The Best New Amazon Releases: Banana Split Edition

maxresdefault

Zombie killers get naked, vampires get funny, and Scoob and the gang are back again on Amazon…

July is on its way out the door, and I for one have had enough of the dog days of summer. I mean, yeesh, it was like 83 degrees last night or something in San Francisco! But at least the new releases list is getting stronger by the week as fall grows ever closer. This week we’ve got one of the most scantily clad games I’ve ever seen get an M-rating, boring driving, and vampires from New Zealand, all available on Amazon. And don’t forget, if you see anything you like on here, buying it through these links sends a little moolah Laser Time’s way at no extra cost to you. Oh, and did I mention the Laser Time Patreon yet? I hope so, because it’s really important to be sure to mention that, so I’m sure I did it earlier. Ok, let’s get on with the show!

Onechanbara Z2: Chaos – ‘Banana Split’ Edition
The Onechanbara series comes from the same place as Earth Defense Force, meaning it’s schlocky, silly concepts that are more interested in cheap thrills than high art. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, even if Onechanbara has always come with a heavy dose of objectification or fan service, depending on the viewer of the bikini-wearing zombie killer. Though Z2 Chaos is REALLY leaning into the sex appeal in this entry, where the action appears to take a back seat to dressing the four leads in as skimpy an outfit as possible. The Banana Split edition includes what must be the series most scandalous costume yet, where each of the girls wear strategically placed strawberries, a banana, and basically nothing else. If that sounds like a treat instead of gross, then you’ll want to pick this up now that Onechanbara has arrived on the PS4.

F1 2015
Honestly, it’s really cool if you enjoy F1 games. I seriously don’t want to judge that, because I have lots of hobbies others don’t get either. That said, I feel like there’s no real way for me to fake interest in this popular digital facsimile of this internationally popular sport. I kinda hate NASCAR, and this looks like “boring NASCAR” to me. But hey, don’t let me stop you from enjoying what you like while I watch pro wrestling.

Zombie Army Trilogy
I had absolutely no idea the first Zombie Army ever came out, let alone that there was an entire trilogy of them. Tangentially related to the Sniper Elite series, I’m told this is a third-person shooter that takes you to an alternate, zombie-filled version of World War II, and you’ll spend it blasting the crap out of the undead. A remaster of the first two games, along with a previously unreleased third entry. This has a pretty good user rating on Steam, so maybe it’s worth your $50 on consoles?

Robot Chicken: Season 7
Started as a goofabout by the former editors of a toy magazine, Robot Chicken became one of the highest rated shows on Adult Swim, and is now basically an institution of late night comedy. Would a snob like me dismiss it as a bunch of easy pop culture references that are only marginally better than Family Guy? Perhaps at one time or another, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t watched this at 3am, chuckling all the while as the toys of my childhood fart around. Get this DVD of the seventh season and leave it playing in the background of your next party. It creates a nice ambiance.

 

What We Do in the Shadows
Made in New Zealand and starring one half of the Flight of the Concords, this vampiric comedy has a lot going for it and I’m a bit sad I missed it in theaters. Jermaine Clement leads a collective of vampires in this faux-documentary as he takes viewers on a tour of life for the night creatures. as they try to adjust to the mundane nature of modern day life. FotC fans will also be pleased to see Rhys Darby in the mix of mildly improvised comedy. Who even knew they had vampires in Wellington, New Zealand?

Scooby-Doo! & KISS: Rock & Roll Mystery
Scooby-Doo and his clan of meddling kids have been teaming up with celebrities for years now, working with everybody from John Cena to Sandy Duncan, Batman to Don Adams. And this week sees the resilient dog working with every child’s FAVORITE rock ‘n roll clowns, Kiss. Yeah, the bad has been more interested in cash than rock for decades now, and Gene Simmons may be one of the grossest human beings alive, AND I highly doubt anyone under the age of 20 even knows who Kiss is anymore, but if there’s a place to be licensed and cash a check, Kiss will be there. At least the 1970’s style of the Scooby clan meshes well with the Kiss Army.

Blazblue: Alter Memory – Season One
I’ve spent several days of my gaming press career trying to make sense of this series, but I just can’t. BlazBlue has one of the most nonsensical continuities in all fighting games, and that’s really saying something. But maybe it’d make more sense to me if I watched the anime adaptation? Probably not, but it’s worth a shot.

 

SPECIAL SALES NEWS! THESE GHIBLI BLU-RAYS ARE CHEAPER THAN EVER BEFORE
The US Disney releases never go on sale, yet these are all set at just over $17!

 

 

 

Also, you can pick up the first two volumes of Southern Bastards for under $10!

 

 

 

 

 

 

CAPE CRISIS RECOMMENDS:

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPCOMING VIDEO GAME PRE-ORDER BONUSES

Fallout 4 *New*
Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection *New*
-Pre-order for early access to the Uncharted 4 beta, as well as The Nathan Drake Pack, which includes: Uncharted Drake’s Fortune Drake skin, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Drake Skin, Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception Drake Skin, Wetsuit Drake Skin, Nepal Drake Skin, Golden AK-47, and Golden 92FS.
J-Stars Victory Vs+ *New*
-Pre-order J-Stars and receive a free PSN code to download a digital version of the J-Stars Victory Vs+ Compendium, which contains over 75 pages of art, insights and information about the game and it’s vast cast of favorite anime and manga characters.
Mighty No. 9 *New*
-Pre-order Mighty No. 9 to receive the Beck Retro Hero DLC, an Artbook, and Poster; Plus Special Offer for PlayStation 4 Customers
Onechanbara Z2: Chaos – ‘Banana Split’ Edition *New*
-Pre-order Onechanbara Z2: Chaos and receive a free upgrade to the ‘Banana Split’ Edition which includes a soundtrack disc, an art book and DLC code for the ‘Strawberries and Banana’ costume
Call of Duty: Black Ops III 
-Pre-order for early access to the Black Ops III beta.
Mad Max  
-Pre-order and unlock The Ripper vehicle early
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
-Pre-order the Day 1 Edition to get a physical map + DLC content which includes: • Adam-ska Special Handgun • Personal Ballistic Shield (Silver) • Wetland Cardboard box • Fatigues outfit (Blue Urban Snake Costume) • Metal Gear Online XP boost
Star Wars Battlefront
-Pre-order and get early access to 2 map packs, including one based on The Force Awakens
Batman: Arkham Knight 
Pre-order to play as Harley Quinn. Utilize her unique weapons, gadgets, and abilities. Plus, contains 4 Exclusive Challenge Maps
Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six: Siege
-Pre-order for FREE guaranteed Beta Access

8 thoughts on “The Best New Amazon Releases: Banana Split Edition

  1. I love my Onechanbara, and I can gaurentee you nobody else in the world would care with me if it wasn’t for the fact that this year is such a miserable slosh that Z2 manages to be one of the biggest releases of the summer. I’d say 2016 is shaping up to be better, but it isn’t. RIP Gaming.

    1. Every week can’t be Dark Souls and Call of Duty. There’s been some quality games this year, at least an improvement over what I can remember from 2014. But I guess one week without a Hyper Neptunia release is a good reason to SHUT IT DOWN BOYS.

      1. You are a colossal boob. By this point last year, we already had Sniper Elite 3, Danganronpa, Thief, The Stick of Truth, Shovel Knight, Hearthstone, Mario Kart 8, Divinity: Original Sin, TxK, Smite, Transistor, Bravely Default, FFXIV, Titanfall, Dark Souls 2, Blazblue: Chrono Phantasma, Towerfall Ascension, Murdered and that was a slow start to a garbage year. Looking over this years the biggest releases have been Homeworld Remastered, Evolve, The Order: 188SHIT, The Witcher 3 and Bloodborne. The second half of 2014 had Danganronpa 2, Destiny, Smash 4, Velocity 2X, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Far Cry 4, Binding of Issac: Rebirth, Bayonetta 2, Forza Horizon 2, Guilty Gear Xrd and The Master Chief Collection. This year is seconded with Metal Gear Solid 5, Destiny Red Bull DLC, and an Uncharted remake. Compare any of this to the constant release cycles of 2004 through 2011 and watch as the industry jumps off a collective cliff. 2016 is set up with The Last Guardian, uhhh, meh, ooh uh, and maybe a few Amiibos. It doesn’t get better. This year sucks, last year sucked, and next year sucks. Whee. All hail the final years.

        1. Halo 5: Guardians, CoDBlOps 3, AC: Syndicate, Rise of the Tomb Raider, Just Cause 3, Mad Max, Rock Band 4, Guitar Hero Live, Fable Legends, Star Wars Battlefront, Hitman, Forza 6, King’s Quest, Yoshi’s Wooly World, XCOM 2, Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture, Until Dawn, Disney Infinity 3.0, Super Mario Maker, Mighty No. 9, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5, Lego Dimensions, Rainbow Six Seige, Need for Speed, Xenoblade Chronicles x, who knows how many downloadable surprise hits(like Rocket League) and of course, Fallout 4. But you’re right, we’re in the final years.

  2. Chris you need to sit down with Hank and have a talk. He keeps posting porn on the main site and not the Patreon.

  3. God the top image looks like a Real Doll fucked an anime body pillow. Aside from that disturbing image I need to get Robot Chicken season 7, and pray the more Adult Swim DVDs I buy the closer I get to a release of China IL and Frankenhole.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *