The Best New Amazon Releases: Mortal Kombat

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Mortal Kombat, Batman, Robin and other things possibly not owned by Warner Bros!

Hola, fellow pop culture poobahs! Here’s where we give a shoutout to the latest new releases on Amazon, as well as a few comic book recommendations and upcoming game pre-orders, and offer you a chance to support your pals at Laser Time! Even if you’re not interested in said product below or on our right-hand sidebar, using them to enter Amazon to make a purchase will net us a small commission that helps us keep the lights on. Unlike a donation (LAST WEEK TO GET OUT IRL ANIMATION COMMENTARIES, BTW!) this costs you nothing, and if enough folks do it, you could help us significantly. Happy shopping, friends!

Mortal Kombat X
Who in the goddamned universe doesn’t love Mortal Kombat?! Straighten out your ascot/frock and raise your lily white hand so I know who to instantly ban! MK might be a relic of an older era, but I loved those games, and the obligatory gore that sticks out lick a sore thumb in this time of modern sensitivity, so I’ve never not found each and every new entry in the series to be cause for serious celebration. Especially since the last entry of the series decided to offer up equal amounts of respectable gameplay alongside its mid-90s fan service. Although sadly, thanks to this being the first Kombat game released since I’ve been ousted from the gaming beeswax, I’ve yet to play a single second of it. Sad face. But you better believe I picked it up sight unseen! And even better, we’ll be streaming this at our regular time of Tuesday at 3PM Pacific time. Peep Laser Time’s YouTube Channel if you’re a Johnny-Cage-come-lately!


Batman vs Robin
Another example of Warner Bros doing good for its Dorky Aquisitions Department, here comes another DC animated movie, IMO, where the companies stories and characters really shine brightest. Fans of the New 52 have a lot to look forward to, since this films apparently features both The Court of Owls and Batman’s son Damien Wayne succumbing to a serious case of daddy issues. I really enjoyed this period of the comics, so I can’t wait to see how it translates to DC’s fairly incredible run of animated adaptations.

Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin
I’ve been pretty flippant about full-priced, last-gen re-releases, but truth be told, I was slightly devastated over having to play Dark Souls II on my comparatively ancient Xbox 360. Murky, dark, slow… it pained me tremendously to have to endure antiquated technical woes when I had two bright and shiny next-gen consoles with no games to play. By all accounts, this is fairly above board upgrade, offering a significantly tweaked experience over the typical upgrade in resolution and framerate. However, I absolutely finding the timing a little suspect. Most of us haven’t even finished the glorious Bloodborne, and now Namco is basically making From Software compete with itself? Maybe that’s just my old ass finding it harder to break away from the grind of adulthood and play shit through, but it certainly seems like a nefarious move to chip away at Bloodborne’s market share instead of capitalizing on it. But $60 for a last-gen rerelease? Good luck with that, Namco! At least Xboners don’t have a decision to make, I guess.

Big Eyes
Odd that a film called “Big Eyes” was seen by so few of them… Lazy joke, you say? Well, look who we’re talking about! Even though I grew up loving Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, Beetlejuice and the 1989 Batman, anything with Tim Burton’s name on it these days makes me instantly irritated. I’ve never seen someone so promising and talented coast so lazily, so obnoxiously on big-budget remakes and celebrity friendships and it makes me so fucking angry I could spit. But when the dust settles on my senseless nerd rage, Big Eyes is the second collaboration between a director and screenwriters who previously forged, IMO, one of the greatest movies ever made: Ed Wood. I was waiting to hear more positive buzz on this but I don’t know anybody who saw this other than my mom. And seriously, fuck her.

Xenoblades Chronicles 3D
I always wanted to check this out, as it’s generally been hailed as one of the “last great RPGS.” However, it was released in short supply, for the a system whose popularity was rapid decline (the goddamned Wii), and Gamestop and eBay hoarders conspired to make sure this game got more use as a collectible than a, you know… game? Whatever. Now Xenoblades Chronicles is the only exclusive game for my new New Nintendo 3DS, so I need to give it a careful look. The accounts I’ve come across have been varied. The general gameplay seems to have made the transition well, and getting a Wii game running on a 3DS is certainly a pretty amazing feat, but it’s not without some obvious technical issues and limitations. I mean, I’ve always wanted to play this… but I’ve already got one barely completed, $40 New 3DS RPG adventure.

Hooper
I won’t assume many of you share my affection for the high-octane 70s/80s schlock of Burt Reynolds and Hal Needham, but these films are so fucking watchable today. Add to that, Hooper had been unavailable for almost a decade, so its great to see it hit any home format alone, let alone in high-def. In case you were wondering, the Needham/Reynolds car movies hare a lot in common with the Fast & Furious series. Sort of like if those Vin Diesel vehicles were more (intentionally) focused on comedy above all else. All Smokey and The Bandit, Cannonball Run, etc., really wanted to do was wrap a bunch of ridiculous car stunts in a palatable, yet slightly unnecessary, occasionally terrible plot, but Hooper just says “Fuck it! Reynolds is a car stuntman! Let’s show a lot fucking car stunts and I don’t care if the cameramen are in the shot!” Watch how many times people almost die in this clip. Glorious… OH! And speaking of Reynolds:

The Voices
A quick shoutout to Anne “Angela” Lewis for turning me onto this weird ass little movie about a wonderfully disturbed man whose pets talk him committing murder! I know a ton of folks love to hate on Ryan Reynolds, but after the geek world collectively yelled at him for having the gall to play Hal Jordan, he’s clearly been a little more selective about the roles he chooses. Even if you don’t care about The Voices, I’d like to think that lesson and that passion all rolled into Reynolds renewed interest in getting Deadpool made, and getting Deadpool made right. I wish I had more to say about The Voices but all I can think of are those daily screenshot leeks of an R-Rated Wade Wilson and I start bouncing in my chair like an infant getting candy dangled in front of its face!

CAPE CRISIS RECOMMENDS:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “The Best New Amazon Releases: Mortal Kombat

  1. Don’t forget about the Babadook (out today).

    Already picked up Mortal Kombat X. I also want to check out Voices, because not only does it sound strange as hell, but it’s also directed by Marjane Satrapi, the author and director of Persepolis.

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