vividly before I started that. Quit, dreams came right back.

    1. Depression can also do it. I swear to Christ I had maybe only like 200 dreams a year over the past 10, and many of them were WORK-RELATED. Don’t do what they told ya. Just got back on the “medicine” a few months ago, at once or twice a month, tons of beer, and having fights with my boss. DREAMING FINE.

      Make your days odd and interesting. Your brain will feel the need to back that up far more than “every day is exactly the same.” After all, that’s what your dreams are: subconscious self-examination/revelation, and imprinting memories of the day.

  4. I have two- I hate spiders of course but my true irrational one is that I have a fear of ghosts even though I’m agnostic. I have had some moments in my life where I MIGHT have been haunted or seen ghosts but to be frank, I was a kid and I have been severe Bipolar and on meds since I was 8… so… probably not ghosts…

    However the thought of being haunted by Bethsheba or Kayako Saeki still bothers me on a primal level.

  5. My Irrational fear is porcelin dolls. They can do nothing to me, nor will they realistically ever be able to do anything to me but goddamn I seriously can’t even look at them. I just get really panicky for no reason.

  6. Kidney stone at 23? Shit mine was at 21. Had another one at 23 and another at 24. Fucking suck.

    Now every time I have any kind of back pain, I am afraid I will have a kidney stone. I’m 26 now so been living with this for years.

  7. I haven’t listened to this yet, but the title “Irrational Fears” followed by a picture of Ebola is perfect.

    Since I bet this asks what our fears are, the only one I have is a massive fear of heights (although falling from a really high place really would kill you, so I’m not willing to say it’s totally irrational).

  8. Having an actual bona fide phobia is the worst. To me what makes a phobia different from the stuff discussed on this episode is the same base of irrational fear but it ceaselessly fucks with your brain. There are days in summer when I won’t go outside because there are lots of bee-attracting flowers around my house. Twice when starting new plays I’ve had people announce to everyone not to mention bees for my sake. Another sucky thing is telling someone you have a phobia there first reaction is “Oh, so you’d hate it if I said *insert something about bees that triggers me and makes me want to die*. One time my mom forgot about my phobia and when I reminded her she said “Oh, that’s right, did you hear about that woman who *insert the worst possible story to tell someone who has a fear of bees*” For the most part only people who have other phobias or anxiety issues or have dealt with someone who has understand how to handle stuff.

  9. Hmmm…. Irrational fears. Well, for me it’s social anxiety. Just walking down the street felt weird for me, never mind talking to people. I guess listening to stand up comedy since I was a kid kind of got me over that a lot of times since it made it easier to look back at my problems in a different light. For me, things got a lot better when I learnt to deal with it instead of just forcing myself out. Then I gradually started to get better. Little things like listening to podcasts while going out also helped. These days I’m much better though. Not 100% yet, and not sure I ever will, but at least now I’m pretty sure I can handle it. Everybody has irrational fears, right?

  10. Boy do I have a ton. Around the time of the 2004 tsunami in South Asia, I was paranoid about the idea that that could possibly happen to us over here. I mean, there’s water near New York, we’re as good as dead. (Keep in mind, I was 10) Recently though, I’ve been getting afraid of ISIS. Every time I hear a plane fly over my house, the first thought that crosses my mind is, “Oh shit, is this it?!”

    1. Another one that I have is the fear of my car getting stolen. Whenever I park my car I click the lock button on the key at least 3 or 4 times. You know, just to be safe. Then when I’m walking away, I have the thought of “Did I remember to lock the car?” then I will run all the way back just to lock it for a 5th time for good fucking measure. Sometimes my dad takes my car to work if he needs to, and a few weeks ago, around 5 A.M. the sound of him starting up the car woke me up and I thought that someone else had stolen it. I went upstairs and woke my mom to ask her if dad took the car and then called him to make sure he indeed had the car. I just realized how crazy I sound after reading this. I’m a wreck!

  11. With the “Dildo factory” shout out and windows phone comment I’m wondering if this episode has been in the hopper for awhile.

    p.s. Please refer to Lasertime as the “Dildo factory” more often

  12. Fuck this is a great episode topic. If I had to pick one irrational fear, I’d have to go with the concept of open space/ deep space or whatever you want to call it. Basically, when I think about how infinity large the universe is I kind of panic a little bit and if space travel opened up in my lifetime I’d probably become a crazy tinfoil hat wearing recluse because I couldn’t comprehend the scope of what’s going on. That being said, ironically enough, I do really like Sci-Fi stuff like Star Trek TNG where it’s just about going as far into space as possible and trying to find what else is out there, even though I’d shit myself if ever faced with the possibility of doing it myself.

  13. My irrational fear used to be “water in a platformer,” because that almost always meant there was a giant fish or shark waiting to eat you if you fell in. That’s worse than a bottomless pit.

    Then, a few years ago, I found this:

    NOTE: Canis Majoris has been dethroned as the largest star. Still, walking the circumference of CM at a standard human rate of speed would take around an estimated 655,000 years. Knowing there are entities that large in existence make me curl up in bed for days on end.

  14. I do not have any “irrational fears”, the closest I could come would be a semi fear of heights, but it’s not the height that bothers me, it’s the thought of falling to my death which I consider a very rational fear 🙂 For example being high up on a building or on the edge of a cliff does not bother me. However being on my roof which is a good gradient to it where I have a good possibility of sliding and falling off does bother me.

  15. Great episode! Don’t think I have any irrational fears. The only thing I can think comes close is having stage fright in public bathrooms. For some reason I can’t pee when I know people are waiting behind me.

    Also, great to hear the LT crew’s experience with hoarding. My father was a semi-hoarder so I totally know what it’s like to be surrounded by it.

  16. I’m terribly afraid of storm drains. Even as a 20 year old, 230 pound man, I will cross the street to avoid walking over one and potentially falling in.

    Also normal people irrational fears like losing all of my friends or not having a city I can call home.

  17. When I was a kid I was afraid of vampires. I used to think they would appear from my closet. So I would always make sure my closet doors were closed before I went to bed and I would always cover my neck with extra shirts, scarves, or just anything that was lying around. This was excruciating during the summer because my room didn’t have AC. Now as an adult the only thing I’m really afraid of is being BURIED ALIVE. My friends make fun of it and don’t think its a plausible fear. But I make fun of their fears of clowns and rejection.

  18. My irrational fear usually happens when I go to work on the 4th floor of my office building. For some reason, every so often in the day, I imagine the sensation of the laws of gravity going topsy turvy and the chaos that would take place in such a moment. Obviously, it’s not a paralyzing fear but it is a terrifying scenario I keep bringing up in my mind at work. I normally don’t think about it at my home since it is a one story house. Another irrational fear I have is when I worry I left anything on at my house that could start a fire and all of my pets would end up burning alive in their confined cages and the guilt of such a moment fills me with terror. I guess such a fear is understandable rather than irrational.

    I wanted to comment on the nuclear blast fear but I don’t have the fear but a rather bizarre admiration for the scenario. I usually have re-occurring dreams where while standing next to a window, I see a large nuclear blast off in the distance. These moments usually lead to me feeling at peace because the end of my life is right in front of me and it is only a matter of moments before the blast’s force or radiation will finally hit me. I know, it’s a bit dark and depressing but it somehow gives me the idea of peace with my final moments of consciousness.

    I will end this on a light hearted note by saying Wow! Bob Mackey!

  19. Also after listening I need to add that I have a massive scar on my leg from falling into a sewer grate in mexico.

  20. So, my fear is extra-irrational. Since I was little, any time I had to walk into my kitchen at night, I was afraid that I’d turn on the light and a monster would just be standing there, staring at me. I’m 26, and I still get kinda creeped out when I have to walk into my kitchen and turn on the light, because some adolescent part of my brain still expects a monster to be there. I’m almost certain that the whole thing is because of a scene in fucking “Harry and the Hendersons” where this exact scenario actually plays out.

  21. Great episode! I’d love to hear you guys do more episodes where you talk about random experiences, even if it’s not pop-culture related.
    As for my irrational fear I kinda have anxiety related to heights, except for me it’s the fear that I’m gonna randomly jump off the ledge or something.

  22. Just to let you guys know, I have a wife and two small children and I STILL have that missing-college-class-to-graduate dream every so often. It NEVER goes away.

  23. Great episode! Really enjoyed it, your stream of stories style was really engaging and fun to listen to

  24. I disagree that 30 days of night is a bad film.

    Anyway my irrational fear is giving blood, I’ve had to have blood tests before and never really cared but at some stage I started blacking out randomly after injections. Now even the thought of giving blood makes me feel sick, but I’m ok with getting other jabs for things.
    I don’t even know what I think would happen.

  25. I can’t have my feet exposed when I’m trying to sleep. Okay, so the lights are off and I’m in bed, with no socks and feet uncovered trying to sleep, my mind decides to think “there’s a shadow something under the bed (with long shadowy fingers), that will touch your toes/feet and maybe drag you under the bed, alright see-ya”. Now that thought won’t leave my head until I ether put my socks back on or fold the bed cover under my feet so they’re covered, so it cant get me. Now its hot and harder to sleep and the cycle continues. I recently got a new smaller bed, which has fabric covering the entire frame. Now its laying on the floor of the bed near my feet.
    I have no idea where this came from.

    Similar to FlailingKermit, but for me, i have to check stove and taps/faucet a few times to make sure they’re off. I usually stand there checking repeatedly until my brain decides “okay its good.Wait! one more time”.

    Then there’s the dreams of my teeth falling out, the feelings in the dream I’ve had so often it spilled out into the waking world. I hate that dream.

  26. My biggest irrational fears are weird.

    I am deathly afraid of planes flying over me (not the idea of them crashing, just that they are above me) and of any kind of large transmitter ie cellphone towers, TV broadcast towers, radar devices etc. I also sometimes panic if I stare at the sky for a while.

    None of these are jokes – once I was immobilised by a panic attack when I suddenly became aware that I was walking past the radar array at my local airport. Another time I had to put my umbrella up and hide behind it when I had to walk close by a cellphone tower. Similar things I’m afraid of are the larger towers used for running powerlines and the big radio antennas hobby radio enthusiasts have on their houses.

    I have a fear of needles for giving blood or receiving shots or tetanus etc, but I think a lot of people have that so idk if it’s weird.

    Also, I really like the sky at night and looking at the moon, but in the daytime when I look straight up and see just nothing but blue that terrifies me. Oh, and also spiders. Fuck spiders.

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