Guess the Game Commercial: Lunar Extinction

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HINT: 72 Hours, One Hope.

STOP SCROLLING: In Guess the Game Commercial, we invite you to guess which game is being advertised based solely on a single out-of-context screen grab. The video below will feature a retro game commercial and followed by a short sizzle of our own making with the game in question. Scroll no further than the video below unless you’re stumped and ready to spoil the answer for yourself…

Scroll down for the answer…

… keep going…

ANSWER: THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: MAJORA’S MASK [Nintendo 64, Nintendo 3DS | 2000, 2015]

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“THERE’S A NEW ZELDA GAME! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”

My word, this commercial is INSANE! Massive pile ups, flaming horses, dogs running wild in the streets, and Geishas losing their shit over a global extinction level event?! Thankfully our government has secluded one Last Starfighter-esque preteen deep within an glowing bonus room. Surely, he will save us all with his… Majora’s Mask skillz? Pure Gold.

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I’m a massive Zelda fan, but I won’t pretend to love its quirky stepchild, Majora’s Mask. It was the first Zelda game I never finished, and yeah, that’s a sad fact that remains to this say. Since then, the game’s been re-embraced for its colossal weirdness and become fairly beloved, and like many of you, I snatched the 3DS Majora up day one eager to fill in that Zelda gap. But I can barely wrap my brain around the bizarre gameplay, which demands Link change form and constantly reset a three day cycle in order to prevent a moon from crashing into… wherever this is.

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At the absolute worst, it’s a incongruous collection of secrets, the kind only a child with no disposable income and a mountain of free time would bother to stitch together. But I’ve since warmed to the game’s creepiness, and with Majora’s reuse of Ocarina assets and recasting of some its villains and heroes, I’d like to think of its as the Simpsons Halloween Special of Zelda games. So in a weird way, that makes this absurd commercial all the more appropriate, I s’pose, since it’s hocking a product Nintendo itself has completely abandoned the formula for. That said, it’s still presents a pretty fucking bleak atmosphere for a Zelda game, and looks far more suited/similar to those Mortal Monday spots of the previous console generation.

But I know what some of you video game commercial connoisseurs saying: ALL COMMERCIALS FROM THE LATE 90s/EARLY 2000S WERE LIKE THIS. Yes. Yes, they were. But not Zelda’s. With a few exceptions, Zelda is almost always presented in a very straightforward, much less extreme and more respectable manner (in the US, at least.) Just take a look at the Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker spots embedded above and below, Majora’s bookends, and you’ll see high fantasy promotion at it’s most sincere. Following two laughable attempts at marketing Link’s adventures with the power of rap, Nintendo has generally avoided goofball shit, unnecessary ‘tude, and other trendy marketing pitfalls with Zelda. And that makes this wonderful little mish-mash of 90s matte shots just as bizarre as the game itself.

OH! And that incredible Majora’s Mask “Clocktown” medley by Theophany used in the video? You can download it, as well as a whole album of Majora remixes at TerribleFate.com. Give it a listen and maybe give the guy a buck? It’s pay-what-you-want!

One thought on “Guess the Game Commercial: Lunar Extinction

  1. Fantastic read Antista. I just finished Ocarina on the new 3DS and was astonished by the graphical upgrade. Combined with the handy new 3D tracking, it makes for one hell of an experience. In truth, I have had Ocarina laying around for a couple years now, I just never bothered to play it on my “old” 3DS. Now that Ocarina is done I’m looking forward to jumping into Majora’s Mask. One thing I’m not excited about is the constant threat of the world ending. I recall 100% this a couple years out of high school, problem is, I had way more free time then than I do now.

    I have a sneaking suspicion that MM may be sitting around for another year or two on my backlog. I had always assumed this was one of the best Zelda games ever made but playing for a couple hours kind of made me wish I was just replaying Wind Waker again.

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