Halloween Returns! Let’s Speculate

Halloween, return, sequel, Michael Myers, Laser Time, movie, film, horror

Dimension Films recently announced that after six long years, the Shape is coming home to Haddonfield. Plot details are thin, but the film will involve a now 18-year-old child of one of Myers’ past victims, and a child of a cop who is obsessed with the Myers case. Since I consider myself the biggest Halloween around here, how about we break down the franchise and possibly figure out more?

The original film and its sequel were both set on Halloween night in 1978. If one of Myers’ victims just fathered or gave birth to a child that year, then the next film would have to take place in 1996, and the victim would have to be from the second film since none of Myers’ victims had kids in the original.

Of all of the people he killed in the second film, the obvious choice would be the smooth talking ladies man Bud. But that’s too obvious. What about Ben Tramer? Technically, Myers didn’t kill him; the cop who claimed “he came out of nowhere” did when he rammed him into another vehicle, turning poor Ben into Korean BBQ. Nah, I’m going with the long shot, security guard Mr. Garrett! Chicks dig guys in uniforms, so he had to have scored at least once.

Halloween, return, sequel, Michael Myers, Laser Time, movie, film, horrorNow on to the cop kid obsessed with the Myers case. This one is almost impossible to nail down, unless we assume the cop was involved, which means it could be the child of Sheriff Brackett. We know that Myers killed his daughter Annie, but it’s more likely that Deputy Hunt, who unfortunately had to tell Brackett that his daughter was killed, is the link. But what if it’s Deputy Marshal, the cop at the end of the second film who didn’t listen to Dr. Loomis when he warned against getting too close to Myers? If he is dumb enough to get that close to Myers, he’s probably not a frequent condom wearer.

Now to throw the proverbial wrench into the mix: what if the other films are cannon? Then the 18 year-old could be from Halloween Resurrection, since it occurred in 2002 and the child could have been been five years old. It’s more feasible than Jaime Lloyd’s baby from Halloween 6, who would be 18 in the year 2008, putting Myers in his fifties — better than current day, which would put him in his sixties. Unless Sly is playing him, that’s just too old for Myers to be considered dangerous.

Halloween, return, sequel, Michael Myers, Laser Time, movie, film, horrorThis is just a fan speaking, but I have to guess that Sheriff Ben Meeker is the father, since he is one of the better characters in the franchise, and a legitimate callback that my fellow Halloween fans would enjoy. The long shot here would be riot gun-toting Deputy Logan, who unfortunately didn’t check Myers’ chiropractic license before getting a neck adjustment. Let’s just keep our fingers crossed that Deputies Ross and Farrah [insert lame horn noise] were both childless, because I can’t take any callbacks to Halloween 5. It’s by far the worst in the franchise — and after H20 and Resurrection, that’s saying something!

I could go on speculating, but Id like to hear from you, Laser Timers. Let me know in the comments what you think about Halloween Returns. Any David Loomis fans out there? Let me know, yo!

Article by contributor Moan4Stallone.

6 thoughts on “Halloween Returns! Let’s Speculate

  1. I’m a big fan of the original series. I never saw the Rob Zombie files, and I don’t know if I care to see a new installment in the series.

    The new main character would be a kid of a cop from the original series, who was obsessed with Myers. They already did something similar with Tommy Doyle (Paul Rudd) in Halloween 6. While he’s not the child of something killed by Myers, he saw him first hand which actually makes more sense for him to be obsessed with Myers.

    But in the end, just because I’m over the series doesn’t mean it shouldn’t continue. If the buzz about is good, i may check it out.

    Good article, sir.

    1. Good ole Tommy Doyle who would be a great re-get for the serries since Paul Rudd is now a legit movie star but as a fan, I have one condition… He has to loose that stupid accent he was doing in part 6!!!! The director did write the underated film Feast and the Collector series so I can vouch that he is legit and probably one of the best guys to helm a Halloween film in 2015.

  2. Halloween is one of the worst horror franchises. Sure 1&2 were fantastic (and I unapologetically love 3) but the rest were garbage. I’m including the Zombie reboots as well. I like Zombie but his movies are all awful. The only one that has a modicum of quality is Devil’s Rejects…….and I have a sneaking suspicion that most B level directors could have pulled it off with the same or even better results.

    Just reboot the damn thing again. You can’t make a sequel to the originals or the Zombie films since they are too convoluted as it is.

    I mean, Myers was born of a satanic cult? Get the fuck out of here!

    1. And a cowboy wearing all black toom down an entire police force lol I know brotha you are preaching to the choir; but even with all of that awfulness, I still love the franchise!

  3. Oh my gosh, M4S agrees that Halloween 5 was the worst! VINDICATION!! \o/

    I admittedly am not quite as fond of Halloween as I am Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street, but even if they’re more straightforward, they have a simple charm about them. Agreed with Zap that first two are great and 3 is a classic in its own right, but I felt 4 was a worthy successor, 6 was crazy (and am glad the better cut was released for theaters), H20 had a good story and great ending, and Resurrection… is bad, but they at least tried to do something different.

    5, however, commits the worst sin a horror film possibly can: It’s extremely boring. It also has the most obnoxious teenagers I’ve seen in any horror film ever. The entire middle third of the film doesn’t test the audience’s patience, it outright TROLLS it. Seriously, no jackass should be able to slowly fake-scare his girlfriend twice and THEN EXPECT TO HAVE SEX AFTERWARD AND HAVE HER ACTUALLY AGREE IT’S JUST SO STUPID ARGH

    Oh, and the ending sucked. But rest of the series, okay by me, even Resurrection with Busta Rhymes as kung fu Jesus. That may have made it better, hard to say. Haven’t seen either of Zombie’s films yet and not sure if I should, but I’d be intrigued to see what Mr. Myers can do in a re-re-reboot.

    1. I am starting to think I somehow passed out and then left this legit comment on my article in some kind of Twilight Zone paradox! You somehow typed everything I felt was wrong with part 5 into the comments section! The guy playing Myers was the only shining part of the film and even he has gone on the record as saying, the script and choice of Director 100 percent are at fault for what released in theaters. Thank you for your input, it is “Dead” on!

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