Toss your WWE Royal Rumble predictions out of the ring and right towards us! If you’re the most accurate, you can choose the closer for an upcoming segment! Read on for Dave, Henry, and Brett’s Royal Rumble picks and then make yours!
As we’ve been doing for awhile now, the reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of TLC 2014. My own personal predictions were decent, as I went 6-for-9 on my picks. Most predictors fell underneath that line (nobody predicted an Usos victory and even fewer had Rowan slated to lose). As far as this month’s winner goes, we’ve never had a closer race. Both Ampatent and TheMantista went 7-for-9, so we had to go to the last match listed’s running time as the tie-breaker. The running time for Cena-Rollins was 23:34. TheMantista had 23:00. However, Ampatent pulled a reverse Price is Right and predicted 23:01 earlier, so he wins the contest by a single second! Ampatent chose the Kurt Angle original, “I Don’t Suck.”, but I might throw to The Mantista’s pick for the break just because he was so close.
Anywho, here’s how the prediction contest goes. I’m going to make my picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners if any), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker. Just check out my predictions as a guideline. As a bonus, we now have two additional predictors for the event; Cheap Popcast mainstays Brett Elston and Henry Gilbert! While we haven’t decided the prize yet; the three Popcast headliners will have some sort of competitive wager for their predictions.
What does the winning commenter get, though? Well, you can make your mark on the next PPV-themed Cheap Popcast episode by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out on next month’s episode. Got it? Good. Now, the predictions!
ELIMINATION TAG MATCH: THE NEW DAY VS CESARO, TYSON KIDD, AND ADAM ROSE
DAVE’S PICK: Even though this sextet tore the house down on Main Event earlier this month (look it up on Hulu), everything else about this match makes me sad. The New Day busted down to the pre-show in their first two PPV cards? Kidd’s continued under-utilzation? Cesaro’s de-push? The fact that this match might keep Kofi and Cesaro out of the rumble? If anything, I hope the elimination stipulation helps boost a few stars. I say this comes down to Big E and Cesaro, the two get a good hoss fight in, and The New Day wins.
HENRY’S PICK: The New Day, because the world is terribly unjust to the great Cesaro.
BRETT’S PICK: New Day because Adam Rose is poison to everyone. Regardless of who wins, the loser of this match is DOA.
THE ASCENSION VS THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS
The WWE has really shat on The Ascension since their debut, and having seven old dudes berate and beat them down on Raw was the cherry on the shit sundae. I’m really hoping the company puts some effort into building The Ascension up with an absolute slaughtering here, as I REALLY don’t want to see the NAO get another ‘Mania run. The Ascension wins.
HENRY’S PICK: The Ascension beat the old men to death, likely pinning Billy Gunn, because Dogg usually avoids painful bumps these days.
BRETT’S PICK: Please let it be Ascension, if only to give them some heat for beating up a popular(?) team.
PAIGE AND NATALYA VS THE BELLA TWINS
DAVE’S PICK: Boy, the Divas division is kinda spinning their wheels right now, aren’t they? I’m holding out a slight hope they’ll give the title a decent boost for ‘Mania, where Charlotte and Natalya can provide an encore of their amazing NXT bout. I say Natalya scores a pin here, snags the title next month, and we don’t have a schmozz of a Divas match at WWE’s biggest show for the first time in ages. Paige and Natalya.
HENRY’S PICK: The Bella Twins via Twin Magic / Paige betraying Nattie.
BRETT’S PICK: Paige and Natalya… now that Paige is on Total Divas, maybe she gets to have an actual angle?
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE USOS (CHAMP) VS MIZ AND MIZDOW
DAVE’S PICK: As much as I’ve loved Miz and Mizdow, I think the gimmick’s best days are behind it. The Usos will probably carry the straps into ‘Mania (possibly to drop them to The Ascension), so they need a few more convincing victories under their belts. Usos win.
HENRY’S PICK: Seems like the breakup is coming, so I’m betting MIZDOW costs Miz the match via goofy stuff. Usos win.
BRETT’S PICK: Usos win, and this leads to Mizdow dissension.
ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH
DAVE’S PICK: As great as the Royal Rumble match can be, it never really has a satisfying ending. The last few have been “overpushed guy prevails,” and you’d have to go back to Edge, Mysterio, or even Voldemort to find one where the internet darling won. I think they’re going to finally buck the trend and make up for last year’s Rumble. Final four: Bryan, Roman, Ambrose, and Wyatt. Ambrose and Roman eliminate each other (starting dissension there), Bryan finally gets revenge on Wyatt, Daniel Bryan wins.
HENRY’S PICK: I think Reigns because Vince wants it and refuses to listen to people. In a repeat of Punk, Bryan will annoyingly get shoved into an ‘important’ program w/ Brock or something while keeping the main event free for the golden boy that Philly crowd will boo outta town. I will be sad. Final Four: Bryan, Reigns, Ziggler, Wyatt
BRETT’S PICK: I WANT Taker to be surprise 30, win, then face Lesnar at WM but I figure Reigns wins. Maybe Bryan?
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: BROCK LESNAR VS JOHN CENA VS SETH ROLLINS
DAVE’S PICK: A month ago, I would have said Brock was a lock to get to ‘Mania. However, he’s been on TV burning through paydays so much lately that I’m not sure if they’re going to keep him around much longer. The nature of the match also makes it so Lesnar can lose the title and free him up for something different, but I’m sticking to my guns. Lesnar’s downfall has to end at WrestleMania to properly pass the torch. Brock Lesnar wins in 21 minutes.
HENRY’S PICK: Brock should win, but I think they don’t trust him in main event. Cena pins Rollins to keep Brock undefeated. I will boo as Cena ties the 16 title record.
BRETT’S PICK: Rollins?
Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, the running time for the final match listed, as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!