LASER TIME’S BIGGEST VIDEO DISAPPOINTMENTS
I don’t like feeling sorry for myself, nor is it my intention to make those who tuned into our shenanigans feel like their investment of time isn’t valued. It absolutely is. But I’m going to air some grievances below and shed a little light on my thought process with Laser Time’s video smegma. Look: If I had my way, Laser Time would be 100% devoted to streaming garbage nobody in the world cares about. If I’m being honest, I wanted to corner the market on forgotten trash, and I’d be perfectly content to stream Rugrats Kart racers and Bruce Willis games all the livelong day. The world has enough League of Legends and Call of Duty streams, and I don’t honestly care enough about any one game or thing to devote a lot of time getting good at it, let alone streaming it consistently and competing with pros. But it became clear pretty quickly I was somewhat alone in that notion. Which is okay, too. I’m glad we streamed Mortal Kombat X and Bloodborne instead some obscure relic. It reminds me why I still love games in the face of a never ending sea of free-to-play mobile horseshit and glorified B-movies masquerading as corridor shooters. Furthermore, I don’t expect everyone to like what I like, so why the fuck should that not extend to our YouTube channel? I can own my failures, doesn’t mean they don’t make me sad. So with all that said, these are the videos and livestreams I wish had performed better.
Top 5 Tiny Toons Games
Super proud of this one. I love Tiny Toon Adventures and I love at least five Tiny Toons games. I saw nobody celebrating them in any way and I thought that was a fucking shame. I thought, that’s what Laser Time could be: A constant reminder of awesome things fallen into obscurity. That said, I’ve also worked at several gaming editorial outlets, so I know full well that pitching an ultra time-intensive video celebrating an obscure 90s cartoon would get me kicked out of the building. So of course I had to do it!
25 Mario Kart Clones in TWO MINUTES
The only thing I like more than looking into old games is watching an HD sizzle of a bunch of them in a short sitting. I have a particular affection for horrible, utterly forgettable licensed games, and four or five seconds is about all their worth. I’d wanted to make a regular series of video game montages, but you know, it’s a lot harder than you think and nobody particularly cared for this one.
I’ve always thought of Laser Time as a place where bad ideas come to thrive. Now, that’s absolutely true… except for the “thrive” part. So a few months back, Expendables 3 leaked, it bombed at the box office and few of us felt a little bit bad for Stallone and company. Laser Time had to help! Who the fuck else was going to devote a full week to a bunch of Stallone games? Hoping to corner that market, we spent a week on the man’s objectively horrible contribution to games, including the stupid fucking Cliffhanger Sega CD game, which contains so much licensed music and John Litgow clips from the film YouTube refuses to let it post. But the hardest thing to accomplish was to get a 3DO emulator working in order to show you the utterly hilarious Demolition Man game. Many games have been based off of the macho cheese of Sylvester Stallone, but only ONE stars the man himself. Stallone shot scenes exclusively for the version I’d bet only 100 people have ever played, and it’s even funnier that the game tries to be 16 different genres at the same time. Had this have performed better, I would’ve devoted my life to seeking out other things like it.
Guess the Game Commercial
Here’s the thing I like doing the most, but nobody else gives a shit about. The only thing I love more than old games are the old commercials that pimped them! You can get nostalgic on personal memories all you want, but nothing brings it full circle like revisiting an old commercial that undoubtedly cost more than every video we’ll ever make combined. I never thought Guess the Game Commercial would break the bank in terms of views, plus I absolutely love it because I love celebrating old games, cheesy/retro commercials, and VGM remixes, and I figured it’d also help me get better at editing video even if no one was watching. However, I greatly overestimated everyone else’s interest, mainly because I thought it’d be a fun to create a little YouTube game. However, viewers don’t seem to like clicking on something without any idea of what they’re about to watch. I get it. This is without a doubt the biggest loser of all of our video-based endeavors, but I’ll probably still keep doing them from time to time because fuck you.
Ninja Baseball BatMan
Streaming arcade game is harder than you think, but I finally got it down and it’s super fucking fun. I was born in the coin-op era, but playing everything was prohibitiviley expensive for a boy growing up on a $5 a week allowance. I love rediscovering forgetten arcade games, and it doesn’t get any more forgotten than Ninja Baseball BatMan, a gloriously colorful, silly and stupid beat ’em up from the arcade days of yore. Seriously, so much fun to play and watch. This was all I wanted to stream that day, in honor of the opening of Baseball season (Dave cares, I don’t) but we didn’t have enough confidence in this stream so we lumped it all into a Weirdass Baseball showcase. As a pop culture nerd who tries his best to make content people like, there is nothing I love more than throwing a little love to the utterly unloved. I had dreams that our rediscovery of Ninja Baseball BatMan would breathe new life into the streams, allowing us to dig up gorgeous arcade relics on a more regular basis. Sadly, that was not to be. But I’d still love to do more shit like this.
Dunno how all this sounds, but I felt like taking back the curtain a bit on our (my) thought process. I mean, a couple of people have expressed disappointment in our (my) video/site behavior, and I wanted to take a little time to tell you what was going on in my head. I don’t know anything for sure other than I wanna keep doing stuff like this more often, and I really want to know what people do and don’t like. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below, and be as honest as possible. Your input is important. And remember, the easiest way you can help us is sharing some of this horseshit with your friends every once in a while. And if you give a fuck, subscribe to us on YouTube and Twitch.