The Best New Amazon Releases: The Witchiest Of Witchers

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Which Witcher witches the witch? Find out by supporting Laser Time via Amazon…

Whew… Sorry, I still need to catch my breath from seeing Mad Max: Fury Road over the weekend. Seriously, that film gripped my heart at 120MPH, blasting me off to a dream world where sequels to ’80s franchises actually can be as good (if not better) than you remember. As a way of recuperating, I’m pulling together this week’s new releases on Amazon, and this is a pretty good one. You’ve got arguably the biggest game of 2015 so far, Mario learning some new skills from F2P RPGs, and an anime film that influenced a million weeaboos (myself included). We’ve got Amazon links to all that and more below. And remember, buying any of these things (or anything else) through those links helps out Laser Time at no extra cost to you. Lastly, let me plug, one more time, our commentary tracks for Avengers and Iron Man 3! Now get shopping!

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
The Witcher series seems like one of those games that’ll never catch on outside of a dedicated Eastern European fanbase. It started on PCs, is a harsh version of fantasy that preceded HBO’s Game of Thrones popularizing such a thing, and it’s got the kind of mature storytelling and sex scenes that scare Walmart. And yet, here we are with Witcher 3 being one of the most anticipated games of the year, ready to make next-gen hardware come alive like some powerful litch (unless you’re playing on PC, of course). No matter your platform of choice, the early reviews have been very strong, so you’ll likely want to pick it up sooner rather than later. And if you want to go all in (via our Amazon links), get the The Witcher III Expansion Pass as well.

Puzzle & Dragons Z + Puzzle & Dragons Super Mario Bros.
Getting a P&Z game is a massive exclusive for Japanese gamers, but even in the west the F2P puzzle game has its fans, so Nintendo is sharing its most famous mascots in the hopes of pulling those consumers over to the new 3DS. Released separately in Japan, $30 nets you two games in one, with the regular P&Z and Mario’s coin and blocks variation. I’ve played a bit of this, and the JRPG elements go a bit deeper than the match three design might have you believe. Consider this Nintendo’s first step into the realm of mobile games.

Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed
Gosh, this feels like the third time in a month I’ve written about a Neptunia game. This series began as a meta-commentary on the games industry and a JRPG overstuffed with fan service, and has now grown to fit its own anime and multiple spin-offs, including Action Unleashed. This covers two of the most popular niches in Japanese gaming: pervy Vita games and Musou titles. Yes, even Neptunia is getting its own Dynasty Warriors clone, and if you enjoy that type of real-time action and/or anime girls wearing little clothing, this is the game for you. Alternatively, if you’re a Vita owner looking to play anything new that’s exclusive to the handheld, this is basically your only chance for at least a month.

NewsRadio – The Complete Series
You know how Community has been this underwatched show with a stupendous cast, great writing, meta storytelling, and is nearly cancelled every year? That was the life of Newsradio back in the ’90s. Adrift on NBC during the years Seinfeld, Friends, and ER made the network huge, Newsradio just kept plugging away as a living cartoon, with some of the best comedians of a generation doing fantastic work. This box set not only allows you to rediscover the series, but the extras are some of the most brutally honest I’ve ever experienced. Creator Paul Sims hosts commentaries with Dave Foley, Stephen Root, Andy Dick, Joe Rogan, and a number of writers as they talk about what a madhouse Newsradio was to produce, and things get a little too real as people bring up old grudges and get extra morbid when talking about the fate of costar Phil Hartman. Get this to watch every episode, then watch them again with commentary. It’s totally worth it.

Ninja Scroll Blu-ray
I don’t like feeling old, but discussing anime often has that effect on me. When I was 15, you were lucky to see a rerun of Robotech on TV, let alone find a fullscreen VHS dub of Akira at your local Blockbuster (FYU, that was a store that rented films for money). So, for a youngster just getting into the world of anime after seeing Bubblegum Crisis and Ranma 1/2, Ninja Scroll eviscerated my idea of what animation could be. It was gruesomely hyperviolent, it was sexy, it was unpredictable, and each scene felt like the greatest video game you’d ever scene. It was everything a nerdy teen could ask for back then. Today it feels like the relic of a time when fluid, theatrical level animation would be produced without a tie-in TV series and toy line, but this action film’s extreme swordplay remains vibrant in this HD rerelease. True, watching Jubei’s journey has a few moments that make me shake my head as an adult, but it’s still at the foundation of my anime fandom, and it’ll always hold a place in my heart – that’s at least worth a Blu-ray purchase.

WWE: It’s good to be the King: The Jerry Lawler Story
Jerry “The King” Lawler may just seem like one third of the worst announce team in wrestling history, but he’s one of the biggest names in sports entertainment for a reason. It’s just that his best stuff almost entirely happened before his decades long employment in WWE. Lawler was the biggest name in Memphis wrasslin, playing one of the best heroes and villains the genre has ever seen. This documentary looks to cover the man’s entire career, not just his lamentable turn as the most perverted announcer the WWE has ever seen. The Blu-ray has his iconic Empty Arena Match with Terry Funk, his bloody championship match with Kerry Von Erich, and covers Lawler’s classic feud with Andy “I’m From Hollywood” Kaufman. The Blu-ray looks to have a lot of great extras as well, covering much of Lawler’s career that has not been seen by many modern fans. A must for any wrestling fan.

American Sniper
Even if we likely wouldn’t vote for the same politicians, I think of Clint Eastwood as a living legend. He’s made so many classic films, and despite his advancing age, the Oscar winner keeps putting out new films at a rapid pace. His most recent feature is one of the man’s more political films, and also one of his most successful, as it became a surprise hit earlier this year. American Sniper tells the story of what it’s like to be a soldier in modern warfare, all the stress and emotional damage it takes on a family, along with asking just how a man can take so many lives in the name of his country. Obviously, anything that deals with the Iraq War doesn’t put me in the best mood, and some doubt the film’s historical accuracy, but if neither of those things trouble you OR you’ll follow Clint to the ends of the Earth, then grab this now.

American Dad Volume 10
I kinda made a name for myself with some Laser fans via my hate for Family Guy. At best, it’s an above average show that gets more recognition than it deserves, and has likely been on about 4 seasons longer than it should’ve been. And yet, despite that hate, I’m actually an admirer of American Dad, a show that (on the surface) seems like a lame Family Guy knockoff. However, after a shaky first year, the series turned its back on cutaway bullshit, instead finding humor in the banal and pushing it into absurdity. The world of AD is just so weird that you come to love seeing every facet of it, and you start to become attached to the characters more than you think. The show has some impressive longevity too, as American Dad is now up to its 10th DVD set, which collects 20 episodes and has Sinbad’s ghost at no extra cost.

Billy Madison / Happy Gilmore Double Feature Blu-ray
Remember when Adam Sandler made movies you liked, not garbage full of product placement, him dating improbably hot women, and his best friends undeservedly getting leading roles? Well, if you go back and rewatch Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore in HD, you’ll probably realize most of that was true in his earlier films too, but nostalgia will win out in the end. These two films of violent, well meaning manchildren in slobs vs snobs comedies are just the right speed for people either 15 or emotionally aged 15, and I do still find myself laughing at moments like Kevin Nealon telling Happy to relax or Steve Buscemi carefully applying lipstick. Get this to remind yourself why you ever laughed at Sandler in the first place.

 

CAPE CRISIS RECOMMENDS:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPCOMING VIDEO GAME PRE-ORDER BONUSES
listed roughly in order of release date

Call of Duty: Black Ops III 
-Pre-order for early access to the Black Ops III beta.
Mad Max  
-Pre-order and unlock The Ripper vehicle early
Payday 2: Crimewave Edition  *NEW*
-Pre-order before the release date to receive the “Hardtime Loot Bag.”
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain *NEW*
-Pre-order the Day 1 Edition to get a physical map + DLC content which includes: • Adam-ska Special Handgun • Personal Ballistic Shield (Silver) • Wetland Cardboard box • Fatigues outfit (Blue Urban Snake Costume) • Metal Gear Online XP boost
Star Wars Battlefront
-Pre-order and get early access to 2 map packs, including one based on The Force Awakens
Batman: Arkham Knight 
Pre-order to play as Harley Quinn. Utilize her unique weapons, gadgets, and abilities. Plus, contains 4 Exclusive Challenge Maps
Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six: Siege  *NEW*
-Pre-order for FREE guaranteed Beta Access

 

2 thoughts on “The Best New Amazon Releases: The Witchiest Of Witchers

  1. How did the video game naming gods allow Neptunia U to come out on the VITA and not the Nintendo box? WHHYHYHHHHYHYHY!!!!

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