The Best New Amazon Releases: Jurassic Assassins


Back to the Future finally arrives in 2015, dinosaurs rule the planet, and assassins adopt a motto in this week’s new releases…

I hope you all appreciate that this week’s sub-headline has the word “ass” in it three different times. But even if you somehow missed my biting commentary, I hope you’re having a spooky good time in the lead up to Halloween. The releases are getting bigger each week as we continue our march to Black Friday, including your yearly dose of Assassin’s Creed, a multiplayer edition of Zelda, and a Back to the Future Blu-ray set to celebrate the day they arrive in 2015. Oh, and there’s the physical release of the most-seen film of the year – at least until Star Wars shows up. Buying any and all of those things via our Amazon links helps support this site, just like the very popular Laser Time Patreon. Now, pitches, it’s time to look through another week of stuff and see if our wallets can survive it…

Assassin’s Creed Syndicate
It’s the fall, so it must be time for another Assassin’s Creed game. And Syndicate has a lot of ground to make up after the debacle that was Unity. Can this Dickensian take on hired murder avoid similar pitfalls with microtransactions and launching super-duper broken on day one? Will Syndicate put Ass Creed back on the top of gaming’s AAA heap, or is this another year that continues the franchise’s decline in this new-gen world? Alls I know is you can pick it up this week, though I won’t fault you if you wait a few days to make sure they shipped Syndicate with working faces.

The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes
Rumors may be flying that Nintendo’s next console is arriving next year, but for now you’re going to have to settle for this clever three player approach to Zelda’s dungeon crawling. Not only do you and a trio of friends explore on your 3DS, but you can even do it online, a very big change for a Nintendo developed game. Oh, and you can play dress up, even outfitting Link in the badass royal dress he’s always deserved. Sure, you started the year thinking you’ll play Zelda Wii U in the fall, but hey, this isn’t chopped octorok liver.

Guitar Hero Live
Rock Band 4 launched this month, and wouldn’t you know that Activision’s plastic guitar experience is right behind it. And the musical note action is now experienced from a live action, first-person perspective. If all of that made you go “huh?” you’re hardly alone. Guitar Hero was once the biggest thing in gaming, but how will GH’s comeback tour work out? Will it look great and remind you of better times, like Elvis’ comeback? Or will it be bloated and sad, like Elvis’ corpse? This new-gen launch will show the world one way or the other.

Gravity Falls: Legend of the Gnome Gemulets
Unlike in my youth, a physical release of a licensed game like this one is a very unexpected thing, even when it’s a series as great and endearing as Gravity Falls. The cute twins solve mysteries in the Pacific Northwest town in the title, and now they’re doing it in a Ubisoft game. I only hope that Mabel has a power-up that involves getting a light-up sweater with her name on it, and that the game is at least as good as Ducktales. I know those are both big dreams, but as Mabel would sing, “Don’t start un-believing!”

Tales of Zestiria
I won’t try to pretend that I understand the Tales series, though a number of people I respect have come to love it more than Final Fantasy. And Zestiria is the game Bandai-Namco published to celebrate Tales’ 20th anniversary, making this entry something of a throwback to titles of old. And yet, this is ALSO the first Tales game on new-gen systems, as the western release gets a port to the PS4, along with a release on Steam to boot. The PlayStation 4 is a bit light on role-playing games at the moment, so if you’re dying to do some levelling up on the PS4, Zestiria could be your best option for some time.

Jurassic World
This film’s impossible levels of success and popularity is one of the few times I’ve felt out of touch with today’s moviegoers. I saw Jurassic World and gave 95% of a big ol’ shrug – Chris Pratt seems to be hiding his natural charm as best as possible, while Bryce Dallas Howard runs around in heels for WAY too long. And yet this film with a ridiculous Frankenstein dino and Vincent D’Onofrio doing barely anything made a gazillion dollars in theaters. Now Jurassic World has a sequel coming, and the Blu-ray is here to soak in a million replays until the follow-up arrives. Am I so out of touch to really only enjoy Lauren Lapkus’ comic relief? No… it’s the children who are wrong.

Dragon Ball Z – Resurrection ‘F’
The rest of this week’s list is made to comfort the many scared, rapidly aging nerds like myself. First off we have the second Dragon Ball Z film since the series restarted with Battle of the Gods in 2013. This not only features the return of DBZ’s best villain-not-named-cell, but it also sees the reveal of another, higher level of Super Saiyan, one that I hopes retcons the existence of SS4 Goku from GT. I’m sure this is a plenty brainless film, but 90 new minutes of Saiyans screaming about their power levels while a robot named after a refridgerator attempts to destroy Earth is hard to pass up. Though it’ll be hard to watch Piccolo get jobbed out once more to establish how tough the film’s villain is.

Back to the Future: The Complete Adventures
As you’ve no doubt heard from the Laser Time goofs all year long, October 21 of this year is the date that Doc, Marty, and Jennifer go 30 years into the future to save the McFlys once more. Obviously we don’t have hoverboards or a Jaws 19 – though who’s to say The Cubs won’t win the World Series a little later than predicted? – but what we do have are Blu-rays that hold every BttF related filmed product around.along with all 26 episodes of the Saturday morning cartoon that you may be remembering as better than it really is. All this in a flux capacitor tin! If you’ve yet to jump on the BttF bandwagon, this seems like the best entry point beyond owning a refurbished Delorean.

Atari: Game Over
Some people can travel back in time by driving 88 mph, but the rest of us pleebs have to do so by digging up garbage in Nevada. The first (and kinda last) production of Xbox’s film division, this documentary explores the legacy of Atari and the first massive success in video gaming, from its roots with Pong to the near collapse of the entire industry that led Atari to bury unsellable games in the desert. E.T. remains one of the worst games ever made, yet if you bury it for 30 years with a bunch of other crap, it becomes a treasure worth searching for. History is a funny thing, as this documentary makes very, very clear.


The Collected Works of Hayao Miyazaki
Hayao Miyazaki is the most celebrated animator of the last 50 years, and for good reason. Films like My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki’s Delivery Service, and Princess Mononoke are some of the most fully realized worlds ever shown in theaters, capturing the hearts of people from just about every age and part of the planet. Now that he’s retired, Amazon has an exquisite looking special collection of every feature length film Miyazaki directed all in one box set. Plus, there are some fantastic bonuses as well that will likely justify the price. Out this November, this looks like a great gift for those you love most.

Meanwhile, the US Disney releases never go on sale, yet these are all set at $17, with some as low as $13!















Halo 5: Guardians
-Pre-Order Halo 5: Guardians from and get access to the Projection SMG with Long Barrel . The SMG is a compact, fully-automatic firearm used by the UNSC
Tom Clancy’s The Division
-Pre-order your copy of Tom Clancy’s The Division today for guaranteed access to the upcoming Beta
Assassin’s Creed Syndicate
-Pre-order now and get the Darwin & Dickens Conspiracy Mission – Enter the inner sanctums of London’s most influential men. Defend Charles Darwin from those who seek to silence him. And help a friend of author Charles Dickens keep a secret that could get him killed
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
-Pre-order “Deus Ex: Mankind Divided” to gain access to the “Augment Your Pre-Order” program to choose your own rewards
Fallout 4
– Pre-Order Fallout 4 to get a physical Vault-Tec Perk Poster, fully colorized retro fun for the ultimate Wasteland survivor
Mighty No. 9
-Pre-order Mighty No. 9 to receive the Beck Retro Hero DLC, an Artbook, and Poster; Plus Special Offer for PlayStation 4 Customers
Call of Duty: Black Ops III 
-Pre-order for early access to the Black Ops III beta.
Star Wars Battlefront
-Pre-order and get early access to 2 map packs, including one based on The Force Awakens
Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six: Siege
-Pre-order for FREE guaranteed Beta Access

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