Laser Time – Neutered Sequels

laser-time-neutered-sequels-episode

Who needs nudity and profanity when you can market movies to kids? We examine the long history of film franchises that toned things down (and usually insulted our intelligence) in sequels.

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21 thoughts on “Laser Time – Neutered Sequels

  1. Off the head my least favourite example of this is probably RoboCop 3. As bad as some of the other perpetrators get, I can’t think of a single likeable or interesting thing about that god foresaken movie.

  2. ROBOCOP 3 ARGH ROBOCOP 3 JUST AUGH WHY DID IT EVER EXIST IT IS ONE OF THE WORST BLIGHTS IN ALL OF HUMAN EXISTENCE AND ITS VERY FESTERING PRESENCE HAS MADE THE WORLD A POORER PLACE EVEN TWENTY YEARS LATER

    *cough*

    Looking forward to hearing the episode!

  3. A modern example that I would like to comment on to add to this topic is the expandables franchise, I do love love these movies and the first two are tones of fun to watch for any action fan, both of them are a hard r while the last one, the third one, became a pg 13, which I was quite disappointing that they didnt stick to their roots because who are these movies for? fans who grew up with sly, dolph and arnold. The only nice thing i can say about 3 is that antonio banderas is the best part in that movie and when you watch him you can tell that he’s having the most fun.

  4. As bad as Robocop 3 was, it doesn’t hold a candle to how tamed down the TV show was. In the opening sequence to the first episode, there is a thug shooting Robocop point blank, but instead of just shooting him, Robo instead shoots the leg off of a big china cabinet, causing it to fall on the guy. And it pretty much went downhill from there.

        1. I don’t think it’s biased to think the original is a far superior film on both individual film’s merits. For me the remake had an interesting idea with the modern drone warfare angle but the main lead was not at all compelling, villains no where near as memorable and too much of the script relied on one of my most hated aspects of some remakes being “that was in the original so let’s put it in ours even though it doesn’t fit or make sense with our own original ideas rather than run with and develop new ones”.

          For example, The Thing is a better film than the original The Thing From Another World, both ideas coming from a novel but the prequel/pseudo remake of The Thing in 2011 falls pray to this.

  5. Looking left to right on the cover image, it’s a downright travesty how some of the franchise would play out in the end, Die Hard in particular. The most recent was not just bad as a Die Hard film but was so poorly made I stopped watching after 30 minutes, something that I tend to never do even when I can see the film being bad.

    I just hope with the recent success of Deadpool that some producers see it as an example of not substituting making a lot of money. Granted I know the success might of been on the character but I still like to hope for future projects.

  6. What!? European Vacation was PG-13!? It’s got naked boobs in it! And the cupping thereof.

    Also, how dare you slander Gerard Butler? He co-stars in the greatest movie in the career of both Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey. Reign of Fire.

  7. I was pretty shocked to find out that EuropeN Vactation was PG-13. I remember seeing that at a friend’s birthday party and one kf the guys kept rewinding to rewatch the scene with all the topless women. I know they also filmed a variation of that scene where the women were covered up for TV, but the version we rented clearly had boobs. They were the first boobs I ever saw in a movie, too.

  8. Oh man! The commercial for Thirty, Twenty, Ten was the EXACT spot I lost my shit while listening to that episode!

    Also, this episode is great. I never knew who ran Bartertown until just now.

  9. I’ve heard a version of the industry joke that Henry told. It was said by a director (of a movie mentioned on this episode) to a successful producer (my boss at the time), and the butt of the joke was Bruce Greenwood.

  10. I can’t find any clips of it, but the best TV edit was for Smokey and the Bandit, where they dubbed over Jackie Gleason’s litany of curses and insults with the guy who did the voice for Fred Flintstone for the Fruity Pebbles commercials, and it’s as jarring as you can possibly imagine.

    Also some Mr. Falcon trivia from IMDB

    The US broadcast version changed the famous “Yippee-kay-aye, motherfucker!” line at the end (where Bruce Willis throws the lighter onto the trail of fuel to blow up the plane) to say “Yippee-kay-aye, Mr. Falcon!” In order for this “Mr. Falcon” line to make sense, the scene with the soldiers in the plane is also changed so that one of the soldiers calls one of the two main bad guys “Mr. Falcon.” This likely refers to Esperanza, given that “Falcon” is the codename used by Esperanza when Colonel Stuart (codename “Eagle Nest”) is guiding Esperanza down to the runway.

    1. I can’t believe it, I found the other person who knows about the “Mr. Falcon” line. I think we’re now obliged to join forces and fight crime.

  11. I simply must beg of you to give Predator 2 a chance, Chris. In fact, I once wrote a piece for some website called Laser Time where I outlined just how good the movie is: http://www.lasertimepodcast.com/2015/08/20/8-reasons-predator-2-is-the-best-in-the-series/

    And Henry is selling Danny Glover short. He isn’t just reprising his Murtaugh character – he is WAY more aggressive in Predator 2, almost to the point of becoming actively hostile towards the people watching the movie.

    As for AvP-Requiem, that is worth checking out as well. I’m not saying it is great, but holy cow is it violent. It’s like they went out of their way to apologize for the PG-13 rating of AvP and ended up overcompensating the other way. The violence is so over the top that it gets borderline grotesque at times. Look, all I’m saying is that a hospital maternity ward gets turned into an Alien hive.

    1. Requiem was one of the darkest films I ever saw… in that the lighting was so dark and poor at times I could barely tell what was happening at times.

  12. I have to admit Live Free or Die Hard is a guilty pleasure/shame film of mine… Granted I was 14 when out came out but I still think it’s a fun action movie divorced from the franchise and leagues better than A Good Day to Die Hard. While it is the black sheep of the series McClane becoming sub-superhuman feels like the only progression the series could take at that point. Plus, being from NH it’s awesome that our state motto was inspiration for a Die Hard title.
    That said every other movie mentioned on this episode is garbage

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