Toss your WWE Royal Rumble predictions out of the ring and right towards us! If you’re the most accurate, you can choose the closer for an upcoming segment! Read on for Dave, Henry, and Brett’s Royal Rumble picks and then make yours!
As we’ve been doing for awhile now, the reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of TLC 2014. My own personal predictions were decent, as I went 6-for-9 on my picks. Most predictors fell underneath that line (nobody predicted an Usos victory and even fewer had Rowan slated to lose). As far as this month’s winner goes, we’ve never had a closer race. Both Ampatent and TheMantista went 7-for-9, so we had to go to the last match listed’s running time as the tie-breaker. The running time for Cena-Rollins was 23:34. TheMantista had 23:00. However, Ampatent pulled a reverse Price is Right and predicted 23:01 earlier, so he wins the contest by a single second! Ampatent chose the Kurt Angle original, “I Don’t Suck.”, but I might throw to The Mantista’s pick for the break just because he was so close.
Anywho, here’s how the prediction contest goes. I’m going to make my picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners if any), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker. Just check out my predictions as a guideline. As a bonus, we now have two additional predictors for the event; Cheap Popcast mainstays Brett Elston and Henry Gilbert! While we haven’t decided the prize yet; the three Popcast headliners will have some sort of competitive wager for their predictions.
What does the winning commenter get, though? Well, you can make your mark on the next PPV-themed Cheap Popcast episode by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out on next month’s episode. Got it? Good. Now, the predictions!
ELIMINATION TAG MATCH: THE NEW DAY VS CESARO, TYSON KIDD, AND ADAM ROSE
DAVE’S PICK: Even though this sextet tore the house down on Main Event earlier this month (look it up on Hulu), everything else about this match makes me sad. The New Day busted down to the pre-show in their first two PPV cards? Kidd’s continued under-utilzation? Cesaro’s de-push? The fact that this match might keep Kofi and Cesaro out of the rumble? If anything, I hope the elimination stipulation helps boost a few stars. I say this comes down to Big E and Cesaro, the two get a good hoss fight in, and The New Day wins.
HENRY’S PICK: The New Day, because the world is terribly unjust to the great Cesaro.
BRETT’S PICK: New Day because Adam Rose is poison to everyone. Regardless of who wins, the loser of this match is DOA.
THE ASCENSION VS THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS
The WWE has really shat on The Ascension since their debut, and having seven old dudes berate and beat them down on Raw was the cherry on the shit sundae. I’m really hoping the company puts some effort into building The Ascension up with an absolute slaughtering here, as I REALLY don’t want to see the NAO get another ‘Mania run. The Ascension wins.
HENRY’S PICK: The Ascension beat the old men to death, likely pinning Billy Gunn, because Dogg usually avoids painful bumps these days.
BRETT’S PICK: Please let it be Ascension, if only to give them some heat for beating up a popular(?) team.
PAIGE AND NATALYA VS THE BELLA TWINS
DAVE’S PICK: Boy, the Divas division is kinda spinning their wheels right now, aren’t they? I’m holding out a slight hope they’ll give the title a decent boost for ‘Mania, where Charlotte and Natalya can provide an encore of their amazing NXT bout. I say Natalya scores a pin here, snags the title next month, and we don’t have a schmozz of a Divas match at WWE’s biggest show for the first time in ages. Paige and Natalya.
HENRY’S PICK: The Bella Twins via Twin Magic / Paige betraying Nattie.
BRETT’S PICK: Paige and Natalya… now that Paige is on Total Divas, maybe she gets to have an actual angle?
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE USOS (CHAMP) VS MIZ AND MIZDOW
DAVE’S PICK: As much as I’ve loved Miz and Mizdow, I think the gimmick’s best days are behind it. The Usos will probably carry the straps into ‘Mania (possibly to drop them to The Ascension), so they need a few more convincing victories under their belts. Usos win.
HENRY’S PICK: Seems like the breakup is coming, so I’m betting MIZDOW costs Miz the match via goofy stuff. Usos win.
BRETT’S PICK: Usos win, and this leads to Mizdow dissension.
ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH
DAVE’S PICK: As great as the Royal Rumble match can be, it never really has a satisfying ending. The last few have been “overpushed guy prevails,” and you’d have to go back to Edge, Mysterio, or even Voldemort to find one where the internet darling won. I think they’re going to finally buck the trend and make up for last year’s Rumble. Final four: Bryan, Roman, Ambrose, and Wyatt. Ambrose and Roman eliminate each other (starting dissension there), Bryan finally gets revenge on Wyatt, Daniel Bryan wins.
HENRY’S PICK: I think Reigns because Vince wants it and refuses to listen to people. In a repeat of Punk, Bryan will annoyingly get shoved into an ‘important’ program w/ Brock or something while keeping the main event free for the golden boy that Philly crowd will boo outta town. I will be sad. Final Four: Bryan, Reigns, Ziggler, Wyatt
BRETT’S PICK: I WANT Taker to be surprise 30, win, then face Lesnar at WM but I figure Reigns wins. Maybe Bryan?
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: BROCK LESNAR VS JOHN CENA VS SETH ROLLINS
DAVE’S PICK: A month ago, I would have said Brock was a lock to get to ‘Mania. However, he’s been on TV burning through paydays so much lately that I’m not sure if they’re going to keep him around much longer. The nature of the match also makes it so Lesnar can lose the title and free him up for something different, but I’m sticking to my guns. Lesnar’s downfall has to end at WrestleMania to properly pass the torch. Brock Lesnar wins in 21 minutes.
HENRY’S PICK: Brock should win, but I think they don’t trust him in main event. Cena pins Rollins to keep Brock undefeated. I will boo as Cena ties the 16 title record.
BRETT’S PICK: Rollins?
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Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, the running time for the final match listed, as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!
Cesaro/Kidd/Rose def New Day
Ascension def NAO
Paige/Nattie def Bellas
Usos def Miz/Mizdow
Roman wins the rumble
Cena wins title, Rollins cashes in
ALSO:
Cena wins in 25 minutes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6ZLSZ4_Rvs
So, here are my picks
Match one: New Day vs Swinging Cats with Adam Rose
It’s easy to think that the New Day would win. However, I feel that they will eventually turn heel and become “The Nation Part 2″because Black Guys are either boring yes man, or angry black guys.
[b]Adam Rose, Cesaro, and Tyson Kidd win[/b]
Ascension vs The New Age Outlaws
I watch a lot of NXT. A LOT OF IT. I’ve seen the Ascension run through some of the greatest indy talents during their year run with the titles. Hell the beat the former TNA Tag Champs, The Wolves, in a quick fasion. However, Vince has a hard on for fucking over NXT talent for whatever reason, so SADLY I have NAO beating the Ascension and then JBL will talk about how shitty they are and something else stupid.
[b]New Age Outlaws[/b]
Paige/Natalia vs The Bella Twins
NOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHINGNOTHING
[b]Paige/Natalia wins because CRAZYBITCHGURRRRRRLLLLLLLL[/b]
The Uso vs Miz/Mizdow for the WWE Tag Belts
Mizdow does MIMIC
*Mimic is uneffective*
Mizdow does Splash
Mizdow gets a huge pop…..
Move has no effect
[b]Uso’s Win[/b]
Rumble Winner:
So I’m going to go off on a limb until this actually, factually happens one of these days. KOFI KINGSTON will win the Rumble. Why you ask? What’s the actual reason to have him do all of these cool, crazy emlimnation defying spots, if you don’t have him finally win. Will I be wrong, more than likely, however unitl he wins a battle royal on a ppv, I have made the choice to always pick him.
[b]Kofi’s Jamaican-me crazy[/b]
John Cena vs Brock Lesnar vs Seth Rollins
Brock Lesnar, the human Machamp, not only has to win, should just easily destroy both of these guys. Having him eat Cena’s face off twice then to have him job to either of these to guys tonight, makes no sense. The talk was from the get go to have him and Daniel Bryan go at it at Summer Slam, but Daniel Bryan was a human china doll after Mania last year, and thankfully he’s fully healthy. So we should see Bryan vs Lesnar at Mania, barring John Cena overcoming the odds, or the fact that I was right about Kofi.
Please let me be wrong about Kofi
[b]Brock Lesnar eats John Cena and Seth Rollins ALIVE[/b]
Now my pick for song? I choose the Theme song for the West Texan Rednecks!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHihfxE0ZTk
IF CENA WINS OR WE RI…te about it angrily on the interwebs!! Honestly though, I would love to see Bryan win and get the title run he should have had the first time around, however, Bryan always seems to flourish in the actual chase to the title! A good way to fix the way they’ve been ruining Reigns is to have the final two be Reigns and Bryan, and have Bryan be Reigns’ thirteenth elimination! He then goes forward as an instant heel to end Cena’s now inevitable sixteenth title run at Mania and then has a feud with Bryan in the early parts of the year!
New Day because they’re so positive!
The Ascension because if they don’t everyone at NXT will probably quit
Bellas because… CHARLOTTE VS STEPH AT MANIA!
Usos because Miz and Mizdow are going to split
Brock will pin Rollins because Cena can’t lose
Rumble Final 4: Reigns, Ambrose, Bray and Rusev
Rumble Winner: Reigns
Reigns beats Brock at mania but Rollins cashes in!
http://youtu.be/3cjKOoEP6QI
New Day
The Ascension
Paige/Natalya
The Usos
Daniel Bryan (Final four will be Ziggler, Bryan, Reigns and Wyatt)
Brock Lesnar retains then Rollins cashes in.
Why so many tag matches?
Theme: Bayley’s current (best) theme:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGV9DcHUGzo
Lesnar wins in 25:45
Also I’m guessing Voldemort is code for Chris Benoit, Dave?
New Day
Ascension
Bella Twins
The Usos
Roman Reigns wins the Rumble
Lesnar retains in 22 minutes
Theme is Great Muta’s, because after cringing at the sterotypical Japanese themes in the last episode I figured I’d link one that’s actually really good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLMEe0kbCrw
New Day
The Ascension
Natalya and Paige
The Usos
Roman Reigns
Brock Lesnar in 23m16s
All right, so I’m gonna go with an interesting choice for my song this time. This is the song that Brock Lesnar used as his entrance for his rematch with Frank Mir at UFC 100 but it’s more popularly known as The Sandman’s theme: Enter Sandman. Longtime fans might remember ECW One Night Stand where the entire crowd sang along as Sandman made his entrance.
Unfortunately it was cut from the DVD for licensing purposes, but it lives on in broadcast rips. Additionally, with Lesnar’s future in the WWE up in the air it’s a possible conversation starter about whether or not he’s going to leave pending the results of this Sunday’s event.
Official Version of the Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD-E-LDc384
ECW One Night Stand Entrance (3:15): http://dai.ly/x20itw2
Brock Lesnar’s Entrance at UFC 100 (10:10): http://vimeo.com/18310142
New Day
Ascension
Bellas
Usos
Ziggler (I can dream, can’t I?)
Rollins at 22:30
I’ll keep picking this until I hear it on the show https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KB8nWuLer7k
Cesaro, Tyson Kidd, Adam Rose
The Ascension
The Bella Twins
The Usos
Randy Orton wins the Royal Rumble match
Brock Lesnar in 27 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAIW-nNjfa8
Rose, Kidd and Cesaro because if they don’t start trying now to subvert the New Day positivity to make them interesting then all hope is lost for Big E, Woods and Kofi
Accession and holy hell does Billy Gunn look awful in the picture.
Bella Twins who cares why
Usos
Ziggler for Rumble
Lesnar at 25 even
I love that almost all of Brett’s picks come with a question mark.
New Day vs Kidd/Cesaro/Rose: Cesaro/Kidd/Rose Win
New Day is talking about “The Rage” so they are building up a heel turn, i’m going to say this is the start of that. Philly shitting all over them will be a good start.
Ascension Squashes The New Age Outlaws
Paige and Natty win to build up some total divas nonsense.
Samoan Cenas AKA the Usos win against Miz/dow
Rumble Final Four: Reigns, Ambrose, Bryan, Rusev
Bryan Wins The Rumble
Lesnar Wins the Triple Threat in 19 Minutes 20 seconds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl4KJa5BmME
Cesaro/Kidd/
ascension
paige natalya
Usos
Final Four: Ziggler, *Randy Orton?*, Bryan, Reigns
Winner: Daniel Bryan
Brock in 19 minutes
I don’t think Rollins trys to cash in until next month’s pay per view.
Song if I win: http://tinyurl.com/snakemash2
1. Tyson Kidd Cesaro and Adam Rose
2.Hawk and Animal….. I mean the Ascension
3. Bella Twins
4.Miz and Mizdow
5.Roman Reigns, to sell more copies of Imortals IOS.
6.Lesnar 14 minutes
Cause its what a WWE theme song should be(Bad Hair metal) I am going with Evan Bourne. http://youtu.be/3qS2XZwCFWw
new day b kidd/cesaro/rose
ascension b nao
natty & paige b bellas
usos b mizdow
ambrose wins rumble
brock b cena/rollins (sets up ambrose/brock for mania. have ambrose win then have rollins cash in on him and lose to end mania 31. magnifique!)
Two things I would love to see happen though:
1. Rollins wins the triple threat, then brock enters himself into the rumble and wins
2. Taker comes out of nowhere and wins the rumble faces Brock at mania. Wins, but then Rollins cashes in on him. Perfect ending to mania imo
My theme goes to a guy who I’m surprisingly enjoying a lot as I rewatch old PPVs on the network, even though I thought he was trash as a kid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j49c97mZLok
Almost forgot: my time for the royal rumble match itself is 53:00. If we’re assuming the “main event” is rollins/cena/brock, my time for that match is 27:30
Making this post makes me sad that there’s a .01% chance ambrose will win. But I can envision it now: Fast lane has ambrose defeat Rusev and Brock defeating Reigns. Can you guys imagine Ambrose beating Lesnar with some slight help from Reigns at mania? Then have a shield triple threat at Summerslam where Reigns finally wins it? Hnghhhh
The New Day
The Ascension
The Bella Twins
The Usos
Roman Reigns win the Royal Rumble
Brock Lesner in 23:23
http://youtu.be/7i-rXH6Kr_E
new day
ascencion
Miz and mizdow
Bella’s
Rusev
Cena pins Brock, Rollins leaves champ after beating Cena
Not putting in times because they’re totally not going to happen.
1. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd and Adam Rose
2. The Ascension
3. The Usos
4. Paige and Natalya
5. Roman Reigns
6. Lesnar in 20
Oh….and on the unlikely chance that I win.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJigJNkwqEo
1. New day wins
2. Ascension
3. Uses
4. Bella twins
5. Reigns rumble, final four: rock, reigns, Ambrose, bryan
6.cena pins Rollins, lesnar destroys vena, Rollins cashes in and wins as champ
Time for final: 24.25 minutes
New Day, Ascension, Paige& Nat, Usos, Reigns wins the Rumble, Brock wins in 20 but Rollins cashes in and wins in >5. Side bet the surprise Rumble entrants will be DDP and Jake the Snake.
http://youtu.be/bFZj6Fnq4G4
1. New day
2. Ascension
3. Bella twins
4. The Usos
5. Ziggler
6. Brock wins in 18:45
We are the nation of domination. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPYrHsO_-H0
Cesaro/Kidd/Rose
Ascension
Uso Bros
Bella Twins
Final 4: Reigns, Ziggler, Ambrose & Wyatt (Ziggler wins)
Brock in 22:30
Jake the Snake Theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEed-Zgi7wI
such B S. Rusev deserved that win. Reigns needed the Rock to beat Rusev. Such crap… even Lana could take out Roman I got 3 moves Reigns.
I’m still reeling. What a complete and utter shit show – bryan deserved better than that. We deserved better than that.
Way to kill all good will that awesome triple threat got you.
At least they were slightly honest… Bringing Rock out and saying that hey it’s nepotism not quality that got Roman his run. It’s kind of insulting to Ambrose, Wyatt and Rollins imo, those are the only ones without titles of the handful wrestlers that put in massive headline work over the last 8 months while everyone seemed injured.
It’s not even Ambrose, Ziggler and Wyatt losing; how they lost is what makes it so tragic. They were the only other people the crowd got behind at all and they were just casually dumped out of the ring one after another by the fucking Big Show and Kane. KANE! How can you take that as nothing more than a big fuck you from WWE to the crowd?
Outside of the Triple Threat, the only bright moments in this show were Bubba coming back, DDP diamond cutting fools, and The Philly Crowd making Cesaro look like the biggest fucking deal on the planet (Which of course was on the preshow, thanks Vince).
WHAT A STREAK OF PISH!
Glad the crowd turned their back on reigns, nothing against the guy he just isnt ready/ Loved that triple threat though, the beast incarnate!
*grumble*
My local WWE event… AKA tonights Raw is cancelled. After taking some annoying comments about wrestling in general from our *cough collusion wrestle gate cough* Democrat governor Malloy. Dude I got a truck, this was going to be my wifes first live event too.
…Linda 2016
The Lesnar triple threat match was incredible but the rumble itself was a fucking slap in the face. Reigns was gonna win obviously but the way it folded out was just an absolute shitstorm. I actually feel insulted!
Due to not having the “funds” as the cool kids say; I was forced to read tweets about the matches like some kind of old time radio show. From what I read, Vince still hasnt learned a thing about what the people want and refuses to acknowledge Bryan as a real WWE Superstar/Main eventer. I get why the fans were mad, if pay to see a Laker game and the coach benches Kobe Bryant all game, of course I am going to be mad. P.S. This Roman Reigns guy looks like an extra from a bad Highlander reboot or a stunt double for Lorenzo Lamas. Guy has no charisma or technical wrestling skills. A super punch is about as lazy as you can get, Lex Luthers “Torture rack seems more like a move he would use. That is all lol.