Cheap Predictions: Pick WWE Royal Rumble 2015 results and win!

Toss your WWE Royal Rumble predictions out of the ring and right towards us! If you’re the most accurate, you can choose the closer for an upcoming segment! Read on for Dave, Henry, and Brett’s Royal Rumble picks and then make yours!

As we’ve been doing for awhile now, the reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of TLC 2014. My own personal predictions were decent, as I went 6-for-9 on my picks. Most predictors fell underneath that line (nobody predicted an Usos victory and even fewer had Rowan slated to lose). As far as this month’s winner goes, we’ve never had a closer race. Both Ampatent and TheMantista went 7-for-9, so we had to go to the last match listed’s running time as the tie-breaker. The running time for Cena-Rollins was 23:34. TheMantista had 23:00. However, Ampatent pulled a reverse Price is Right and predicted 23:01 earlier, so he wins the contest by a single second! Ampatent chose the Kurt Angle original, “I Don’t Suck.”, but I might throw to The Mantista’s pick for the break just because he was so close.

Anywho, here’s how the prediction contest goes. I’m going to make my picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners if any), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker. Just check out my predictions as a guideline. As a bonus, we now have two additional predictors for the event; Cheap Popcast mainstays Brett Elston and Henry Gilbert! While we haven’t decided the prize yet; the three Popcast headliners will have some sort of competitive wager for their predictions.

What does the winning commenter get, though? Well, you can make your mark on the next PPV-themed Cheap Popcast episode by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out on next month’s episode. Got it? Good. Now, the predictions!

DAVE’S PICK: Even though this sextet tore the house down on Main Event earlier this month (look it up on Hulu), everything else about this match makes me sad. The New Day busted down to the pre-show in their first two PPV cards? Kidd’s continued under-utilzation? Cesaro’s de-push? The fact that this match might keep Kofi and Cesaro out of the rumble? If anything, I hope the elimination stipulation helps boost a few stars. I say this comes down to Big E and Cesaro, the two get a good hoss fight in, and The New Day wins.
HENRY’S PICK: The New Day, because the world is terribly unjust to the great Cesaro.
BRETT’S PICK: New Day because Adam Rose is poison to everyone. Regardless of who wins, the loser of this match is DOA.

The WWE has really shat on The Ascension since their debut, and having seven old dudes berate and beat them down on Raw was the cherry on the shit sundae. I’m really hoping the company puts some effort into building The Ascension up with an absolute slaughtering here, as I REALLY don’t want to see the NAO get another ‘Mania run. The Ascension wins.
HENRY’S PICK: The Ascension beat the old men to death, likely pinning Billy Gunn, because Dogg usually avoids painful bumps these days.
BRETT’S PICK: Please let it be Ascension, if only to give them some heat for beating up a popular(?) team.

DAVE’S PICK: Boy, the Divas division is kinda spinning their wheels right now, aren’t they? I’m holding out a slight hope they’ll give the title a decent boost for ‘Mania, where Charlotte and Natalya can provide an encore of their amazing NXT bout. I say Natalya scores a pin here, snags the title next month, and we don’t have a schmozz of a Divas match at WWE’s biggest show for the first time in ages. Paige and Natalya.
HENRY’S PICK: The Bella Twins via Twin Magic / Paige betraying Nattie.
BRETT’S PICK: Paige and Natalya… now that Paige is on Total Divas, maybe she gets to have an actual angle?

DAVE’S PICK: As much as I’ve loved Miz and Mizdow, I think the gimmick’s best days are behind it. The Usos will probably carry the straps into ‘Mania (possibly to drop them to The Ascension), so they need a few more convincing victories under their belts. Usos win.
HENRY’S PICK: Seems like the breakup is coming, so I’m betting MIZDOW costs Miz the match via goofy stuff. Usos win.
BRETT’S PICK: Usos win, and this leads to Mizdow dissension.

DAVE’S PICK: As great as the Royal Rumble match can be, it never really has a satisfying ending. The last few have been “overpushed guy prevails,” and you’d have to go back to Edge, Mysterio, or even Voldemort to find one where the internet darling won. I think they’re going to finally buck the trend and make up for last year’s Rumble. Final four: Bryan, Roman, Ambrose, and Wyatt. Ambrose and Roman eliminate each other (starting dissension there), Bryan finally gets revenge on Wyatt, Daniel Bryan wins.
HENRY’S PICK: I think Reigns because Vince wants it and refuses to listen to people. In a repeat of Punk, Bryan will annoyingly get shoved into an ‘important’ program w/ Brock or something while keeping the main event free for the golden boy that Philly crowd will boo outta town. I will be sad. Final Four: Bryan, Reigns, Ziggler, Wyatt
BRETT’S PICK: I WANT Taker to be surprise 30, win, then face Lesnar at WM but I figure Reigns wins. Maybe Bryan?

DAVE’S PICK: A month ago, I would have said Brock was a lock to get to ‘Mania. However, he’s been on TV burning through paydays so much lately that I’m not sure if they’re going to keep him around much longer. The nature of the match also makes it so Lesnar can lose the title and free him up for something different, but I’m sticking to my guns. Lesnar’s downfall has to end at WrestleMania to properly pass the torch. Brock Lesnar wins in 21 minutes.
HENRY’S PICK: Brock should win, but I think they don’t trust him in main event. Cena pins Rollins to keep Brock undefeated. I will boo as Cena ties the 16 title record.
BRETT’S PICK: Rollins?


Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, the running time for the final match listed, as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!

35 thoughts on “Cheap Predictions: Pick WWE Royal Rumble 2015 results and win!

  1. Cesaro/Kidd/Rose def New Day
    Ascension def NAO
    Paige/Nattie def Bellas
    Usos def Miz/Mizdow
    Roman wins the rumble
    Cena wins title, Rollins cashes in

  2. So, here are my picks

    Match one: New Day vs Swinging Cats with Adam Rose

    It’s easy to think that the New Day would win. However, I feel that they will eventually turn heel and become “The Nation Part 2″because Black Guys are either boring yes man, or angry black guys.

    [b]Adam Rose, Cesaro, and Tyson Kidd win[/b]

    Ascension vs The New Age Outlaws

    I watch a lot of NXT. A LOT OF IT. I’ve seen the Ascension run through some of the greatest indy talents during their year run with the titles. Hell the beat the former TNA Tag Champs, The Wolves, in a quick fasion. However, Vince has a hard on for fucking over NXT talent for whatever reason, so SADLY I have NAO beating the Ascension and then JBL will talk about how shitty they are and something else stupid.

    [b]New Age Outlaws[/b]

    Paige/Natalia vs The Bella Twins


    [b]Paige/Natalia wins because CRAZYBITCHGURRRRRRLLLLLLLL[/b]

    The Uso vs Miz/Mizdow for the WWE Tag Belts

    Mizdow does MIMIC

    *Mimic is uneffective*

    Mizdow does Splash

    Mizdow gets a huge pop…..

    Move has no effect

    [b]Uso’s Win[/b]

    Rumble Winner:

    So I’m going to go off on a limb until this actually, factually happens one of these days. KOFI KINGSTON will win the Rumble. Why you ask? What’s the actual reason to have him do all of these cool, crazy emlimnation defying spots, if you don’t have him finally win. Will I be wrong, more than likely, however unitl he wins a battle royal on a ppv, I have made the choice to always pick him.

    [b]Kofi’s Jamaican-me crazy[/b]

    John Cena vs Brock Lesnar vs Seth Rollins

    Brock Lesnar, the human Machamp, not only has to win, should just easily destroy both of these guys. Having him eat Cena’s face off twice then to have him job to either of these to guys tonight, makes no sense. The talk was from the get go to have him and Daniel Bryan go at it at Summer Slam, but Daniel Bryan was a human china doll after Mania last year, and thankfully he’s fully healthy. So we should see Bryan vs Lesnar at Mania, barring John Cena overcoming the odds, or the fact that I was right about Kofi.

    Please let me be wrong about Kofi

    [b]Brock Lesnar eats John Cena and Seth Rollins ALIVE[/b]

    Now my pick for song? I choose the Theme song for the West Texan Rednecks!

    1. IF CENA WINS OR WE RI…te about it angrily on the interwebs!! Honestly though, I would love to see Bryan win and get the title run he should have had the first time around, however, Bryan always seems to flourish in the actual chase to the title! A good way to fix the way they’ve been ruining Reigns is to have the final two be Reigns and Bryan, and have Bryan be Reigns’ thirteenth elimination! He then goes forward as an instant heel to end Cena’s now inevitable sixteenth title run at Mania and then has a feud with Bryan in the early parts of the year!

  3. New Day because they’re so positive!
    The Ascension because if they don’t everyone at NXT will probably quit
    Bellas becauseā€¦ CHARLOTTE VS STEPH AT MANIA!
    Usos because Miz and Mizdow are going to split
    Brock will pin Rollins because Cena can’t lose
    Rumble Final 4: Reigns, Ambrose, Bray and Rusev
    Rumble Winner: Reigns

    Reigns beats Brock at mania but Rollins cashes in!

  4. New Day
    The Ascension
    Natalya and Paige
    The Usos
    Roman Reigns
    Brock Lesnar in 23m16s

    All right, so I’m gonna go with an interesting choice for my song this time. This is the song that Brock Lesnar used as his entrance for his rematch with Frank Mir at UFC 100 but it’s more popularly known as The Sandman’s theme: Enter Sandman. Longtime fans might remember ECW One Night Stand where the entire crowd sang along as Sandman made his entrance.

    Unfortunately it was cut from the DVD for licensing purposes, but it lives on in broadcast rips. Additionally, with Lesnar’s future in the WWE up in the air it’s a possible conversation starter about whether or not he’s going to leave pending the results of this Sunday’s event.

    Official Version of the Song:
    ECW One Night Stand Entrance (3:15):
    Brock Lesnar’s Entrance at UFC 100 (10:10):

  5. Rose, Kidd and Cesaro because if they don’t start trying now to subvert the New Day positivity to make them interesting then all hope is lost for Big E, Woods and Kofi

    Accession and holy hell does Billy Gunn look awful in the picture.

    Bella Twins who cares why


    Ziggler for Rumble

    Lesnar at 25 even

  6. New Day vs Kidd/Cesaro/Rose: Cesaro/Kidd/Rose Win

    New Day is talking about “The Rage” so they are building up a heel turn, i’m going to say this is the start of that. Philly shitting all over them will be a good start.

    Ascension Squashes The New Age Outlaws

    Paige and Natty win to build up some total divas nonsense.

    Samoan Cenas AKA the Usos win against Miz/dow

    Rumble Final Four: Reigns, Ambrose, Bryan, Rusev

    Bryan Wins The Rumble

    Lesnar Wins the Triple Threat in 19 Minutes 20 seconds.

  7. 1. Tyson Kidd Cesaro and Adam Rose
    2.Hawk and Animal….. I mean the Ascension
    3. Bella Twins
    4.Miz and Mizdow
    5.Roman Reigns, to sell more copies of Imortals IOS.
    6.Lesnar 14 minutes

    Cause its what a WWE theme song should be(Bad Hair metal) I am going with Evan Bourne.

  8. new day b kidd/cesaro/rose
    ascension b nao
    natty & paige b bellas
    usos b mizdow
    ambrose wins rumble
    brock b cena/rollins (sets up ambrose/brock for mania. have ambrose win then have rollins cash in on him and lose to end mania 31. magnifique!)

    Two things I would love to see happen though:
    1. Rollins wins the triple threat, then brock enters himself into the rumble and wins
    2. Taker comes out of nowhere and wins the rumble faces Brock at mania. Wins, but then Rollins cashes in on him. Perfect ending to mania imo

    My theme goes to a guy who I’m surprisingly enjoying a lot as I rewatch old PPVs on the network, even though I thought he was trash as a kid:

    1. Almost forgot: my time for the royal rumble match itself is 53:00. If we’re assuming the “main event” is rollins/cena/brock, my time for that match is 27:30

      1. Making this post makes me sad that there’s a .01% chance ambrose will win. But I can envision it now: Fast lane has ambrose defeat Rusev and Brock defeating Reigns. Can you guys imagine Ambrose beating Lesnar with some slight help from Reigns at mania? Then have a shield triple threat at Summerslam where Reigns finally wins it? Hnghhhh

  9. new day
    Miz and mizdow
    Cena pins Brock, Rollins leaves champ after beating Cena

    Not putting in times because they’re totally not going to happen.

  10. 1. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd and Adam Rose
    2. The Ascension
    3. The Usos
    4. Paige and Natalya
    5. Roman Reigns
    6. Lesnar in 20

  11. 1. New day wins
    2. Ascension
    3. Uses
    4. Bella twins
    5. Reigns rumble, final four: rock, reigns, Ambrose, bryan
    6.cena pins Rollins, lesnar destroys vena, Rollins cashes in and wins as champ
    Time for final: 24.25 minutes

  12. such B S. Rusev deserved that win. Reigns needed the Rock to beat Rusev. Such crap… even Lana could take out Roman I got 3 moves Reigns.

  13. I’m still reeling. What a complete and utter shit show – bryan deserved better than that. We deserved better than that.

    Way to kill all good will that awesome triple threat got you.

    1. At least they were slightly honest… Bringing Rock out and saying that hey it’s nepotism not quality that got Roman his run. It’s kind of insulting to Ambrose, Wyatt and Rollins imo, those are the only ones without titles of the handful wrestlers that put in massive headline work over the last 8 months while everyone seemed injured.

      1. It’s not even Ambrose, Ziggler and Wyatt losing; how they lost is what makes it so tragic. They were the only other people the crowd got behind at all and they were just casually dumped out of the ring one after another by the fucking Big Show and Kane. KANE! How can you take that as nothing more than a big fuck you from WWE to the crowd?

        Outside of the Triple Threat, the only bright moments in this show were Bubba coming back, DDP diamond cutting fools, and The Philly Crowd making Cesaro look like the biggest fucking deal on the planet (Which of course was on the preshow, thanks Vince).


    Glad the crowd turned their back on reigns, nothing against the guy he just isnt ready/ Loved that triple threat though, the beast incarnate!

  15. *grumble*
    My local WWE event… AKA tonights Raw is cancelled. After taking some annoying comments about wrestling in general from our *cough collusion wrestle gate cough* Democrat governor Malloy. Dude I got a truck, this was going to be my wifes first live event too.

    …Linda 2016

  16. The Lesnar triple threat match was incredible but the rumble itself was a fucking slap in the face. Reigns was gonna win obviously but the way it folded out was just an absolute shitstorm. I actually feel insulted!

  17. Due to not having the “funds” as the cool kids say; I was forced to read tweets about the matches like some kind of old time radio show. From what I read, Vince still hasnt learned a thing about what the people want and refuses to acknowledge Bryan as a real WWE Superstar/Main eventer. I get why the fans were mad, if pay to see a Laker game and the coach benches Kobe Bryant all game, of course I am going to be mad. P.S. This Roman Reigns guy looks like an extra from a bad Highlander reboot or a stunt double for Lorenzo Lamas. Guy has no charisma or technical wrestling skills. A super punch is about as lazy as you can get, Lex Luthers “Torture rack seems more like a move he would use. That is all lol.

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