Laser Time – The Worst Films by Great Directors

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Nobody’s perfect! Taking a look at the garbage made my true geniuses…

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42 thoughts on “Laser Time – The Worst Films by Great Directors

  1. Fantastic topic idea. Although, while I do strongly dislike Prometheus, I’d kind of say that The Counselor was a worse Ridley Scott film for also committing the sins of boringness and predictability, on top of the stupidity that Prometheus has.

    1. Fuck I might have to agree with Diana about Hannibal actually. Thst movie is even dumber than Prometheus and has worse writing. Plus it “ruins” the franchise and source material even more.

  2. I totally agree with Diana on Death Proof. That movie way too long and only pays off in the last 18 minutes. Before Death Proof, I thought Tarantino could not make a bad movie, and then this came out. Other than that amazing chase sequence at the end, Death Proof is supremely boring.

    1. Eh, I disagree. Tarantino has always been about delicious dialogue and Death proof is a feast for the ears.

      It’s a crazy world when Diana is talking about a movie being boring because it’s so dialogue heavy and Chris is the one defending it.

    2. I have to side with Diana also – a bunch of friends went on for months when this came out about how amazing it is, but I finally get to it found exactly the same issues. It is criminally boring.

    3. Definitely in Diana’s camp, no question. It’s the only Tarantino movie I’ve never been able to work up a desire to rewatch because of how damn boring it is.

      I will have to agree with Chris on one point, though- Reservoir Dogs holds up less and less with each repeat viewing. At this point, I don’t think I’m going to watch it again, just so I can keep my impressions of it positive.

    4. I agree that Death Proof is Tarantino’s “worst” – but I still do enjoy it a fair bit, so I guess I’m a middleground. It drags for the first half and isn’t the best thing, but I’ve never felt a desire to turn it off once I’ve started it, and I have gone back to it a couple of times.

      Meanwhile, I do think Reservoir Dogs does not hold up very well at all. It’s far from bad and it’s interesting and very Tarantino, but long stretches of Tim Roth screaming while bleeding out could have been cut down or reworked and I don’t feel a need to revisit it too often.

    5. I have a hypothesis that Tarantino intends for you to hate the first group of girls and to and find them boring. That way, you enjoy it when they are killed. The second group of girls are much more interesting, so you root for them to succeed against Stuntman Mike. The movie seems to make a bit more sense to me that way, even if its a little messed up, and even of the first half of the movie is still boring.

  3. I think we all know who to blame for Prometheus and it isnt Ridley Scott, but I like the movie, and hey we’re getting a sequel and another Alien movie so win win.
    I think Fox has gotten their shit together ever since Wolverine Origins and success of Planet of Apes and realizes they need to care about their franchises

  4. Haven’t listened to the episode yet, and I’m going to try to steer clear of the way too obvious ones, but a few of mine would have to be:

    Paul Thomas Anderson- Inherent Vice
    Neill Blomkamp- Chappie
    The Wachowskis- Jupiter Ascending
    Nicolas Winding Refn- Only God Forgives
    Kenneth Branaugh- Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
    George Clooney- Monuments Men
    Kevin Smith- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (Some would say Cop Out, but I haven’t seen it)
    Jon Favreau- Cowboys & Aliens
    Ang Lee- Hulk
    Martin Campbell- Green Lantern (Dude made Goldeneye and Casino Royale)

  5. Hearing you guys have a conversation about Pixar in an older episode of Lasertime got me thinking an episode dedicated to “The Pixar Theory” would be rad

    1. I’m still pissed a complete cut of that hasn’t been released. The only reason that fight scene was in black and white is because they had to make a lower rating. Give me colorful blood in all the glory that Tarantino originally wanted.

  6. Feels like forever since the last Diana episode, they’re always great.

    Chris I have no idea how you can enjoy Tusk when there’s 20 minutes of Johnny Depp seemingly adlibbing unfunny lines and is pretty unconsequential to the plot. Both Tusk and Red State are incredibly tonally inconsistent and feel like first drafts to bad ideas.

  7. #teamDiana I love whenever she’s on!

    I’m also excited that Prometheus is in the header, I can never hear enough people shit on that movie.

  8. Fantastic episode, both in concept and execution. My favorite in a while. It seemed pretty damn thorough, too, until I sat down and seriously thought of other directors. I’d LOVE a sequel to this episode. Maybe one covering such directors as…
    .
    Wes Anderson
    Spike Jonze
    Ang Lee
    Christopher Nolan
    Stanley Kubrick
    Woody Allen (sifting through the mountains of shit here would be hilarious)
    Sophia Coppola
    Hiyao Miyazaki
    .
    Just to name a few of my favorites. 😉

    1. ugh Kubbrick, granted I haven’t seen some of those really early movies… Eye’s Wide Shut. I know he was old, dying, whatever. But man that was mind numbing.

      Then again, I love The Killing out of all his movies. Not sure why, except the tension fees real compared to The Shining, FMJ, Clockwork etc. Makes me think about Barry Lyndon, used to like that one a lot… I should revisit that one.

    2. I, too loved the episode, but I couldn’t believe they didn’t touch on Kubrick. Here’s hoping for a follow-up episode!

    3. Oh shit, also Darren Aronofsky. Love that dude, but I think the answer for him is pretty cut and dry.

    4. Yeah I kept waiting for Nolan, surprised he wasn’t mentioned. This episode definitely needs a sequel at some point!

  9. I forgot The Terminal was a Spielberg movie… that definitely is the worst, but I would argue that War of the Worlds is a damn close second.

    1. Also, I 100% agree with Chris, Gangs of New York is hot garbage without Daniel Day Lewis.
      DiCaprio’s “acting” is just being smug or yelling.
      Cameron Diaz is a terrible casting choice
      You kill Liam Neeson 5 mins into the movie?
      Brendan Gleeson and John C. Reilly are pretty much wasted in the film.
      Its terrible through and through and it really builds into the Myth of Daniel Day-Lewis that he is THAT FUCKING GOOD AT ACTING that this movie was nominated for anything at all.
      ALSO BULLSHIT on Adrien Brody winning that Oscar over Daniel Day-Lewis.

  10. Diana is the Lasertime Grandmother, such old tastes, gets loud and confused easily. When she was talking about being lost when watching GotG it made me imagine her saying “Wait…..who is the bad guy” and Mikel tapping her on the shoulder and explaining things she misses in movies.

    I know this sounds like an insult but I actually do enjoy her ramblings, she repeats herself a lot and is still charming…like a grandma

  11. Hey Chris, how come these articles’ timestamp doesn’t show the date? It seems that’d be more useful than just the time.

    In the past I’ve found myself unsure of if a podcast is new or not because of it.

  12. Holy shit, thank you for reminding me of how much a fucking hate Death Proof. Easily on my list of top ten, if not top five, worst movies of all time. I’m gonna throw down the gauntlet and say that I think Quentin Tarantino is a total hack who has been coasting on early 90s goodwill for two decades. Remember that excruciating period from around 1992 to 1996 when QT could do no wrong and was the indie darling of Hollywood? Yeah, that was awful. Destiny Turns on the Radio? That stupid Top Gun is gay monologue in Sleep With Me? The mother of all indie-studio vanity projects, Four Rooms? Critics tripping over their Pulp Fiction boners to go gaga over Natural Born Killers?

    And, let us not forget the fact that for years and years, QT refused to acknowledge the fact that Reservoir Dogs was a straight up, front to back, rip off of the Honk Kong movie City on Fire.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HgbSAL8OKY

    Everything you hate about Michael Bay, QT does just as badly, if not worse, because Michael Bay doesn’t write himself into significant co-staring roles in his movies (or co-star in his friends’ movies). QT movies are long-winded, bloated, self-indulgent wank-fests. I would say their is no better example of a QT movie more full of itself than Death Proof, but I would be wrong. That honor goes to the dumpster fire that is Kill Bill, a movie that exists as two parts only because QT filmed a four hour kung-fu movie and refused to edit it into something watchable.

    Kill Bill is so ponderous, narcissistic, and self important that it makes Southland Tales look like a minimalist 40s film noir in comparison, and that is taking into account that Southland Tales features Christopher Lambert selling automatic weapons out of the back of a flying ice cream truck.

    However, I will say two nice things about QT: 1 – He seems to go out of his way to cast women and minorities in his movies and give them strong characters – especially women, unlike some other highly regarded directors (I’m looking at you Christopher “Sausage Fest” Nolan). And 2 – Jackie Brown is his one genuinely good movie, even if it does suffer a bit from his trademark overactive dialogue.

  13. If it hasn’t been mentioned in the episode, I’d like to tack on David Lynch’s Dune film! If that gets discussed in a sequel episode, you’ve got to have Brett on for it.

  14. Great episode. You guys mentioned a few bad directors like Uwe Boll, Paul W.S. Anderson, and Michael Bay. It might be fun to do a sequel episode where you defend the best films by bad directors. It’s a slightly more obscure topic but could be fun. I think you could make an argument that Paul W.S. Anderson’s Mortal Kombat, while not a great movie, is probably the best he’s done, for whatever that’s worth.

  15. Great episode guys, I always enjoy the showbiz-themed episodes with Diana, she really knows her stuff and is always fun to hear her.

    As for directors, I think one director whose worst film might be an interesting debate is James Cameron. I’ll discount Pirahna II because who’s seen that? It’s easy and popular these days to hate Titanic and Avatar, but I don’t have particularly strong hatred for them. Obviously he’s created some amazing movies like Aliens, Terminator, True Lies, etc. I probably would pick Titanic, just because it’s a film I don’t have any interest in rewatching.

  16. I was sad that Paul Verhoeven, who is an amazing director DIANA… wasn’t included. I mean, Robocop? Total Recall? STARSHIP FUCKING TROOPERS?! and of course, he made Showgirls, so his worst is obvious. Hollow Man.

  17. Really want to hear about what you think Kubrick’s worst movie is. Great episode, I had forgotten how terrible the The Terminal was.

  18. This is a bit late-ish, but I have three more to add on: The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl by Robert Rodriguez, Ghosts of Mars by John Carpenter, and Oscar by John Landis. I haven’t seen any of these, but I have been assured they are complete crap. I wonder what Moan4Stallone thinks about Oscar, actually…

  19. My favourite director is Darren Aronofsky…what is his worst film? I know most people would say The Fountain but I still find it difficult to get excited about Noah for some reason.

  20. Ridley Scott’s worst film has to be his version of Robin Hood! Such a letdown given its awesome cast.

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