Expendables 4 Dream Villain Casting

Laser Time, expendables, Expendables 4, cast, villain, roster, Hulk Hogan, Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, Danny Trejo, Brian Thompson, Al Leong, Kane Hodder

Expendables 4 might be happening… and with Hulk Hogan as a villain. I wonder who’s left to be put in this franchise? That’s not a knock against Hogan — he and Sly go way back, and the amount of “the ultimate male vs the ultimate meatball” jokes that Hogan’s inclusion guarantees is worth signing him on for. But, since Hogan does not have the acting range to pull off a movie-level villain, who is left for the role?

After doing some research, I present to you, Laser Timers, my dream villain casting for the next Expendables film. And, no, Bill Cosby did not make the cut!

Al Leong

Laser Time, expendables, Expendables 4, cast, villain, roster, Hulk Hogan, Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, Danny Trejo, Brian Thompson, Al Leong, Kane Hodder

If you have good taste in fine cinema, then you know this man’s work — his filmography is action movie royalty. Did you see Lethal Weapon? He was there applying electroshock therapy to one Martin Riggs. Die Hard? The terrorist with a sweet tooth. But his best (and my personal favorite) role was his turn as Genghis Khan in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. He also has appearances in Action Jackson, Big Trouble in Little China, Death Warrant, The Replacement Killers, and too many others to list.

Kane Hodder

Laser Time, expendables, Expendables 4, cast, villain, roster, Hulk Hogan, Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, Danny Trejo, Brian Thompson, Al Leong, Kane Hodder

Yes, I know his primary work has been in horror, but name one Jason film that was actually scary. No, the reboot doesn’t count — that was scary for behind-the-scenes reasons. Friday the 13th films were always more action than horror, so Kane as a henchmen or even a primary villain wouldn’t be that far of a stretch. He is still in amazing shape, stands like nine feet tall, and has some of the craziest eyes since Eddie Griffin in The New Guy.

Brian Thompson

Laser Time, expendables, Expendables 4, cast, villain, roster, Hulk Hogan, Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, Danny Trejo, Brian Thompson, Al Leong, Kane Hodder

This is probably the most niche guy on this list, so let me jog your memory. Remember that creepy looking serial killer dude from Cobra? No? What about the guy who put Joe Dirt in a hole? Still nothing? How about the punk who gets a Terminator-style dragon punch through his chest and helps clothe Arnold in the original Terminator? That guy. Like Al Leong, his filmography is a laundry list of some of my favorite films and TV shows like Three Amigos, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Lion Heart, and Walker Texas Ranger. He also portrayed Shao Kahn in Mortal Kombat Annihilation let’s scratch that one off the list.

Danny Trejo

Laser Time, expendables, Expendables 4, cast, villain, roster, Hulk Hogan, Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, Danny Trejo, Brian Thompson, Al Leong, Kane Hodder

He is kind of a played-out commodity these days, but I still love the guy, and he certainly deserves to be in this franchise more than Kellen Lutz or Liam Hemsworth. Those two were the worst casting in the franchise, but adding Machete would forgive everything in my mind. The guy has done more straight-to-video action films than even Steven Seagal, so I think he’s earned a seat at the Expendables table. Con Air, yo!

Dwayne Johnson

Laser Time, expendables, Expendables 4, cast, villain, roster, Hulk Hogan, Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, Danny Trejo, Brian Thompson, Al Leong, Kane Hodder

“Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?” Box office records, that’s what! He has been called “Franchise Viagra,” and for good reason, the guy is like Captain Save-a-hoe for played-out movie franchises. While he was still honing his craft in the Doom, he wasn’t the worst thing about that film, and I thought he wasn’t half bad as the villain. His line delivery has come a long way since, and he would rock bottom as a henchmen to, say, Ray Liotta. Good god, there’s a bonus pick for ya: Liotta was in the film No Escape, another guilty pleasure of mine.

Thank you for reading this and further indulging my unhealthy obsession with Sly.

14 thoughts on “Expendables 4 Dream Villain Casting

    1. If John Wick hadn’t of blown up for him; he would of most def have wound up in a future Expendables film. Keanu is great as a bad guy; check out man from Tai Chi or Sweet November, that last ones a joke (wink).

      1. Man of Tai Chi kinda rules. Keanu works well as a cruel gwailo exploiting the local fighting talent, and his direction on the fights is wonderful. Worth watching!

  1. How is Patrick Swayze’s cancer ridden corpse not the top of this list? If Hot Fuzz taught us anything, that is the greatest buddy action movie of all time, and yet neither star is in the Expendables yet. The obvious choice is cast both of them and have Keanu re-enact this firing into the air as Swayze’s body ascends into Roundhouse kicking while wearing jeans heaven. In Exependables 5, you can throw in a post credits scene of him bouncing people out of Heaven, while Sam Elliot narrates how awesome God’s Jeep Wrangler is at driving over clouds “Everytime Everest has an Earthquake, God is out four wheeling in the most manly vehicle known to deities”. Wait… Sam Elliot isn’t dead yet….?
    Uh… Well then never mind on all of this… it totally falls apart without him.
    Michael Caine is the obvious answer, but we already did that: http://www.lasertimepodcast.com/2014/12/20/why-michael-caine-is-better-than-sylvester-stallone/
    So I will say Clint Eastwood.

    The Racoon strike again!

  2. How is Patrick Swayze’s cancer ridden corpse not the top of this list? If Hot Fuzz taught us anything, that is the greatest buddy action movie of all time, and yet neither star is in the Expendables yet. The obvious choice is cast both of them and have Keanu re-enact this firing into the air as Swayze’s body ascends into Roundhouse kicking while wearing jeans heaven. In Exependables 5, you can throw in a post credits scene of him bouncing people out of Heaven, while Sam Elliot narrates how awesome God’s Jeep Wrangler is at driving over clouds “Everytime Everest has an Earthquake, God is out four wheeling in the most manly vehicle known to deities”. Wait… Sam Elliot isn’t dead yet….?
    Uh… Well then never mind on all of this… it totally falls apart without him.
    Michael Caine is the obvious answer, but we already did that: http://www.lasertimepodcast.com/2014/12/20/why-michael-caine-is-better-than-sylvester-stallone/
    So I will say Clint Eastwood.

    The Racoon strikes again!

    1. Your comments are better than my whole article sir! Cracking up, give me a sec….you have beat me twice now in regards to Sly articles. Sam Eliot part is legit gold brotha!

  3. Here’s hoping that the 4th one (if it does get made) has the sense to go very hard R. Someone should have told Stallone that kids don’t give a shit about aging action heroes. It was people like myself who paid to see the first 2 (though I did pay for the 3rd as well) because we grew up idolizing the actors who in the movie.

    That said, since Raccoonhail is throwing in dead people, I would love to see Pat Roach reanimated in here. You may remember him as General Kael from Willow (AKA scary as fuck skull guy). He was also in a bunch of other movies but Kael always scared the shit outta me when I was a kid.

    1. I think you just gave me an idea for a Heavens cut of Expendables! Id have to go with Tango and Cash star Robert Zdar because Sly interacting with past cast memebers is what the Expendables franchise is all about! He could play a “Maniac Cop” (wink) and Sly will have to take him down ala Assault on Prescient 13 style. Funny I wrote this two months ago pre Hogan meltdown so the Sly gods have answered my prayers. Well Mel was in part three so there is still a chance for Hogan.

  4. They need to combat an ANTI-EXPENDABLES team made up of 80’s / 90’s villains, and its composition is obvious: Val Kilmer, Alan Rickman, Carl Weathers, Kurtwood Smith (glasses guy from RoboCop / Red from That 70’s Show), Robert Patrick, Isaac Hayes, Chow Yun Fat, Gary Oldman, David Bowie, and Jabba the Hutt, all under the command of Donald Pleasance.

    1. Donald P is the best and would also be on the top of my list for resurrected actors to star in the next film! Fun Fact I first saw Donald on an episode of Outer Limits and fell in love with his acting way before I saw him in Halloween or James bond.

  5. Late to the party, but I just wanted to say your list is legit M4S. The Rock in a villain role would give the movie some real backing, but Al Leong would be the real gift to fans of 80’s action flicks. I just wanted to add Bolo Yeung as another great choice if age wasn’t such a real issue at this point. How f’ing amazing would he have been in an Expendables movie just ten years ago? Sly missed a great opportunity to group him and Jean-Claude Van Damme in Expendables 2.

    1. Man it would have fulfilled the promise of what the expendables was originally conceived as! Thanks for checking it out and its never too late to the M4S party brotha!

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