1-R-TRUTH VS. KING BARRETT (KICKOFF MATCH)
I’d rather not be arrested for treason and thrown in a basement cell of the Tower of WWE, so let the record state that I predict our mighty and noble King Barrett to reign victorious against R-Truth in what’s sure to be an electrifying opening match.
2- DIVAS CHAMPION NIKKI BELLA VS. PAIGE
The writing for divas has been so consistently inconsistent that this one doesn’t feel worth the effort to even attempt to predict rationally. So I’m going to flip a coin, heads for Nikki, tails Paige. Flipping it now. OK, I flipped it. It was heads. So Nikki wins.
3- INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION RYBACK VS. BIG SHOW
There’s no way Ryback doesn’t win this – it’s just a matter of how much abuse babysitter Big Show will have to endure to get his paycheck on this one.
4- WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE NEW DAY VS. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS
New Day has been on a roll lately, and Prime Time Players don’t stand a chance of stopping them here. Regardless of Kofi’s level of involvement is in this match (probably interfering in some way?) Big E and Xavier are a sure bet to win.
5- MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH – DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. KOFI KINGSTON VS. NEVILLE VS. RANDY ORTON VS. KANE VS. ROMAN REIGNS VS SHEAMUS
Let’s go through this by process of elimination:
Dolph Ziggler – As much as I would love to see this happen again, it feels like a long shot. Predicting DZ will deliver the best performance in this match compared to his competitors, even though it’s hard to sell him not winning any ladder match IRL based on his speed stat alone.
Kofi Kingston – Kofi being on his own suddenly seems kind of weird, but he’s always fun to watch in these sorts of matches so I can see why he was pulled away from New Day to join the line up here. Like Ziggler, he’s here because he’ll put on a great performance and make whoever actually wins look good for winning. It’s possible he’ll win, but unlikely.
Neville – Probably too soon for this, but it would be an exciting turn of events. Again, will be entertaining to see Neville and Ziggler fighting over the ladder and running circles around everyone else, even if neither one ends up winning.
Randy Orton – NO
Kane – Eh, this would be kind of ridiculous. Unless someone from The Authority majorly interferes (as in, Triple H and Big Show holding the ladder steady while Stephanie and Rollins shout everyone else down), there’s no way Kane’s dress shoes are getting a foothold on this ladder. Of course, The Authority will probably reserve their energy to interfere in the title match, so Kane will probably be on his own.
Roman Reigns – Reigns has to win. Especially since he’s never held the World Heavyweight title, this will give him a chance to take a serious run at it. Normally this would be a totally boring outcome, but in this case it opens up a dramatic possibility. What if Reigns cashes the briefcase in the same night to take the belt away from either Rollins or Ambrose, his two former Shield bros? Indeed, it’s almost too crazy to contemplate. If Roman does win, here’s hoping that’s what happens and he doesn’t sit on it until SummerSlam.
Sheamus – He better not. I would deffo be pissed at this one.
6- JOHN CENA VS. KEVIN OWENS (NON-TITLE MATCH)
Cena will ultimately get revenge against Owens and eke out a victory here, but not before Owens gets in a few good jabs at his expense, both literally and figuratively speaking.
7- WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS VS. DEAN AMBROSE (LADDER MATCH)
Hmmm… Reigns could cash in here and take it. At least, that’s what I want to happen. Otherwise, The Authority will interfere as usual and Rollins will retain through the nefarious tactics of his benefactors.
So there you have it! Leave your picks below and don’t forget to list a main-event running time for a tiebreaker, and a YouTube link to your episode-closing wrestler theme. Good luck!