Laser Time – The Worst Disney Song Covers

laser-time-worst-disney-song-covers

Terrible remixes, preteen pop stars desecrating classics, punk and ska puke, plus plenty more cringe-worthy covers courtesy of The Walt Disney Company. Let it go and join our listening party!

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29 thoughts on “Laser Time – The Worst Disney Song Covers

  1. So I actually have a rather personal story involving a certain remix of the Lion King opening song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0NWey_E36I
    So I was at my sleep away camp during my final year as a camper. During the color war, it came time to do the very last activity, a skit that each team would put on, before the color war ended and everyone stopped caring about competitive spirit. What can I say, my very Jewish camp wasn’t very spirited. Our group did a quasi interpretive dance to that song, King of Africa, which involved us acting out portions of the Lion King to dubstep. I wouldn’t for the life of me be able to replicate that dance now, but it is a very fond memory and I have never gotten that song out of my head to this day. Jury is still out on that being a blessing or a curse.

  2. Finally a Chris Disney episode and Grimm is back.

    I was listening to Late Night Alumnis Whole New World cover just the other day

    I dont mind changing a song to your gender, I actually do it all the time.

  3. Man, I love the fuck out of the Vandals (and would argue against them being classified as pop-punk) but that Heigh Ho is painful. Their Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious is far superior (and thus unfit for this show). This was really fun.

  4. The story I heard behind that ‘meme school’ clip is that’s Bowie referring to his wishes to study at mime school in the 60s – he just thought Americans pronounced ‘mime’ as ‘meem’ so that’s how it came out.

  5. I hate that I know this, but Smash Mouth actually name checks Louis Prima in a deep cut off over their debut album Fush Yu Mang (i.e., the one with “Walkin’ On The Sun” on it). I regrettably listened to this album many, many times in my less discerning days. In any event, track 5 “Heave-Ho” has the following lyrics in the second verse:

    Neighbor called my landlord
    It was a sunday afternoon
    She couldn’t hear the tv set
    We were having a bbq
    We were listening to louis prima
    And drinking meisterbrau
    If she would have come and talked it over
    And she wasn’t a lazy cow
    So she got bent and raised the rent
    Said it would only take one more
    Phone call from my whiny neighbor

  6. You what the worst part of this? When I go check the youtube videos for these covers… people are saying “WoW, I really like this!” I have no words.

  7. It’s too bad the topic is just “worst” Disney covers. I wanted you to play Alicia Key’s version of the Gummi Bears themes.

  8. You asked for it, here it is. I present a track by track review of Lou Bega’s seminal 1999 album, A Little Bit of Mambo.

    1. Mambo No. 5: Does anyone really need me to describe this song? If you dig a little deeper it only gets better, as there is a bowdlerized Disney version, which is totally justified because there is nothing more offensive than tepid, Latin-inspired Europop.

    2. Baby Keep Smiling: Opens with a fake record scratch, followed by thumping bass with some of the worst compression artifacts I have ever heard. The first few verses give the impression of a serial flasher preparing for a night on the town and then the chorus hits. Imagine doo-wop crossed with the lyrical proficiency of a B-tier Barney the Dinosaur songwriter. It’s kind of catchy in the worst possible way.

    3. Lou’s Cafe: Lou whistles the tune of the previous track as he walks into a building where, inexplicably, people are happy to see him. That’s all there is, because every album in the 90s needed skits.

    4. Can I Tico Tico You: Opens with an instrumental ripped from a Turbografix shooter, transitioning into what sounds like the same Mambo sample and awful 90s techno effects. “Can I rock it, can I knock it, can I lick it, can I kick it, can I top it”. Apparently, Lou likes sex. I kind of zoned out during this track while trying to guess what Tico Tico means. Since he never bothered to explain it and neologisms bug me, I’m just going to assume it means “anal prolapse”.

    5. I Got A Girl: This baby begins by sampling the exact same song as Mambo No. 5, except from a little further way. He starts singing and IT IS Mambo No.5, except he counts up from 6 this time. It’s a sequel! This time, Mr. Bega claims to have a girl in Paris, a girl in Rome… and a girlfriend everywhere. First time around it was girls with different names, now it is girls in different cities. Now he’s screwing Aliens. Fuck it, next track.

    6. Tricky Tricky: Ah, here we are. The inevitable song about how women are gold-digging, soul destroying monsters. Even better, it sounds exactly the same as every other song on this magnificent album. This man is a wordsmith of the highest caliber. “Hang out with my boys, making lots of noise” “I am what I am, so damn”. Someone got a rhyming dictionary for his birthday!

    7. Icecream: A less sophisticated take on the Baha Men. Lou attempts to rap. Apparently, he still likes sex.

    8. Beauty on the TV Screen: This one leads with a rather groovy piano and jazz bass combo. Then Lou starts singing. This song is also about sex. I guess repeating the same line a dozen times counts as a chorus, right? This would actually be a decent song if it weren’t for the jackass warbling over the music.

    9. 1+1=2: A third song with the exact same sampled beat as Mambo No. 5. For a man whose entire schtick is combining Mambo samples with modern pop music, you’d think he’d have a deeper library of samples. This is the same song as Mambo No. 5. Look it up.

    10. The Most Expensive Girl in the World: A Japanese convenience store jingle leads into the story of Jimmy, a guy who has money but the most expensive girl in the world. That jingle is kind of hypnotic. Maybe it’s the whisky talking, but this mush mouthed motherfucker needs to enunciate because I have no idea what he’s saying anymore. This is the most annoying song so far. Apparently, some guy named Larry is involved. I know this because Lou said his name three times in a row. He must be important.

    11. The Trumpet Part II: Did I miss part 1? Anyway, this song is 6 minutes long. About 3 minutes in he starts to sound an awful lot like DMX. This song is actually kind of pleasant, if only by virtue of the fact that there are only 3 lines and droning repetition is easy to ignore.

    12. Behind Stage: Another skit. This one features Mickey Rooney from Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

    13. Mambo Mambo: This would be a legitimately great song if it weren’t for the idiot talk-singing over it.

    It’s done!

    Best Song: Behind Stage
    Worst Song: The Most Expensive Girl in the World

  9. oooh! Cheryll! “sigh” be still my beating heart. I’m all a swoon.
    X3 you know, as much as I like the three little pigs, I really enjoy the Three Little Bops more. so good.

  10. Wow Chris. I had completely forgot ever witnessing the electrical carnival and its music, but you brought a little piece of my childhood back. Like a hypnotic blurr of color and dizzying synthe. I can’t recal ever experiencing it at Disneyland. It must’ve been when I went on vacation down in Florida with my parent when I was very little, like two. I’m 26 now…. yay.

  11. That first Circle of Life remix you played for us was actually Drum & Bass, not Dubstep. It’s actually not bad for what it is, but I don’t know anyone who’d dare drop that during a set outside of trolling the dance floor.

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