Laser Time’s Honorary Oscars!

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Snubs happen every year — that’s just the nature of awards ceremonies. It’s up to us, the writers who think we know better because we make blog posts, to correct these mistakes. So without further adieu, here are Laser Time’s honorary Oscars! [Some spoilers follow.]

Best J. Jonah Jameson Impress: J.K. Simmons as Terence Fletcher, Whiplash

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Mask Cut from Halloween 3: Frank’s Head, Frank

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Movie that Took 12 Years to Make: Boyhood

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Use of a Baseball Bat: The Raid 2

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Taken Movie of 2014: Non-Stop

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Animated Feature: The Lego Movie

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Complimentary Continental Breakfast: The Grand Budapest Hotel

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Movie about Jon Favreau Eating Food: Chef

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Cameo: Sebastian Stan as Bucky, Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Cloverfield Ripoff: Godzilla

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Movie that by Its Own Nature Is Inconsequential: X-Men: Days of Future Past

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Villain Who Terrified You as a Kid but Now You Want to Bang Her: Angelina Jolie as Maleficent, Maleficent

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Sequel that Outdid the Original: 22 Jump Street

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Creationist Nightmare: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Actor Who Will Get Unnecessarily Shoehorned into Action Movies for the Next 5 Years: Chris Pratt as Star-Lord, Guardians of the Galaxy

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Turtle on Girl Makeout Session: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Actress Doing Something Better with Her Time in Between Filming The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Emma Stone as Sam Riggan, Birdman

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Second Best Taken Movie of 2014: A Walk Among the Tombstones

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Use of Benedict Cumberbatch: The Imitation Game

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Movie You’ll Mix Up with The Imitation Game: The Theory of Everything

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best X-Men Movie of 2014: Nightcrawler

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Use of a Box Cutter: Gone Girl

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Movie Nobody Understood: Inherent Vice

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Sequel that Doesn’t Require Your to Watch the First 5 Movies: Big Hero 6

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Movie Featuring Keanu Reeves Shooting Guns that Isn’t The Matrix: John Wick

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Adapted Screenplay: Interstellar, adapted from that one Daft Punk cartoon

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Most Realistic Fake Baby: American Sniper

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Movie I Thought Was a Salma Hayek Biopic: Selma

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Michael Scott Impression: Steve Carell as John E. du Pont, Foxcatcher

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Second Best Adapted Screenplay: The Gambler, adapted from that one Kenny Rogers song

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Use of the First Amendment: The Interview

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

Best Sports Movie: Unbroken

Laser Time, Oscars, 2014, 2015, awards, snubs, honorary

For more awards talk, check out the latest Laser Time episode: Oscar Time 2015!

Tony is an Editor here at Laser Time. Follow him on Twitter so you can tell him he picked the wrong winners for this article.

CHECK OUT THE 2015 OSCAR WINNERS ON AMAZON, SUPPORT LASER TIME!! 

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Laser Time’s Honorary Oscars!

  1. Best Performance of Former Disney Channel Star in an R Rated Comedy: Zac Efron as Teddy Sanders in [Bad] Neighbors

    Best TV event airing at the same time as the Oscars: WWE Fastlane

    Best Dreamworks Movie in 10 Years: How to Train Your Dragon 2

    Best Movie that I Thought was about a Simpsons Character: Selma

    Best Actor who’s name I can’t pronounce: David Oyelowo as Martin Luther King Jr in Selma

  2. Jesus, that American Sniper baby…

    On the subject of Maleficant I’ll add that even in the original Sleeping Beauty Disney movie, Maleficant is oddly bangable.

  3. The best use of a baseball bat for 2015 is Sting in last night’s Fastlane,
    Liam Neeson has remade Taken like 6 times now,
    Jon Favearu put the weight back on,
    Wow I just noticed how short Ellen Page is,
    Maleficent’s helmet looks kinda gangsta,
    I thought Selma was a movie about “Selma” living life after Louise died at the end of Selma and Lousie

  4. I love this site. You guys need an award ceremony. Fuck the razzies. The Lazzies (…?) would be better…Or…Laser…I dunno. But it would be better!! Also, Chris would be the best host ever.

  5. Oh yeah, this is awesome, great list Tony!

    Also, Nightcrawler is legit awesome. And The Gambler and Chef were surprisingly alright.

  6. Best mask cut from Halloween 3? That is legit and a deep cut! Only on Lasertime.com. Funny note I was at Casino Morongo in Cabazon Ca when Mark was filming the Gambler and he was cool as hell and really short. Should of got a lasertime plug in but it was a totaly random chance encounter.

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