The Best New Amazon Releases: Say Yes! Yes! YES!

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The ultimate underdog gets a DVD, Tetris comes to another system, and two of the best TV series ever get the royal treatment…

The summer is upon us, and whether you’re out of school, taking a vacation from work, or adjusting to the life of the unemployed, you’re going to have a lot of free time now. You need shiny, new entertainment to fill those boring hours (you’re not actually planning to go outdoors, are you?). That’s why Laser Time brings together this weekly list of the best new releases hitting Amazon. The start of June is slim on games, but the lineup of Blu-rays and DVDs are looking fantastic. And remember, buying anything through the links to Amazon below helps out Laser Time at no extra cost to you – and you could also help by purchasing the commentary tracks for Avengers and Iron Man 3 on the Laser Time Bandcamp! But enough jibber jabber, let’s come correct.

Tetris Ultimate (PS Vita)
Shockingly, impossibly, unpredictably, another version of Tetris Ultimate has come to stores, and even stranger, it’s on the PS Vita a system mainly known for anime-infused JRPGs and a *womp-womp* sound effect. As the name implies, the developers at Ubisoft worked very hard to make this one of the most feature-filled versions of Tetris ever, including modes like Haunted, Endless, and Landslide on top of the classic modes you’re used to. Plus you get online battles, remixes of the classic soundtrack, and (hopefully) the 60fps action from the console version. Personally, I kinda prefer the Japanese weirdness of Puyo Puyo X Tetris, but a portable version of Tetris is not to be denied.

Heroes of the Storm
Originally known as Blizzard All-Stars, Heroes of the Storm is Blizzard’s attempt to take back the genre they invented. MOBAs began as the Defense of the Ancients mod to Warcraft III, and got to be so popular that games like League of Legends and Dota 2 have turned the genre into a billion-dollar industry all its own, dominating streaming services and even real sports channels. Heroes of the Storm has been in beta for weeks now, and is finally unleash upon the world this week. Can it overtake two of the biggest brands in gaming? I doubt Blizzard plans to lose.

Lord of Magna: Maiden Heaven
I originally read the title as “Lords of Manga,” and have been disappointed ever since. But seriously folks *adjusts tie*, this is a Marvelous title – and I mean literally, because the publisher is named Marvelous. Okay, okay, enough kidding. This is another niche Japanese title (does anything else come to handhelds), and it features, get this, seven cute anime girls that team up to save the world. The descriptions I’ve read make it sound like an action-RPG with dating sim elements, and I also saw comparisons to Valkyria Chronicles, which basically improves my estimation of it by 80%.

WWE: Daniel Bryan: Just Say Yes! Yes! Yes!
One subject that I’ll never run out of words for is Daniel Bryan. The best wrestler in the world finally, against all odds (real and imagined), made it to the top of the mountain in the WWE, and this special Blu-ray tells the story of the man’s humble start to winning the main event of WrestleMania 30. Bonus materials include the complete versions of some of his most important matches, plus bonus stories from Bryan’s life. A great way to celebrate the man as we wait for him to finally eal his nagging injuries.

Parks & Recreation: Season 7
Are you a dope like Chris Antista, who saw the first 6 episodes of Parks & Rec and wrote it off as a bad Office clone? For shame! The show grew into one of the funniest, and most heartfelt shows on TV, finding creative ways to bring the collection of talented actors closer each season. The final episodes get even more out there as Parks & Rec flashes forward to 2017, when the world has changed in subtle (and not so subtle) ways. See how everything ends up for everyone’s favorite strange town, and if you’re real behind on the series, consider picking up the complete series on DVD.

The Wire: The Complete Series (Blu-ray)
If you know a white, liberal friend who considers themself to be progressive (and just a little smug), you’ve no doubt heard them say “Dude, you’ve got to see The Wire. It’s like, the best show on TV. I mean, Omar, man. OMAR.” I know that’s what’s said, because I’m that very friend. Seriously, you have got to watch The Wire, a show about police and drugs that tells the story in a way that feels all too bitingly real to this day. With some of the best written and acted roles in TV history, including Idris Elba and Michael K. Williams owning every second they’re on screen, this Blu-ray rerelease needs to be owned by fans and noobs alike. At the very least, watch it so you can say to the next person you meet “Dude, have you seen The Wire?!”

Jupiter Ascending
I’ve yet to see it for myself, but I’ve heard people I respect say this film has an unearned reputation. People mocked it as goofy fan fiction starring Mila Kunis as a bee princess and Channing Tatum as a dog man fighting in outer space, and while that may all be true, The Wachowskis putting as much work into mythology and world-building as they did in the Matrix films. The campy adventure may have been panned by critics, but it has since grown a cult popularity, particularly among sci-fi-loving women. If you overlooked it in theaters, give it another try now that it’s finally seeing a physical release.

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water
Years after his last movie and soooooooo many episodes later, Spongbob Squarepants gets another animated film, this time venturing on land and showing off the kind of 3D animation that’s so popular with the young people. But the superhero action is only a small slice of it, as the traditional animation sees Spongebob team-up with Plankton of all people to protect the Krabby patty formula. This features all the old voice talent, and is even co-written by the returning creator of Spongbob, Stephen Hillenburg. This is truly the best day ever.

 

CAPE CRISIS RECOMMENDS:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPCOMING VIDEO GAME PRE-ORDER BONUSES
listed roughly in order of release date

Call of Duty: Black Ops III 
-Pre-order for early access to the Black Ops III beta.
Mad Max  
-Pre-order and unlock The Ripper vehicle early
Payday 2: Crimewave Edition  *NEW*
-Pre-order before the release date to receive the “Hardtime Loot Bag.”
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain *NEW*
-Pre-order the Day 1 Edition to get a physical map + DLC content which includes: • Adam-ska Special Handgun • Personal Ballistic Shield (Silver) • Wetland Cardboard box • Fatigues outfit (Blue Urban Snake Costume) • Metal Gear Online XP boost
Star Wars Battlefront
-Pre-order and get early access to 2 map packs, including one based on The Force Awakens
Batman: Arkham Knight 
Pre-order to play as Harley Quinn. Utilize her unique weapons, gadgets, and abilities. Plus, contains 4 Exclusive Challenge Maps
Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six: Siege  *NEW*
-Pre-order for FREE guaranteed Beta Access

 

One thought on “The Best New Amazon Releases: Say Yes! Yes! YES!

  1. Parks and Recreation will go down as one of my favorite series of all time. Parks and Recreation was not only the funniest comedy series on television, but also one of the sweetest comedy series on television. Plus, it has, quite possibly, the best comedy ensemble ever.

    Also, while you guys are big fans of Community (another series I enjoy), P&R, without a doubt, is the better comedy series. Following season 1, every episode of P&R was either excellent, very great, or great.

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