LaserTime’s WWE Extreme Rules 2015 predictions: make yours too!

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Are you EXTREME-ly accurate with your WWE predictions? If you are, you can win your choice of closing song on an upcoming episode of Cheap Popcast! Read on for Dave, Henry, Brett, and Carolyn’s Extreme Rules 2015 picks, and then make yours!

As we’ve been doing for awhile now, the reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of the LT gang’s WrestleMania picks: of the five LaserTime contributors who submitted picks (Brett‘s were too late to include, but hermetically sealed in an envelope), four were tied with four out of nine predictions. One person had five, and that was the WrestleMania predictions champion Henry Gilbert! As for listener picks, butsukoy had the most Fastlane picks correct, and his choice of The Fabulous Moolah’s theme closed out the WrestleMania episode. For WrestleMania, two listeners got six-out-of-nine picks. While Ampatent had the closer running time for the main event and will have Disturbed’s “Glass Breaks” Stone Cold theme, I’ll likely fit Hairybeast44’s pick of Tetsuya Naito’s NJPW theme in during the break.

Anywho, here’s how the prediction contest goes. The LaserTime gang is going to make picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/no contest) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners if any), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker.

What does the winning commenter get, though? Well, you can make your mark on the next PPV-themed Cheap Popcast episode by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out on next month’s episode. Got it? Good. Now, onto each LaserTimer’s predictions, with special Extreme makeovers (apologies to Carolyn, since WWE 2K15’s create-a-Diva feature is the saddest thing in the world).

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DAVE‘S PREDICTIONS

1- WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TYSON KIDD & CESARO VS. THE NEW DAY

While Cesaro and Kidd are m’boys and probably the most entertaining in-ring duo in eons, I can’t deny that the WWE has finally discovered how to get heat on The New Day. There’s also quite a few hot face duos (Lucha Dragons, Prime Time Players) that need a true heel pair to vanquish (as opposed to the heel in name only Kiddsaro). New Day wins.

2- DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. SHEAMUS (KISS ME ARSE MATCH)

All convention says Sheamus should win this, since it’s his first PPV match since returning with a new heel guise. However, I think he works best as a bully, and in this case, it means losing (perhaps on a fluke), and indignantly avoiding the arse-kissing. I say Ziggler wins in what’s probably the best match of the night…

3- DEAN AMBROSE VS. LUKE HARPER (CHICAGO STREET FIGHT)

Unless these two take the cake. Putting two of the most hardcore-friendly wrestlers in a streetfight is a fantastic idea, and I have confidence these two will tear the house down before Big Show bores everyone inside. Ambrose hasn’t had a PPV pinfall win in a dog’s age, so I say he wins this one.

4- ROMAN REIGNS VS. BIG SHOW (LAST MAN STANDING MATCH)

Last Man Standing matches are rarely good, since half of the time is spent with one or both wrestlers on their back as a ref slowly counts. When you combine that with the sometimes-substandard Reigns and the rarely-ever-good Big Show and we’ve got an early frontrunner for the worst match of 2015. Prove me wrong, WWE. Prove me wrong. Roman wins, and hopefully pretty quickly.

5- DIVAS CHAMPION NIKKI BELLA VS. NAOMI

Naomi really deserves this, as she’s been one of the best Divas on the roster for three-plus years. Whether she gets it is another matter entirely, but I think this heel turn was for a reason. Plus, a title victory sets up feuds with both Nikki and a post-movie-making Paige.

6- INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN VS. BAD NEWS BARRETT

Sigh. WWE still has this listed, so I do too, but I’m not hopeful this will even happen. I say it’s a repeat of WrestleMania 28 and BNB gets handed an 18-second loss so that DB can rest for a month and maybe hopefully finally heal enough to go for a few years, pretty please?

7- UNITED STATES CHAMPION JOHN CENA VS. RUSEV (RUSSIAN CHAIN MATCH)

Cena wouldn’t have a US-Title-themed t-shirt if he wasn’t going to have that belt around his waist for a few more months. I think this match begins what was hinted at WrestleMania, and either Lana or Rusev turns on the other after Rusev doesn’t touch enough turnbuckles to get his championship back.

8- WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS VS. RANDY ORTON (STEEL CAGE MATCH)

There are so many more possibilities with Seth; he can move onto Roman while Brock waits in the wings to annihilate Rollins around Summerslam. Heck, if Ambrose is rehabilitated enough, the WWE could work towards a Shield reunion triple-threat match. I like the idea of Bray Wyatt doing another steel cage teleportation to waylay Orton and kickstart a feud there. I say Seth Rollins wins in 23 minutes.

Up next… Hank’s picks!

21 thoughts on “LaserTime’s WWE Extreme Rules 2015 predictions: make yours too!

  1. 1- WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS New Day wins.
    New Day has a lot of push behind them recently and I really hope they get the win.

    2- DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. SHEAMUS
    Ziggler wins. In a good match but with terrible stipulation.

    3- DEAN AMBROSE VS. LUKE HARPER
    Ambrose wins in a match that should call back to the glory days of the Hardcore champions ship belt, gore and giggles abound.

    4- ROMAN REIGNS VS. BIG SHOW
    Roman wins. Big Slow needs to go. : (

    5- NIKKI BELLA VS. NAOMI
    Nikki retains title. As the divas division needs a dominant champ for a while to fill the AJ void.

    6- Daniel BRYAN VS. BAD NEWS BARRETT
    Daniel Bryan wins, in a high quality match!

    7- UNITED STATES CHAMPION JOHN CENA VS. RUSEV
    JOHHHHHNNNNNN CEEEEEEEENNNAAAAAAA

    8- WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
    Seth Rollins wins. Because J&J will interfere, because it’s a cage match, and apparently Randy Orton didn’t think about the other hundreds of cage matches where outsiders can interfere, and didn’t make it a Hell In A Cell for some reason. Short match too boot, 17 minutes

  2. New Day claps to victory

    Ziggler wins avoiding the blindingly white ass

    Dean Ambrose makes me proud (I hope)

    Roman Reigns makes quick work of the show

    Nikki I guess… bleh

    Daniel Bryan wins And makes the IC disappear from the show for months

    HLR takes it

    Seth Rollins retains in 23 minutes

    Triple H’s “The Game”

  3. Kidd/Cesaro

    Sheamus

    Dean Ambrose

    Roman Reigns wins LOL

    Nikki Bella, because Naomi’s basically an AJ replacement and she was never going to win it

    Wade Barrett wins and takes the IC title back to irrelevancy as Bryan goes back on the shelf

    John Cena, duh

    Seth Rollins retains in 21 minutes

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_zbCF2QNB8

  4. Winners:
    Cesaro & Kidd

    Sheamus

    Harper wins as he and Ambrose continue to be wasted

    Roman Reigns, of course

    Nikki Bella

    If it happens, Barrett wins and Bryan is gone till Summer Slam at least. Maybe they will finally let Barrett have a proper run with the title.

    John Cena, of course

    Rollins wins in 23:30 minutes

  5. Gotta say I’m loving me some Carolyn on the sight lately, especially in the wrestle-zone. Wouldn’t have even heard of LaserTime had it not been for TalkRadar, wouldn’t have heard of TalkRadar had it not been for Pokemon Monday. Props where props due, game recognize game, classy trainer recognize trainer class!

    Predictions:

    New Day win, turn full heel, and my love for them blossoms eternal

    Ziggler almost win, shenanigans, Shamus is a big bully now y’all, so shenanigans and tantrums and this goes on… a wild Neville appears

    Ambrose finally wins after a solid beating by both… maybe this is where Bray Wyatt works into the PPV… Anyhow, Ambrose deserves revenge for that ladder spot at Mania

    Naomi, she has the talent, the Heel turn was a great swerve, and the Divas roster is getting back to where some new feuds will be cropping up. Put Naomi as the power-heel defending the belt, gives our Paiges and Bellas and Natties all something to go for.

    RoRo puts down the Big Slob, I think we unfortunately wait for Show to throw in the beach towel or tarp or whatever comedically large sweat rag / mung cloth he uses, retirement would be a blessing, but dont hold your breath. (I hate Show currently, and he diminishes what is a legendary career with his current waddles to the ring. Im ready to grant him some respect again, but only when he bows out like a gentleman).

    Barrett puts DB on a stretcher, like that fakeout at last extreme rules when Bryan was carted off after those piledrivers from Kane. Almost a year to the day…

    Cena retains the Title, Rusev and Lana split, and hopefully Lana skyrockets to her own Divas career

    Rollins wins, but in his sneaky weasely way, and theres heat between him and Kane and RKO. I think shenanigans will abound, and J&J are gonna catch a few spots from the Devil’s Favorite Desk Jockey, and my dream of dreams is the mask comes back on and we all bathe in the fire…. 22 minutes

  6. Brass Ring Club
    Sheamo
    Luke Harper
    Nikki Bella
    Roman Reigns hopefully wins with DUCT TAPE
    Not Bryan, so BNB by default. If Bryan is replaced with anyone like Balor or Neville then they win. Just not Bryan
    Cena
    Rollins but there will certainly be some chicanery involving Kane.

    Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sDMt19MkRk

  7. Guys, don’t forget to include a YouTube link to your theme of choice; I only pick the top predictor who includes one! I can match them up if anyone who forgot replies in this post with their song.

  8. Kidd and Cesaro win due to failed interference by Xavier
    Ziggler wins because Sheamus turned on the stand up to bulling campaign
    Dean Ambrose wins because Harper doesn’t need wins to be relevant
    Naomi wins and Nikki makes a face turn as the diva’s need new faces with the loss of AJ
    Reigns wins by multiple spears and then one through something
    Barret wins in a match over Neville but no title changes hands as Daniel Bryan is still in holding
    John Cena wins by carrying Rusev in the AA position to touch the last 2 corners then giving him the AA
    Seth Rollins wins at 23 due to Kane getting involved.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZNB9ECSZKo

    BUFF DADDY

  9. Quick update; I’ll only be counting 7 matches when tallying, since the change in the Barrett match just muddies things up. You can feel free to predict a winner between Neville and BNB… it just won’t be counted.

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