1- WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TYSON KIDD & CESARO VS. THE NEW DAY
Why are the Tag Team Champs ALWAYS on the damn preshow!?! Kiddsaro rules, and the New Day is just getting interesting, yet they’re relegated to be a prelude to an opening match. I predict the champs retain, and this loss will finally get the clappers to snap.
2- DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. SHEAMUS (KISS ME ARSE MATCH)
I love Dolph, but I don’t see Sheam-ass losing his first PPV match back. However, the terms of this Kiss Me Arse match are pretty weak for an “extreme” show. If Dolph actually does it, it’ll be with trunks on, as I can’t imagine Sheamo’s lily white behind being PG.
3- DEAN AMBROSE VS. LUKE HARPER (CHICAGO STREET FIGHT)
This has the potential to be the best match of the night. I just want them to try real hard, and for Ambrose to finally get a win. I’m not sure if you know this, but Dean in 0-9 on PPVs since the Shield’s break-up.
4- ROMAN REIGNS VS. BIG SHOW (LAST MAN STANDING MATCH)
Roman IMMEDIATELY spears Big Show through the barricade and wins. When Show finally stands up, he announces his retirement. It’s been a fun ride, Mr. Wight. I salute you.
5- DIVAS CHAMPION NIKKI BELLA VS. NAOMI
Nikki, I guess? I have no idea who the heel and face are here, and I’m not sure the writers do either. When motivated, Nikki can be a badass, so I’ll just go with her.
6- INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN VS. BAD NEWS BARRETT
Sorry, got something in my eye right now… Oh Daniel. Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. You’ve been my WWE favorite ever since CM Punk left, but you have such awful luck. Here we are, in the first month of what should be an awesome IC title reign, and you’re already hurt. I hate to say it, but I can’t see D-Bry keeping it tonight if he’s gonna miss a number of months. So my beloved IC title returns to the trash heap a.k.a. Bad News Barrett.
7- UNITED STATES CHAMPION JOHN CENA VS. RUSEV (RUSSIAN CHAIN MATCH)
Rusev may have the advantage here, and Cena has the magic power to beat the odds against anyone other than Brock Lesnar. Cena wins and Rusev moves onto his new feud. Perhaps with Dean Ambrose?
8- WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS VS. RANDY ORTON (STEEL CAGE MATCH)
I do like Orton’s new look and the return of peach fuzz to his head, but there’s no way Seth will lose his first real title defense. I predict shenanigans, and me rolling my eyes at Rollins’ new finisher.
Up next… Carolyn’s picks!