Laser Time – The Worst Animated Films Based on TV Cartoons

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From 80s classics to the ultra-regrettable garbage, we’re counting down the “Worst” TV-to-Movie cartoon adaptations according to the cold heart of objective science!

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26 thoughts on “Laser Time – The Worst Animated Films Based on TV Cartoons

      1. I kinda doubt that. I love a couple of these too, but there’s a lot of literal ass garbage here that goes well beyond irredeemable. Either way, what’s beloved by us personally is irrelevant since the order was (somewhat confusingly) determined by a numeric consensus from Professional Critics. #ethics

        I’d like to remind everyone there’s zero fucking shame in liking something critics and/or appointed experts don’t. Furthermore, it’s the unloved movies out there that are in the most in need of love. Fuck the notion of guilty pleasures and never apologize for your taste! Just don’t expect it to be validated either.

  1. I unashamedly love the Transformers movie.
    It’s a solid 6/10 with a great soundtrack and an uplifting message. I still watch it whenever I have emotional shit to deal with.
    I can’t wait to listen to this episode and hear your thoughts on its many flaws (assuming the banner is indicative of the episode’s content).

  2. Oh boy this should be a phenomenal list. Love the cartoon episodes, so I’m sure this will be another treat that is much needed during midterm death week…

  3. Count me in on the “Transformers is bad but I love it desperately” bandwagon. It’s beautifully animated, the score is still pretty jaw dropping (I’m always amazed that DiCola didn’t get more work during the five years or so when his style was appropriate) and the fights are really well-assembled and choreographed. It’s a bad movie, but it’s a GLORIOUSLY bad movie and even now, it feels like an important step in the evolution of Transformers from “shitty toy commercial” to “we kind of accidentally made a viable mythos that can support interesting stories if we care to make them.” I also remember loving “Secret of the Sword” when I was little, but I have no nostalgia for it and can easily see it for the miserable pile of donkey bollocks it is.

    Meanwhile, Care Bears scared the shit out of me when I was 7. I had a weird irrational fear of stories where kids were corrupted by random objects they had no way of knowing were evil (the Superfriends short with the oil spill that creates monsters freaked me the fuck out) and Care Bears was crawling with that shit all the way back to the first 60-minute special.

  4. Yesss, been looking forward to this! I’m a little behind on podcasts since my new job has a shorter commute 🙁 (Never thought I’d be sad about that) but I’ll get to this as soon as I finish last weeks Cape Crisis.
    Also as long as I’m here, I finally listened to the Derrick Comedy Lasertime yesterday and thought it was really interesting! I’m not super into comedy but it was really cool hearing about the experiences of someone who creates stuff for a living, normally I have very little idea of what that world is actually like.

  5. Diana wins for mentioning M.A.S.K. which had me yelling out MOBILE ARMORED STRIKE KOMMAND in my kar this morning. Such a good theme song.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odskNtdPyDE

    You think the Transformers movie gave ten year olds nightmares? That GI Joe movie is the most fucked up thing ever. Surprised you didn’t talk about it longer. Stuff of nightmares.

  6. Define worst,
    Then separate it from Average.
    Also Recess: Schools Out was great.

    I also say Httyd 2 was inferior to the sequel

    Disneys Doug is equally fine as Nick Doug

    Love the gumby movie, or rather love the memory I have of the Gumby movie, where there was an evil gumby and i was horrified.

  7. I completely understand the faults of The Transformers: The Movie but I still love it.
    Also, I’m pretty sure Recess was a pretty good show and that movie was good too if it isn’t just me looking back at it fondly.

  8. RE: He Man and the Secret of the Sword:

    I was working at a movie theater back in the late 90s that was able to buy a bunch of old film prints from an abandoned film depot. It was mostly films from defunct movie studios. Most of the movies were titles you had never heard of, but mixed in were several movies you DID know: Valley Girl, Teen Wolf, 1984, Picnic at Hanging Rock, Here There it’s Yogi Bear, Smurf’s & the Magic Flute… as well as He Man and the Secret of the Sword AND Go Bots: War of the Rock Lords.

    The He Man and Go Bots movies were essentially the same thing: IE – they weren’t really “movies” but instead were just five episodes of the TV show edited together to make a movie. The end result was a movie that felt like five episodes strung together.

    Pretty low rent excuse for a movie. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they weren’t even properly formatted to movie screens. They simply slapped the TV show’s 4:3 image on 35mm film without accounting for the theater’s 1.85:1 aspect ratio.

    Translation: The image was always cut off at either the top or the bottom. The fact that both of these movies played nation wide in movie theaters is an embarrassment to the company that released them, and must have been a nightmare for the theaters that played them.

  9. Dear gawd couldn’t disagree more about Transformers. I know I’m biased a bit (tho can simply liking something be biased?) but it’s orders of magnitude better than like, He Man movies or Go Bots movies or the GI Joe movie or whatever else it’s stacked up against.

    They took the biggest lemon on earth and made a giant pitcher of lemonade. Spent money, hired talent, improved on the god awful TV show in every way blah blah well I already spend a whole TalkRadar talking about this!

  10. Transformers the movie is a movie that takes me back in a way few movies can, it’s probably a combination of its soundtrack, the animation style and the absolutely shameless toy promotion. But I do love it for all those reasons. And I know as a movie, it’s a mess. But I still love it. Same goes with the beginning part of G.I. Joe the movie, the part at the Statue of Liberty that’s basically G.I. Joe the musical.

  11. Not quite at the age required to to see rated R movies, my friends and I managed to see Aqua Teen Hunger Force the day of release. At one point I thought it was one of the greatest things I had ever seen. It got to the point where I was laughing and nothing that would warrant such a response was happening on screen. I couldn’t stop myself. It hurt. That movie was absurd. It was either that or a contact high from one of the theater patrons that did me in.

    Another thing about ATHF I find funny was a behind a scenes interview with the creators that was shown probably a year or two before the movie ever came out. They actually spoiled the ending(like that even matters, BUT !!!SPOILERS!!!) that Frylock was a women.

    Also saw the LA premier of Tim and Eric’s movie with a similar group of friends. Tim and Eric even did a surprise Q & A after the film, which really didn’t help the experiance that much. That movie is terrible.

    I have fond memories of watching the Recess movie regularly. Never became a follower of the show, but I liked the movie.

  12. I am in the camp of believing that Transformers is the greatest animated movie ever. Can’t believe it made this list for you guys. Just listening to you guys talk about it made my tear ducts well up, remembering all of my favorite characters bite the dust.

  13. DIC’s Heathcliff :The Movie was really, really bad. First DiC screwed up Heathcliff originally animated by Ruby-Spears productions who was more true to the George Gately commie strip by changing nearly half of the characters from the original strip and adding a unknown French cartoon known as The Cattilacc Cats. Second unlike another successful animated series (Rainbow Brite & The Littles) and turning it into successful films (Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer & Here Comes The Littles) they (DiC) decided to turn Heathcliff :The Movie into a 70+ minute clip shoe (showing segments from Heathcliff the TV series instead of using new material including the original opening and closing credits) and not having original.material like the other two films mention here caused the movie to bombed.

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