Don’t call it a comeback — Dudikoff has been down for years! Michael “American Ninja” Dudikoff is a man you need to know. The guy rocks, and yet you don’t hear much about him. But that changes today!
I think now is the time for him to make a comeback into pop culture royalty, and what better site than Laser Time to to be a platform for this star’s return. So I present to you, my fellow Laser Timers, five things you need to know about the Dudikoff!
5. He is, in fact, not Miklo, a.k.a. White Milk, from the Mexican epic Blood In Blood Out. “Give me your chone chone!” “Not right, now polar bear.”
4. He did have the best hair in all of Hollywood, narrowly beating out Step by Step star Cody, who had pretty great hair for a guy who slept in a van. Meanwhile, my hair is currently leaving faster than Jon Jones at the scene of an accident.
3. He is American and also a former ninja, thus making the American Ninja films autobiographical, replacing John Carpenter’s Elvis film as my favorite biopic. Kurt Russell put it down in that movie, though he didn’t quite reach Sebastian Haff levels — can’t beat Bubba Ho-Tep, man!
2. All seriousness on this one, he had an uncredited part in the film Olympus Has Fallen, according to IMDB. I love Leonidas, but come on, Dudikoff could totally take Gerald Butler in one-on-one mortal combat. Given that North Korean ninjas attacking the White House was the plot of the film, how awesome would it have been to pan out to the front lawn and see a shirtless American Ninja dropping terrorists faster than Konami stock.
1. He’s starring in a film this year called Navy Seals vs Zombies (not a joke), co-starring with an actor named Han Soto and former Laker/inmate of HBO’s Oz, Rick Fox. This must be a sequel to his previous 80s action film, Navy Seals, starring Charlie Sheen. Wait, who is Michael Biehn? So Michael Dudikoff wasn’t John Conner’s dad or the original Solid Snake? Shit…
Well, hopefully you learned something and I just cleared up some confusion about this Hollywood mega-action star of 80s royalty. Sadly, he is not quite as cool as I once thought upon learning he did not infiltrate Alcatraz with Nicholas Cage or fight zombie Bruce Willis in Planet Terror. But American Ninja and Beast Master, yo. God dammit!