LaserTime’s WWE Money in the Bank 2015 predictions: make yours too!

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HANK‘S PREDICTIONS

1-R-TRUTH VS. KING BARRETT (KICKOFF MATCH)

All that Barrett has become is King of the Garbage Heap lately, losing to just about everyone there is, including getting pinned by R-Truth, The Rapping Goof, at Elimination Chamber. It’s sad, because Wade (or Bad News, or whatever) is such a talented, imposing tough man – and he has an incredible torso. Just to keep The King from reaching Jack Swagger levels of loserdom, I think he’s got to get some revenge on Truth beating him at Chamber.
Side note: Is Swagger still employed by WWE? I don’t watch Superstars. [EDITOR’S NOTE: He is. He lost to Barrett twice this month.]

2- DIVAS CHAMPION NIKKI BELLA VS. PAIGE

There’s a theory I read online that makes a hell of a lot of sense. Nikki Bella keeps shifting from good to bad every night thanks to WWE’s patented ‘all women are crazy, AMIRITE’ booking. Yet, Nikki keeps holding onto the belt, and it’s because WWE wants Bella to be the longest reigning Diva’s champ, thus taking the honor away from persona non grata, AJ Lee. That’s why I think she’ll win again, perhaps with the laughably ridiculous use of Twin Magic. There are at least four women on the roster that look more like Nikki than Brie currently does.

3- INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION RYBACK VS. BIG SHOW

No way does The Ryback lose his IC strap in his first real defense, especially not to PPV jobber Big Show. I just want The Big Guy to get a clean win, instead of some DQ or whatever to extend the feud. Ryback’s first title run deserves better that human road block Paul Wight.

4- WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE NEW DAY VS. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS

I’m glad to see the PTP get some momentum going, but they sadly seem like a team destined to never hold the gold – or copper as it were. The New Day (sucks!) is just doing too damn good right now, and a loss now will really slow them down. Even without Kofi, these positive m-effers aren’t going to be stopped by the Prime Time Players tonight.

5- MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH – DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. KOFI KINGSTON VS. NEVILLE VS. RANDY ORTON VS. KANE VS. ROMAN REIGNS VS SHEAMUS

As the last year taught us, winning the briefcase can be just as important as the Royal Rumble if played right. It’s like a ticking time bomb of plot relevance if played right, and immediately elevates whoever wins it. I also think that WWE is trying to shock fans more these days, so I think Roman wins it as part of a one-two punch of plot that I’ll talk about more in the championship prediction. My dark horse candidate is Kane, merely because it’d finally make the incredibly drawn out rivalry of him and Seth have some actual meaning.

6- JOHN CENA VS. KEVIN OWENS (NON-TITLE MATCH)

The predictable thing would be for John Cena to get his revenge in this match, but Owens’ WWE career has been anything but predictable. He came in and won the NXT title in two months (to the day) of his arrival, he’s currently undefeated, and he beat John FREAKING Cena clean in his first ever PPV match. Though it may be via cheating, I think Owens will win this rematch as well, setting up for one more match, or even extending it to SummerSlam. It’d just be too much of a waste to have Cena take down Owens this early.

7- WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS VS. DEAN AMBROSE (LADDER MATCH)

Dean might some day be WWE champ, but today is not that day. Instead, Seth will win it back in a brutal (and impressive) ladder battle against Dean. But what will fell Dean will be the ultimate etrayal from his other Shield brother, Roman Reigns. The last month Reigns has been way too chummy with Dean. To this ’90s wrasslin fan, it feels eerily similar to The Rock’s good guy phase previous to Survivor Series ’98. I think we’ll soon see Corporate Reigns make an appearance, with him selling out and holding on to MitB briefcase while working as an enforcer for The Authority. Yes, I know that’s out on a limb, and it’s probably more likely Brock Lesnar will just appear at the end and murder Seth, but I figure why not go a little wild with my predictions.

Up next… Carolyn’s picks!

19 thoughts on “LaserTime’s WWE Money in the Bank 2015 predictions: make yours too!

  1. King Barret
    Paige
    The Ryback
    New Day
    Kofi Kingston
    Kevin Owens
    Seth Rollins 21 minutes 15 Seconds

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZrqsF0AHBI

    WWE wants to make Roman’s first title win something special. Roman isn’t winning the belt until Wrestlemania, no way they waste his first time on a money in the bank cash in. Kofi winning lets the New Day freebird the briefcase, which would be amazing.

  2. 1. I can’t quit you King Barrett, no matter how much I try
    2. Paige
    3. Big Baby Ryback
    4. Millions of dollars! Millions of dollars! Millions of dollars!
    5. Reigns
    6. Superman
    7. Rollins in 22

  3. So here are my thoughts

    1. Barrett
    2. Paige
    3. Ryback
    4. New Day
    5. Roman
    6. Owens
    7. Rollins in 22:00

    Also for #7 I foresee Reings hell turning by causing Ambrose to lose, he then punches out Rollins cashes in to get the title. This allows for Rollins to make a face turn easier and sets it up for Brock to come back in as a face that people want to see win.

    8. Roman

    If I do win I choose the man who was brought in by Hilly Billy Jim, that is Outback Jack’s Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWHaCEjyzEo&feature=youtu.be&t=10

    Here’s hopin for 3 in a row.

    1. Oops! I forgot to put a running time for the Main Event of the Evening! I’ve got Rollins in 18 minutes.

  4. Right here we go again

    BNB because he cant be loser all his life, right? Right?!?!
    Nikki because blaahhhhh
    The Ryback
    Prime Time Players
    Reigns so he can terrorise Rollins or Ambrose with it
    Owens because he cant lose this early though I’m still dreading a Cena win
    This is a tough one, I’m saying Rollins because Reigns is gonna be there but i don’t think WWE have the balls to turn him heel…

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