4 Crazy Fan Theories about Your Favorite Movie Characters

Laser Time, movie, film, character, theory, jurassic world, full metal jacket, vincent d'onofrio, han solo, indiana jones, the hulk, harrison ford

If we stopped over-analyzing movies, half of the internet would disappear overnight.

So let’s analyze, shall we? Characters drive a story forward, but sometimes they have big secrets. Some of them may even show up in other movies under a different name. Some of them may be part of a bigger organization they’ve sworn never to mention. Let’s dig in.

1. Vincent D’Onofrio plays the same character in Jurassic World and Full Metal Jacket.

Laser Time, movie, film, character, theory, jurassic world, full metal jacket, vincent d'onofrio, han solo, indiana jones, the hulk, harrison ford

Not much is known about D’Onofrio’s Jurassic World character Hoskins except that he never shuts up about using raptors in war. Why does he care so much about war? Maybe because he was previously in the army, going by the nickname Private Pyle. He quit after his drill instructor was mean to him, and now he wants to make sure no future soldiers go through what he did — by replacing them with dinosaurs.

2. “The Hulk” is a code name.

Laser Time, movie, film, character, theory, jurassic world, full metal jacket, vincent d'onofrio, han solo, indiana jones, the hulk, harrison ford

Three different actors have played The Hulk across four movies. Why so much turnover? Maybe because “The Hulk” is actually a code name given to whoever is wearing the purple shorts at that time, and “Bruce Banner” is a nickname they get because alliteration is fun. This explains why Eric Bana’s Hulk had straight brown hair, while Mark Ruffalo’s Hulk has wavy brown hair with some gray. It also explains the seemingly out-of-left field decision for Edward Norton’s Hulk to grow a patchy beard. What seemed like a huge leap in logic for the character was simply because that guy is a different person altogether — one who doesn’t shave as frequently.

3. Star Trek (2009) isn’t a reboot; it’s just the crew’s kids.

Laser Time, movie, film, character, theory, jurassic world, full metal jacket, vincent d'onofrio, han solo, indiana jones, the hulk, harrison ford

This explains why all the characters in the new films look and act almost just like their counterparts from the 60s version, but with slight differences. They were raised by them, so they picked up their mannerisms, and they look like them because of genetics. The reason they have the same names is because the utopian future of the Star Trek universe has surpassed the outdated need for children to have unique names. Everyone passes on their first and last names to be more efficient.

4. Han Solo and Indiana Jones are the same person.

Laser Time, movie, film, character, theory, jurassic world, full metal jacket, vincent d'onofrio, han solo, indiana jones, the hulk, harrison ford

Obviously, both are charming rogues who get the girl while being effortlessly cool. But is this a coincidence? No. We know from the beginning of Star Wars that the movie takes place a long, long time ago, but it does not specify how long. Could it take place in the far, far away galaxy equivalent of the 1930s? When the second Death Star blew up, did Han come to Earth and become an archaeologist? His technologically superior knowledge is why he always knows about the crazy magical artifacts he finds, and he swore to fight Nazis because he saw the similarities between their regime and the Empire he helped bring down — hell, both even employ stormtroopers as ground forces! It also explains why Indy likes to keep sidekicks like Short Round and that monkey: he misses Chewie.

Article by contributor Tyler Merrels.

4 thoughts on “4 Crazy Fan Theories about Your Favorite Movie Characters

  1. Star Trek explains that they are same people from and in a different universe. A universe where everyone is younger and rather than do star-treky things stuff just explodes.

  2. I’ve always been partial to this old tumblr theory about the Star Trek films being mirror-verse:

    what if khan’s blood does eventually turn kirk into a homicidal madman and that’s how we get mirrorverse kirk

    #but no think about it#what if all of these movies are just leading to a mirror ‘verse?#how terrible can we make spock prime feel?#what if every version that is not the ‘original’ is a kind of mirror?#that the original was the only ‘verse that achieved that ‘utopia’#because it’s such a difficult and fragile ideal#that pretty much anything will lead to it#(I mean it would explain so much:#the militarization of Starfleet#and the casual sexism#and promotion through death and emotional abuse#and casual violations of protocol without lasting consequence#and people not really caring about a planet or a major metropolitan area being destroyed#or people in positions of authority having not quite appropriate ‘interactions’ with those of a lower rank#and wow I’m suddenly almost ‘ok’ with the reboot’s story arc#it’s ok people! We are just heading toward mirror ‘verse#the last scene of the last movie will be the mirror ‘verse emblem and it will all make sense)#(lies I tell myself) (via)

    Holy crap. This is fantastic.

    Because hell yeah – promotion via death (“Oh, our CMO bought it in that last attack? Looks like you’ve got the job now, McCoy” – what the hell, that’s not how the chain of command works!), acting captain (Spock) and ex-first officer (Kirk) get into punch-up on deck and not alone an ordinary fight, Spock is very nearly strangling him to death, and everyone just stands there and looks on? Where the hell were Security in that scene? Nobody called them? Nobody – not even McCoy – tries to pull Spock off Kirk?

    We go from Spock not wanting to assign Uhura to the Enterprise in order to “avoid the appearance of favoritism” (translation: ‘everyone will think you only got the posting because we’re screwing’) to Carol Marcus and That Scene because while you do need to be good at your job, the unspoken addendum that everyone knows is that it does no harm to flash the goods for the guy in charge so he knows what’s on offer.

    No rank badges on the women’s uniforms unless they’re wearing the long-sleeved version of the uniform – not that far from the midriff-baring uniforms of mirror!verse for the women.

    No attempt to evacuate the people in San Francisco or even, as far as we can see, have a warning siren blaring as Enterprise and Vengeance scream through the atmosphere overhead – why, is this because screw them, they’re only dumb civilians?

    The only way the scene in Starfleet Headquarters with ‘Harrison’ makes sense is if Admiral Marcus is string-pulling: “Oh my, we’re just having a top secret high security meeting with the ranking Starfleet officers after a terrorist attack on one of our facilities, so of course we’re having it in an unshielded room with ceiling-to-floor windows where the guy responsible for that bomb can fly up right up to the window and blow you all away, conveniently leaving me in sole charge to prosecute my plans”?

    Heading for the mirror!verse makes a scary amount of sense. Vulcan (the voice of reason as most everyone accepts, the one planet which had a restraining effect on Terra because come on, the Tellarians and the Andorians aren’t even at the races in reboot) is gone. Starfleet is on a war footing, whether that’s admitted or not (they actively went out looking for potential threats after Nero which is how they found the Botany Bay and Khan), there’s not a word about the civilian government of the Federation – the President and Council – which makes it seem like Starfleet is the one body making decisions on a grand scale.

    Nearly thirty years of paranoia after Nero (the destruction of the Kelvin may have had a huge effect on skewing the development of both Starfleet’s approach and civilian politics) resulting in militarisation, seeing enemies and potential enemies everywhere, an attitude of “you could be killed in the morning through no fault of your own”, ‘dead men’s shoes’ being acceptable as a career ladder, casual sexism and trading sexual favours for promotion/better opportunities being accepted within Starfleet, casual and routine lying on reports (see how outraged Kirk is that Spock told the truth about what happened on Nibiru!) leading to blatant ditching of the Prime Directive, the perception that the only way Terra will be truly safe is to get them before they can get us – it’s easy to see it happening.

    Maybe the reason we don’t hear about Tarsus IV and how it affected reboot Kirk (because a traumatic event like that would certainly explain why he turned out to be “the Mid-West’s only genius-level repeat offender”) is that in this universe, the Governor is not regarded as Kodos the Executioner, but Kodos the Saviour – after all, he kept half the population alive until the relief ships could arrive, and without his forward thinking, determination and leadership, a lot more people would have died for no good reason (instead of being sacrificed as ‘useless mouths’ for the fit to survive).

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